My poems rarely trend
Guess I'm not a trend-setter

I saw you staring blankly in your room
You were lying down, like energy has nowhere to bloom
Mama always deliver you food
You don't eat with us anymore

I heard you cried, Mama told us about it
I understand why and my heart wrenched
I wish I can do or say something, anything
But I don't know what act or words will be soothing

I know your body misses to puff that smoke from a cigarette
It is hard to stop, friends who've been there told me about it
But you had to, we've been telling you to
And because your body is also disappointing you

I wonder where your sweetness has gone to
Maybe they literally seeped into your blood and runs through
Maybe I had inherited it in my veins too
Don't worry I am proud, because this is from you

Worrying has been your hobby lately
Because our youngest still has one more year 'til she finishes her college degree
The house, electricity, water expenses, and the money
Because you could work no more, as per your exhausted and old body

I wanted to tell you that everything's gonna be alright
But, Papa, I cannot lie
I honestly don't know if it will
I am also doubtful, I am also worried

But Papa, as your eldest, I am ready
To take on the responsibility you carried
I know, I know, it'll be heavy
But I can do it, don't worry about me

You have worked hard enough
See, we already came this far
If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have had
The best family I can wish for, and the best of life

So please, be energetic again
Please eat with us again
Please dry your tears
Please get well

Please tell us those sweet-nothings
Or the corny jokes that had us laughing
And we'll tell you, you're still the most handsome being
Our eyes have ever seen

So get a lot of rest
This is just an obstacle, a test
Sit back and relax
Just watch your eldest, just watch

You endure the pain of laboring words from your insides
Like giving birth to a new life
Bare your whole soul and let them bleed into a piece of paper
And this process repeats over and over and over

But then your precious child was stolen
You're slowly eaten by anger, your teeth gritted
You're reminded of the emotions you put into creating that child, including the pain
You want to vent the anger, your hands shaking

But you cannot do anything but to punch in the wind
Though your patience is weighing thin
You felt molested, violated
You're just hoping they wouldn't forget about the rule that is golden

I may be a poet but I'm not good with words
I'm not good with words that should be spoken, or words alongside chords
I'm not good with words that are supposed to be echoed
Or words that require a brave voice

I may be a poet but I'm not good with words
I don't memorize all the words in Mr. Webster's books
Neither the classic words Mr. Shakespeare wrote
No, I am not someone who can really boast

I may be a poet but I'm not good with words
I cannot express well and have words in its proper use
I don't know how to start, I do not know the exact dose
I'm afraid they may be wrong, the words that I might choose

I may be a poet but I'm not good with words
The words and what I mean, might not get even close
The battle between my heart and mind might not even have a truce
Because I tend to have many, and contradicting views

I may be a poet who is not good with words
But I'm good at words written with a pen and a note
To know what I mean, you'll just need to put an effort
Read and digest, all I have to say is written on what we all call, a poem

There I go again
I was dragged in
Inside that chamber
On the 6th floor

Heart thumping
Wild, about to burst out
This worst feeling
Seeping into my guts

I'm about to throw up
What butterflies?
These are dragons inside my stomach
Devouring me from inside out

Then it started
As I expected
I was handcuffed
chained all over, down and up

It echoes, the incoming footsteps
I shivered as I froze
'Cause I know what will happen
Then, the doors were locked and closed

There it is, The Ghost
"Why me?"
"Because it is you I chose,
and I know you chose me."

It pierces my chest with its hands
It dug my heart out
Torture, this is torture
Nothing can compare to the hurt

I am screaming in pain, crying
But I cannot let out a sound
Under its rules, I am bounded
To express, I am not allowed

If I let out even a soft sob
I will receive a million jab
Because to express is a taboo
And probably to be human too

But who is it to blame?
On the 6th floor, it is me who came
I came knocking, searching
The Ghost only accepted my pleadings

Because this is what I wanted
I'll have to heart-fully accept
That I'll repeatedly succumb to the torment
On the 6th floor chamber

Because The Ghost is right
From the start, the decision was mine
I know I cannot go back
*Because I chose to love