I go back to Hampshire
to pretend I have old friends.
I drive around the mountains
to look for an end
to the violence
that's been breeding inside.
I've been a god ******,
god ******, god ******.

There's a dying wild
surrounding this town;
a girl limping with her mother,
holding ****** hounds.

You can consume it,
the blurred out dreams,
that these rubber-lovers
hung in Christmas trees.

There's a sense regret
amongst the ****** chic;
a romantic degeneracy
not lost on the teens.
Push in the fate,
to let something out.
I'm such a god ******,
god ******, god ******.

And I blot the ******
remnants of the past,
fire a cheap cigarette
and cut myself on the glass
of the car I drove into
the bank of your dreams.

To get out, to get out,
I've become such a ******* fool.
To get out, to get out,
I've hurt everyone that thought I was cool.

If you wanna be the same,
be the same with me --
I swear we’ll always
blend right in.

And when you say
you don’t like Jaws,
I'll still be a Peeping Tom
behind your books.

When you lie, Maggie-Pie,
about the movies you’ve seen,
it makes the Tom Waits you like
seem contrived.

Degenerate drug kids,
too high to be a star,
in love with moments.

Give me my moments,
my lifeless promise
to always have a car
and insurance.

If you wanna be lazy,
be lazy with me --
I swear we won’t
ever do ****.

And when you bop
your head to Kendrick,
I’ll watch you melt
underneath the strobe.

Place your finger on a globe,
tell me where you think
you could be, then tell me
about your perceived
self-worth.

Degenerate punk kids,
with more ink than squids,
and a tip-jar future.

Give me my future,
my hurried ten years;
you know my twenties;
you know my reason.

Give me my reason,
give me my reason, give me my reason.

She wore a windbreaker as red
as her parents voting habits,
and smoked American Spirits
as rough as the next-door
skateboarder's hands.

At 18, she was bored by
teen-aged touch,
and looked towards the
thirty-five year-old avant-garde
painter, who meandered in his
sun room, like a soul
pretending to be lost.

At 20, her parents told her
to go to college, to go to
'some place other than here'.
So, she went and had skinny,
Greek fingers with chipped nail-polish,
dip down and inside of her, without
judgement, without thought, and,
with this touch, she felt free.

At 24, she was an undergrad with
an apartment and a guy named 'Blake',
and Blake said Brown and she said State.
And when Blake left, she felt complete
despite losing something meaningful.

And when her story started to go on forever,
her body spread across the pavement like
seeded jam on burnt toast, scraped thin,
without image and without future, lost
inside crevices and cracks, a memory
or thought, wandering nothingness.

You said you needed my soup

But I present my best and your faces melted onto my sneakers

I only had the pair so I now walk barefoot

I soon realized my predicament

This was an unknown land and I lacked public transportation

My space phone broke when I dropped the sky pool

So I chain smoke for signals
hoping for a reasonable excuse

Thumbs would be out but I have trouble trusting strangers

I make my way

Three fields of concrete
train track trance
Overalls with the greasy gloves
cold metal exposure

Finally I see an outlet mall horizon

Ten shops
two in working order

Past the thrift store with it's deceiving Lego sets

Reminding me of infinite childhood disappointment

Because the crucial pieces were always absent

Sneaker shop with the cross
Annoyed reception
See my ***** feet and gasp

Give me shoes I cry your Jesus demands it

My lack of religion horrified the shoe salesman

Who swore I would never wear his sandals

I say gods don't dictate kindness people do

I am acutely aware of my own hypocrisy

I laugh with the rest when presented with crocks

I hear their edible but a chew and a tooth goes flying

They throw me out the door saying I'm my own problem now

Now there's food for thought

As long as it comes fried and delicious I will hear myself out

I am an American after all

You down there

Elegant and cozy inside your dumpster divinity

I can see the pain painted boldly across your faces

Each scar and crack tells a tale of times indifference

Yet you wear them like a badge of honor

Sifting through the remnants your eyes glimmer with knowing

like these collisions are meant to be

You fell into one another never having a clue

Hate and fluid swapped

On to the next one

I see you flow out of sight

Into corner clubs and shopping centers

Emerge some time later clutching pies and stomach

***** into the gutter and nod at the monotony

Humans harbor hungry hysterics
Small pain for huge comfort

The bars fill one by one

These rainy days make for awkward gathering

Nobody knows anybody but human nature insist we share common spaces

Walls fill and stools turn
***** fueled banter
Listen and never learn

long gazes propped on the elbows

Faces filled with contrition and self loathing

Avert your eyes skyward please
It's peace may soothe for a time

Humble and elastic

Like that chewing gum in the urinals

Watch it bend and contract
Product of a misplaced perception

I prefer these roof top views

My constant sky gazing may be cause for concern

Better I can see the tragedies coming

But we all must come down at some point

Sitting on this couch

I witnessed my best lamp turn into a goat

in these moments

With no troll for physical intervention

I truly fear me own chemistry

I had to go

It's a strange turn of events when ones mind can no longer be trusted

Even stranger when it comes so abrupt and uninvited

like an old friend with sandbox obligations

Fear in that I have no idea when I actually came unhinged

Relax

Retrace your steps

Find a time when these images actually made sense

When the sky had a less sinister muse

when life echoed humble

When stomach pain was a dull ache

now I sit here without a proper clue as to what comes next

Waiting for this shaken stutter to articulate properly

however with no soul for communication

I must finally face my own reflection

the last time I was here

I saw myself turn into an old man and decay properly

So fear resonates when I step onto cold tiles

I look into the mirror

my eyes say

"where have you gone?"

Don't do drugs

I rarely do

This was a reminder why I usually say no