Around and around,
there is no end.
Just continues forever
When I was a little girl,
I loved spinning.
Rides at the park,
the slides took me on an adventure.
I would twirl around,
Just to feel my long hair blow in the wind.
Dancing, Singing, and Enjoying.
That is what I used to think.
Now circles are different.
I'm falling over, tumbling down.
I am no longer enjoying,
I get nauseous, I can't handle.
I'm getting dizzy by my thoughts,
When can I get off this carousal of confusion?

I have friends who love me,
A family who cares for me,
even a dog who greets me at the door.
Why do I feel as if nobody is there?
Why do I feel enclosed in a box?
Why can't I ever break free?
I am not alone, I am never alone.
Then why do I always feel it?

Papers all around me,
A dog sprawled across them.
I have a computer on my lap,
A phone by my side.
I can contact people in a heart beat,
And could even hear their voice.
I have a closet full of clothes,
and a beautiful home full of furniture.
I have a fridge downstairs, with food galore,
And water that is nice and pure.
I have my friends, I have my family,
I have such wonderful opportunities that other people don't have.
I should feel lucky,
I should feel blessed,
Instead I feel alone, I feel helpless,
because I can't preform simple tasks,
and I can't help but feel
empty.

What's going on?
Where everything should be?
Where everything actually is?
What should I be thinking?
How should I be acting?
Is anyone listening?
Does anyone actually know what is going on?
Please.
Inform me if you find out,
because I have no ******* clue.

I try, I can't
Everything is heavy all around.
I'm getting lost.
I fall, I stumble
I continue on, like nothing is wrong.
I'm losing.
I stop, I stare
I can't, Not anymore.
I lost.