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 Dec 2014 Joshua Haines
Creep
Please  
I'll put my mask on of "happiness."
When you see me put this mask on,
Pull it off and ask me what's wrong.

If I lie to you,
Which I probably will,
Slap me.

When I slap you back,
Pull my hand back,
And wrestle me to the ground,
Force the truth out of me,
Then console me with hugs and kisses
As the tears begin to fall.
I'm not okay (i promise)
Welcome to the black parade
Both by my chemical romance
The sun is shining,

But I couldn't see.

The wind is blowing,

But I couldn't breathe.

The darkness remains to stay upon me

If no one comes,

My heart would bleed.



My senses are lost,

Please lead me the way

If you promise not to break

The promises you make.

I trusted many before you came

They broke my heart

'Cause they wanted some fame.

And now I am here standing alone

I just want myself to be unknown.



The people are driving me insane

They do nothing but give me more and more pain

Their laughter rips my ears,

Slowly making a way for my tears.



The clouds burst with a growling grin

The rain pours down upon my skin

Alone I stand beneath the rowdy rain

Because all my endeavor went vain

I drench myself wishing my thoughts would melt

removing all the pain that I ever felt.
Maybe I don't understand
the Laws of Physics or
Stellar evolution,
but I know that
your atoms are composed of stardust
Maybe this is why the life in your eyes
is illuminating everything like a carbon giant.

In astronomy they told us
that the darkest parts of space
often contain the most energy
And I thought you should know,
that just like the ancient galaxies inside of you,
your darkest parts still shine.
After all this time, I have learnt to write in the dark. See, this jukebox plays every night and it wouldn’t shut up no matter the pounds I fed. Such is the night of a writer; it goes on shuffle and repeat. And sometimes I hear your voice. Most times, it sounded like folding a picture of us and keeping it in the pockets of a stranger’s jeans, probably ending up tumbled and dried. I ask myself if it could have been a painted canvas. It’s just the thought of you that haunts me at night. If you ever do heart to heart talks, let’s talk about haunted houses. Some people get out of it; some don’t; some re-enter just for the thrill of it. I might be all three and I might not be the most played song in your playlist. I have tried several times to write about you, but none of them sounded right when I read them out loud. Some may write what they believe and some may write to believe; I might or might not be both. If I survived writing this prose, how could I be sure if it was your voice haunting me or if you were just a house I sought refuge in? The Northern Lights stays in the Aurora Zone; no one said that they’d ever Go West. Your skin on mine was like a child holding on to candy, I never wanted to let you go. When I wake, I only wonder if you have ever missed me at 3a.m.. I could make a mixtape titled: I heard you in these songs. But you were one who basked in the light. So I guess it’s safe to say that what was written in the dark stays in the dark.
 Nov 2014 Joshua Haines
Sidney
searching.... for that perfect person.  All of what I think I want I also think I cannot have and that it does not exist, yet I continue to search.
My heart cries out in pain and an aching that I cannot ignore any longer.
Is it possible to have true love at my age?  Am I too dried up and used?
There's always the "one day, one day, one glorious day, he will show up when I least expect it" *******.  

Underneath the heartache is a deeper ache.  Have I missed my chance? Is this how my life will be from now on?  Even the thought of that makes my soul crumble.  I suppose if that's what God intended for me, then sobeit.  It can't be true...
If it were possible to hasten life
To blur the years, and daytime into night,
Regret would be our lonely widowed wife
Ourselves soldiers with nothing left to fight

Why then, is it common to demand love
To place stiff bars around the fair and pure
Encounter it only to let go of
You cannot push what is not yet secure

It is not a trapped bird to just observe
Its song is clear, the echo of a breath
It’s touch is something that we all deserve
For without love, life just waits for it’s death

Love is free it cannot be ours to choose
Let it be, love is our limitless muse
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