Was it worth it?
Does it even matter now that it’s done?

That time of struggle seems so far away,
That chance to be forgiven,
Taken away.

My hands clenched in prayer,
Mangled by gravity,

Laying now,
50 feet either side of me.

Wishing someone would’ve noticed,
Before I threw myself off,

Labeled it psychosis,
And moved on.

Now even here,
No one notices,
Stuck with all the others,
Lost without focus’.

Just like a flea I’ve been taught not to jump higher then the limit that was set for me,
That to live is to be realistic,
So as I get closer older,
I discard those dreams,
Allowing them to slip uselessly through my fingers.
And when I have kids,
The cycle will continue,
I will teach them how to live,
So that their heads won’t hit the top of the lid.

I love the deep hatred of a character,
The want to ****,
But the seeking of restraint,
I love their murderous gaze,
Their intent full of disgrace.
I hate the knowledge that it will most likely change,
That they will grow,
Learn to love,
To reciprocate,
And not to throttle their wrong doer by their necklace.
Their hate is perfect,
Like an art of perception,
Because only true love comes from the hate of deception.

I know how I want to say it,
On a walk in our spot at the park,
On that slab of inflatable concrete,
I want to ask you if this is a mistake,
That if what I’m about to say is gonna mess everything up.
I hope you’ll know what I’m talking about,
You probably won’t though,
That’s if I even get that far in the first place.

I wish I had the courage to say something to you,
I just don’t want to **** everything up.
Sometimes I wonder if its better just to live in uncertainty,
Than to say something that would cause change.
I want to know how you would react,
If you would try to let me down slow,
If you would fear that I would get upset.
The more I think about it,
The more I think that there’s no way you could love me,
And as much as I tell others that I could get over it,
I don’t think I can.

I believe that it will be impossible to stop loving you,
You will always take up such a large portion of my heart,
You changed me so much,
Taught me lessons,
Patience and who I was,
So I will probably love you forever,
And even if you don’t feel the same,
I really don’t think it will ever change.

I thought when you said you didn’t feel the same,
I would have to let go of you,
Never love you again,
Then when I couldn’t do that,
I thought I might wait,
Bide my time,
Wait and take,
And when I couldn’t do that I realised that I could still love you,
Just in a different way,
Understand your complexities and acknowledge you lovingly,
Being your friend will never be enough,
But it is for you,
You’ll always have my heart,
And I’ll always be here to support you.