and when your grip tightened around my waist
the urgency of your mouth to capture my taste
from that moment i knew i was done
completely and totally
unfathomably yours

It's a sad, sad life.
  
Going through days without worry,
                                       without fear,  
                                            of being judged by someone in the sky you've never met.

It's heartbreaking and pathetic.

Following morals that feel right,
                                       felt in your heart,
                                           instead going by ancient word in a "holy" book.

I am stupid, I am ignorant.

I believe differently than you, and I shall be outcast,
                                                      condemened to eternal hell,
                                                         because you disagree with me.

Is this what your "God" really wants?

Prayers answered by
Echoes of themselves imparting
No advice, 
Repetitions of the question
Asked over again
Whispering softer
Each time it is refracted.
No thunderous voice from clouds agape
To shed light through stormy skies
Or seas parted to pave the path.
Spread the blood of the martyrs and
The Lamb across my door,
God does not live here, anymore.

I used to be an atheist
didn't go to church
I sinned a million times
and didn't listen to the bible's words.

But now I sit crouched in front of the window
every night
hands clasped
eyes closed,
Dear God...
praying for death,
praying for death.