In this drafty bedside cavern
I lay with my feet up against the wall
tap tap tap
Held up over my hard head
Resting against the hard ground
Back here, where my pillow is my headstone
This palace is a burden,
Utterly insufferably forgiving.

Fantasy hits the ceiling
A dream shot from my mind
CRACK
Moonlight shines through the cave's newborn fissures
Useless to me
Uselessly groveling under shadowy sheets of sky  
I need this sterile fluorescent light.

It dances across my face
pitter patter pitter patter
It drops into my eyes,
Falls into the chasm between my lips
Cold and reeking of rot
Cold and tasting of an invasive species of mildew
I swallow, choking back tears
I eat it
It eats back.

The realizations smarts me in the chest
The horrifying transparency falls out from under my teeth
Without the clash, I am lifeless
Left crippled
Watching it crawl away
Untouched
Through blackened eyes
Grizzly and ugly and growling
I have never been beautiful enough to be art
I have never been gifted enough
To make an art of it,
My circumstance
Curled up in my work clothes on soundproof sheets
Preparing for The Slumber

I wake up without you
Lying away from me won't solve your problems
Not even on your cold asphalt bed
Your mechanical graveyard covers twisted tight around you

Rain rinses your wounds
The blood is washed away
A river flowing into my room
I don't recognize you, sitting in the corner

Watch my chest heave with silent sobs
Picturing your gnarled face
I don't sleep
I go to bed with you still gone

Lowlife
I crept out from under your ventricles
Cut out
From your glucosamine thoughts
Dripping with mucus, dripping with sap
Sugary sweet
Let me ease your pain
Let me rinse off your feet