Mom,
I still have a pen in my hand
But I am unable to wield it,
Because
My perpetual tears spoil the page,
I try to write on.
I've not been able to write you,
A poem,
That you might love;
Random lines,
That you might know I'm out there,
Somewhere;
Or even a word.
I haven't even got a paper,
Spoiled with ink,
That I be admonished for.
I know,I left you sad,
But,Mom, know that
I slayed the cowards,who
In God's curse clad,
Took away your lovely lad,
With that lunch box in hand
You prepared with that fatigued body of yours,
I couldn't devour.
(I'm sorry for that too)
I'm there,
Mom,
You told me tales of.

Thousands of thoughts running amuck
In my head
And no one in the world
Cares to understand one.
You pass by me
And don’t even notice.
I pass by you and I can see
Your whole life
And your world is a world
I will never belong in,
And I will try not to.
But you expect me to have results
Same as yours.
But I am not you,
Not her,
Not The person you would want me to be.
I am a shadow fleeting by,
Burned by the light,
So despearate to hide.
Let me go.

I understand when I look at you
How this is all you need,
A haze of days tangled in weeks,
Where you eat knowledge
And exhale not a word of your own.
I understand you will cure the world
Of its constant ailments
And I respect you,
That is your world.
But I am not you.
Let me go.

I breathe, I breathe
I live by seeing, feeling,
By laughing, by watching the strangers
I don’t have to befriend
Or isn't of the same house as me.
I live by people,
People whose world is built
By wood and chalk
And the dust flies likes ember ,
I live by their world
And get some dust on my face
And I breathe in their blood.
They are the people I want to be with.
Let me go.

Don’t get me wrong
I respect you,
I do,
But you don’t like me
And I don’t like you
And I don't think
We should do the same thing.
You are a block building a bridge
I am a wild flower lost in the wind.
Let me go.

From your neck
Crawling its way up to your head,
Like a river cutting across soft land
The pain follows upto your brow .
You squint your eyes
And shake your head,
The pain taps your mind.
This is the pain from hopelessness
There is no escape, feel it,
Embrace it.
Pray that it busts your head open
And your brain splashes across your bed.
Pray that you evaporate
That you disappear,
Leave back a stain
For that is what your life has been.

You lay on your back
Silence broken by the blood
Running around in your otherwise limp body,
And you hear a screech, a whisper
A mocking?
You turn your empty
But strangely heavy head,
You see the creature
whose children you killed that evening.
You had hunched over the broken egg,
Its insides now spilled outside,
And the other one still lay across.
You had nothing to do,
You wiped the goop that could be life
With a torn bit of paper ,
Haphazardly poured water
And wiped again.
Who would say
The floor had seen death today.
The other egg you rolled to the side,
You knew the creature would cry tonight.
You went about with your life.

The creature is swelled up again,
You noticed
Life would get a chance again,
That is how it works you wonder,
But she must be furious
You see her staring at you.
You are sorry you say.
That's all you had to say
Until today.

Today you are thinking of striking a deal with her
Today you will ask her
To spill your head open
The way you had spilled her egg.
You will ask her to give you peace,
To give you your awaited escape
And in return she can have her justice.
Tell her you can be killed,
All she has to do is drop you
From a height
The way you had dropped her egg
From her home, your rolled mattress.
The only difference you had no intention
Of taking away someone else's life
But your own.
So today ask her to correct your mistake.

My blood will be wiped
My stain will be removed
Someone else will take my place.