i used to write
but carving stanzas in my skin feels better now
i can’t form the thoughts
or get the words out
so i let the blood spill instead
each drop is a rhyme my brain can’t find
i was never meant to last a long time

i wear pants all year round
i keep it to myself because
these kinds of poems feel so good it hurts

i am not enough
not enough for u
not enough for me
i want to help u
but i dont even know where to begin
i will never be enough
to heal ur broken soul
in other words, to heal mine

i hurt myself because i have control.
u can't reach me.
ur fingernails cant shatter my glass skin anymore.

i hurt myself because at least i know i gave myself consent.
i didnt give u consent.
u broke every promise u ever made me and i should have known from the start that u would take me away from myself.


u know, i accepted the love that i thought i deserved.
i am nothing.
i am
nothing but nothing.
i am nothing because i cannot escape u,
i cannot escape ur words,
i cannot escape ur screams,
ur "shut up and let it happen",
ur "i know u want it"

why wasn't i strong enough?
why didnt i think ahead?
i hurt myself because it makes ur hurt a little less strong.
i take pieces of my heart away from myself as if u haven't already taken away all of me.
u took me.
u took my feelings of genuine love and forgiveness and u ******* buried them.
so i hurt myself,
because maybe if i hurt myself enough u won't have the ability to do it urself.

u forgot my birthday,
it was never love, & that’s okay