Love based on beauty does not last

I hear my name
In the breeze
That your waters carry
Im coming
I hear your call
I agree
Its been too long

"There is pleasure in the pathless woods, a society where none intrudes..."
- Lord Byron (Ode to Ocean)

It only takes one word
To either ruin
Or make someones day

She’s a preacher’s daughter
She doesn’t know anything
About the world
Or what it means to suffer
And to be in pain
She’s a preacher’s daughter
Her smiles are genuine
And not painted on
To hide the lonely heart
That lies beneath
She’s a preacher’s daughter
A role model
Never wishing to hide
From the crowd of eyes
She’s a preacher’s daughter
Always does what is right
Because she doesn’t have
An empty hole to fill
How could she?

Behind every pretty word
Was a secret motive
Until that motive wasn't so secret anymore
All these mind games left me confused and unsure
I tried to play the game to the best of my ability
Until it came at the cost of my peace and tranquility

What is reality?
Just because you choose it to be
Doesn't mean it is
Just because you wish it to be
Doesn't mean it's true
Just because you believe
Doesn't make it real
Yet the same thing could be said
The other way around
Just because you choose it NOT to be
Doesn't mean it is not
Just because you DON'T wish it
Doesn't mean it's not true
Just because you DON'T believe
Doesn't mean it's not real
What is reality?

Revenge feels good for a moment
but it isn't until time has passed
that we realize it's true consequence.

Could someone show me
Where the Rose Garden lies?
The one that holds such beauty
Never before met by the eye
Many flowers that are being sold
Whether they came from the garden
Is Unknown
Approached by someone
With a stem in hand
Took me a minute to understand
“This Rose is yours”
They said
“And your body I’ll take”
Only to find out
What was offered was a fake
Made to look real
With an agenda
To steal

From me

Crossed paths with another
One who promised the title of a lover
But their rose came with thorns
And now there’s blood on the floor

Could someone show me
Where the Rose Garden lies?
It feels as though I’ve been searching
For a long time

Run Run
But you can't hide
From the very thing luring inside
Close your eyes
But you can still see
What is not setting you free
Cover your ears
But you can still hear
The sorrow of your destruction
Open our eyes, take a stand
Enough of these interruptions

What is this inside that I feel?
A love that cannot be tamed.
A love that has raptured my heart
A love that has been there from the start
A love so beautiful and pure
A love that is so real and sure
A love that bring me confidence in who I am
I love that makes me understand
That Gods love is so real

She walks down the isle
The black veiled bride
In desperate need
To hide something inside
She will not allow the groom
To look upon her face
She fears of no mercy; no grace
There's no way to count every tear shed
Never expresses it but conceals it instead
With the heart pounding nearly out of her chest
She can't help but long for death
Fear has grasped her soul
So many things unrevealed; untold
Her long awaited husband
Begins to remove her covering
This is it, the exposure of her suffering
Her eyes met his and she felt something inside
Through the amount of compassion in his eyes
"I love you anyways" was his very words
She could hardly believe that she rightly heard
That this man saw past it all
And still chose to love her

Both a blessing and a curse
The feelings of ones heart
The joy and the hurt
The light and the dark
The freedom to love
The prison of pain
Gentle as a dove
Hard as stone some days

Getting kind of dark in here
Maybe its time to leave
You know the way out
Don't act like you can't hear me
My voice is getting louder
You can only ignore it for so long
Just try to resist my power
Try to resist my song
There are plenty of exits but one way out
Go ahead and take your pick
You can choose your own route
Are you starting to feel sick?

Wouldn't this rope look so pretty around your neck?
Or this knife through your heart?
Wait just a sec
We aren't quite ready to start

Look at this bottle of pills
Go ahead and take them
Not convinced still?

Pull this trigger
The job will get done real quick
Your feeling sicker and sicker
The air is getting thick

Time is ticking
We don't have all day
Are you done picking?
Any last words to say?

