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Lavender Menace Feb 2022
I'm still waiting
In the snow
To be the one you love again
You’re different but, O’ the same
I want to hear you breathe my name
But it ended, didn't it?
I did this
I just want to restart
Stop doing drugs and give you my healthy heart
I think it hurt you before
Pericardial and falling apart
And Celine
Your eyes are a work of art,
What's left of fall, someone I could give my all.
And I still love you…
Which is to say
Something of a start
This is my Thousandth stage of grief and I wont get a break
Until I can finally admit i'm in a constant state of mistake
A stagnating intake
A self that I can't shake

You’re so different
But oh so same
Still the girl i fell in love with
I’m still stuck on that night,
I forget the verse, perhaps it was the fifth.
When they sang the flames into the night,
And lit a sacrificial light.
Leaning against you, against the wall
That night, that night,
I changed your mind
With O’
But a “Want”
Lavender Menace Oct 2021
surely, my love, this is the end
may the hope of orion look back upon us, and tell our lovers tales
a choice, so simple yet love so gone and,
surely, my love, this is the end
the cups are empty when blood hath pooled
words whirlwind in my ears like memories
a song
surely, my love, this is the end
worries for curls and worries for girls, breaking knuckles in the mall
bang my head against a wall
then perhaps an answer will stall from the halls the cracks in the walls the blood as it falls perhaps and answer will finally ******* stall
make me known oh beautiful angel of love and decay
bury me in analog, under white ash and the cracks in your laugh
surely this, my love, is the end
so now im just laying here the cold ones only stare
whisper me truths of us when we died in youth
doubts consume our merry heads and take us to the floor
starved for connection i only plead harder and ask the doubt for more
and with all but a shiver,
doubt nods his head
surely, my love, for this is the end.
  May 2021 Lavender Menace
Lorem Ipsum
They say practice makes perfect.
And you’ve always been smart,
but you’ve got hating yourself,
right down to an art,
it’s now just a step in your morning routine,
To glance in the mirror,
And not like what you’ve seen,
The voice in your head lies,
But it won’t let you know,
You gave up on ignoring it,
A long time ago,
Flowers in a vase,
Keep your guard by your bed,
Yet you still see their beauty,
Though their petals are dead,
If they were a person,
they’d hate themselves too,
But they would always be loved,
By someone like you,
Although your petals are wilted,
And you think no ones knows,
You’re only counting your thorns,
While the world sees your rose.
~e.h.
E.H. is a master at rhyming.
Lavender Menace Mar 2021
Oh, Baby let me sing you french lullabies. I swear I can make them come out in clouds of lilac smoke.

because darling I love you and I'll hide it if your scared, just please remember that I'm always right here by your side, forever waiting for you to be alright.

my jolie fleur I'll always care so just know that a thousand suicides will never drive me from your side.

And lovely I will sit mute for you on this floor,

with open or closed door I don't care I'll never tell you that I want more. but sweetness if I could speak I'd tell you that I want to hold you Kate. your my universe tho so I'm down to give you space. now I'll leave you alone, I wont see you, hug you, kiss you, love you, not for a week or forever if that what you really want. and **** I know I've been selfish when your going through a lot, yet it spills from my head when your gone, like blood on the white carpet you left me to stain. how on earth did I do this without you here to make me laugh?

you're not laughing anymore

now it's only ticking, ticking do you miss me? because i really ******* miss you. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do, with these thoughts spilling from my mouth on to a page staining it like you stained my ******* hands when you touched me.

L E A V E M E A L O N E

please come back to me.

these thoughts are eating echother like lowly leaves on a thinking tree and it just keeps on thinking, thinking, why won't you speak to me?

im sitting right here outside the door we built together. and I listen to you scream those french lullabies we used to sing.

and if you let me dear, we can scream together.

so baby.

let me scream you french lullabies, I swear I can make them come out in clouds of lilac smoke.
i wrote this poem after a hard breakup, it took me a long time to finally relese it to other people, i geuss its sentemental.anyway tell me what yall think in the comments
Lavender Menace Feb 2021
If passion was injectable would you stay in this purple stuck cavern without saints or pain, left alone with only feeling together you and I, and as apache tears fall and cut my knees, will you take my hands and let me taint your skin with golden spikes? To run away with blinded lovers and gouged out eyes, will you silently yell my pure white lies like a pope to his god?
Don't be afraid, I won't let you leave. Not until i die in every breath you breathe
After all, all’s never fair in love and war
Lavender Menace Feb 2021
Let's go into the forest and play together in the end
A subterranean Wonderland to race afar to land
We’ll walk right past the gates, the signs and pleading in my head
And run right into the forest and dance without a flow,
Alone in all obscurity without our head and weave a twisting garland to hang upon our neck
Let's sing about non fiction words we play, I want to tear your hair out and prance around the trees.
Let's go into the forest with oil and a match,
let's sing a song so silent that everyone will hear, they think that we’re in pearl, chase us around the forest but you'll never catch me.
Let's write our songs on paper and blow them far away
and shudder on the pavement with oil in our hair. And oil slickens skin and it tastes like hay and statics round our tongue until there's nothing we can't say
Let's go into the forest, play hide and seek. I can't really hide from what's inside of me.
Lets dance and sing and fiddle and pull apart our ears until we hear the shanty everyone will hear.
And when it's dark  and cold let's strike a single match and whali about the colors as we watch our fingers catch.
Let's sing about the boiling bubbling on our skalp, and when the skin it cracks then you'll finally let me out.
Let's sing of all the birds that are trying to escape, racing from the forest out to seal our fate.
Let's sing about the smell of burning fur and oil and whatever's left of what I hurt looking for my morals,
Let's dance and fit around and try to listen to the glow, a miracle that creeps about your face and sharply trickles nettles that craze amongst your skin.
Lets **** about and croon out and feel my pretty eyes burst apart like a firework and even when they shush us never will we stop.
Let's sing about the simmer we feel upon our skin and about my hair as it burns oh so thin,
And all can hear the fissures that blaze along our neck.
Let's sing about the scars that render down to black and blaze and hop and boil like a bunny's pelt.
And even as our body shakes and jumps about we will still be buzzing until the fires out.
Let's sing about our heart as it ruptures with the flame, and as it withers up I will cry in joy and pain.
With the tears that never come, we can sing our song but when your eyes are melting and your cheeks are cracked that last thing left to warble is a joyous song.
And even when the heat folds and cracks apart our voice, we will keep on singing loud enough to hear the noise, and by the time they douse me with the holy water my song will be too low to reach the son and father.
Let's go into the forest and lie awake and think of the thinking things to do and the thinking things to make, and even if you miss me, I know that it's nor fair. I love you friend and even when you helped I never cared, please walk away alone and afraid and find someone who never wills to go away. And I will stay in the forest fighting through the night lying on my back and hoping you won't cry.  
Im sorry.
intrusive thoghts be finna realistic tho
Lavender Menace Dec 2020
yes i know theyre older messagas that im crying so hard to veiw but im not down to jump to preasant cuz it ***** but thank you?
i miss all those mushroom pancakes we named online but thats fine you need a break from all the sugar intake that i seem to give, and ill live without you for now or forever i geuss, if living makes you happy that thats what ill do?
i miss you
oof
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