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May 2020
i hurt myself because i have control.
u can't reach me.
ur fingernails cant shatter my glass skin anymore.

i hurt myself because at least i know i gave myself consent.
i didnt give u consent.
u broke every promise u ever made me and i should have known from the start that u would take me away from myself.

u know, i accepted the love that i thought i deserved.
i am nothing.
i am
nothing but nothing.
i am nothing because i cannot escape u,
i cannot escape ur words,
i cannot escape ur screams,
ur "shut up and let it happen",
ur "i know u want it"

why wasn't i strong enough?
why didnt i think ahead?
i hurt myself because it makes ur hurt a little less strong.
i take pieces of my heart away from myself as if u haven't already taken away all of me.
u took me.
u took my feelings of genuine love and forgiveness and u ******* buried them.
so i hurt myself,
because maybe if i hurt myself enough u won't have the ability to do it urself.
Written by
abbey  17/F/wonderland
     ---, SWebster and ---
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