Silence!
I hear your voice
I know you're there
This is my choice
To live life I dare
To resist you and your so called power
I will continue to fight
I will not take the exit of a coward

Now leave
Your job here is done
I will not give in
Your song you've already sung

As pretty as you think it sounds
It's a little off key
Never had someone tell you that?
Guess that someone is me

With the heart of a mermaid
And love for the sea
I was created to explore...
The depths of life and meaning
The depths of identity
And of the soul
So I dive
Unaware of what I'm searching for
And yet so ready to find it

A door with the face of gold
Covered with priceless jewels
Opened to discover the paradise Ive been told
Turned out to be a lie to lead me to my doom
Everything with the definition of beauty is fading
The ground giving out from under my feet
The things I love I find myself hating
This cannot be my defeat
The fabric of reality is being torn
The definition of life is meaningless
I should of never opened that door
My vision blurred from all the mist
Another door I hardly gave a glance
Began to call my name with the faintest voice
I told myself I'm done with this dance
He said it was my choice
I gave the door a knock
It flew open wide
in shock
I realized it was my turn to die
And in doing so I live
Not my life but His
I have found reality
The void in my heart filled
With peace I am still

Heard a banging on the door
Relentless
And strong
I peaked through the door hole
Someone who I thought was long gone
Took a step back in a panic
How could he be back?
Another bang on the door
Nearly gave me a heart attack
“Open up! I know you’re there” he screamed
“I know you’ve missed me!”
“No!” I reply
“Sure you have! Now let me inside”
He pushes on the door
Over and over again
I crouch down and cover my ears
Hoping for it all to end
One more push
And he’s finally inside
I run and try to find a place to hide
I feel a strong grip
That pulls me by the hand
Flipping me around
In his arms I land
“I’ve missed you”
He leans in uncomfortably close
There’s tears in my eyes
And a lump in my throat
“Did you really think that I would disappear forever?”
He asked
“Look at us. Together again at last!”
“I don’t need you! I never needed you!”
I proclaimed
“The moment you left the better person I became”
He laughed
“Is that so?”
I yank myself free of his grip
“Yes and now it’s time for you to go.”
“But...”
“But nothing!
This chapter is done.
And a new part of this story
Has begun
Your presence is not necessary
This freedom Ive obtained is not temporary
Leave!
And take your toxic atmosphere with you
And believe me when I say
We are through!”

I was told that were not getting out
That there is no way
My heart sunk and emotions froze
I had no plans to stay
I never wanted to come here
But I had no choice
It chased after me
Stole my freedom and my voice
Locked behind these walls
Looking out through the glass
I see my escape...Or do I?
Is this my chance?
Or is it just an illusion?
I can hardly tell
I'm tired of this confusion
Tired of this hell

Oh the Romantic period
A truly amazing era in literature
To discover oneself
To love nature divine
To see everything as sublime
To wonder about the supernatural
To not care about all things factual

Staring Down
Squinting my eyes
Trying so desperately to see outside
So many colors fading into shades of grey
I can no longer determine the time of day
Am I doomed to reality only being a guess
I need to know! No longer feel depressed
I pick up a hammer and shatter the glass
The glass that represented my past
The past that wanted to blur out my future

Three Years...
It's been three years
Since Ive seen your face
I hardly think of you now
But every so often
When your name
Is found in my thoughts
I miss you
And I have a question for you
I was too afraid to ask before
But something shifted
As the days turned into weeks
And the months turned into years
And I wonder
Who this person is that I am going to meet
When our paths cross again
Time changes a person
But I hope we still share some things
That will connect us again
And if not
At least we have the memory

Tick tock tick tock
Does time exist?
Tick tock tick tock
Is it only a myth?

Day by day
Hour by hour
Where does it all go?
If you were to find out
It would make you weep
And it would make you groan

Tick tock tick tock
How much of my life is spent?
Tick tock tick tock
What am I to do with the rest?

Next year came to quickly
Tomorrow won't come soon enough
Time is flying by swiftly
It's too late to make up for some stuff

Yesterday feels like forever ago
And last year feels like yesterday
Time is a confusing concept

It can't be comprehended
By our senses and sight
So I come to the conclusion that
Time is life