You sweet woman
With a heart of steel
If I crack the safe
Do we have a deal.
If I fall
no need to react,
Im quite tenacious
I will bounce back.
The code to your heart
Will be difficult to break
It’s like swimming
Inside a frozen lake.
I know your worth it
Your pure gold inside
So Im prepared
To take this task and
Crack it with pride.
I think I’ve found
a weak point I needed
A break
In going to entice
with
Some
chocolate cake.

mornings spent in muted hues; we are
yearning for an elusive past day

do the
orange of your new sunrises run as pretty as the
dear sunsets you saw by accident?
entwined in a single moment - the long
calls that bleed into ‘am’ time,
all of it; it all was seamless - we were
hearts beating as one.
every moment we had was a
deserted emotion -
ringing through. And sometimes I am
out feeling alone - but perhaps in the
night - we are together.

I wonder how I would've turned out
if I lived a different life
one without childhood trauma
and mental illness
one without severe anxiety
and self-consciousness
would I be happy
and carefree
how would I feel
would I have lots of friends
because I wouldn't be scared to talk to people
would I eat healthy
and not feel guilty when I have a sweet treat
would I be grateful to experience life
I don't know
but I can try to make it a reality now
I can't change what I went through then
but I can change what I'll do now
and in the future

they say fake it until you make it
I faked being happy and alright
have I made it yet
sometimes the answer is yes
and sometimes it's a no
content to sad
to content
a small rollercoaster
or emotions
way more manageable
than how it used to be
it was euphoria to despair
to terror to content
then do it all again
it was mania now its productivity
the change is drastic
but a welcome one at that

the morning
chores,
a chorus,

a litany,
a recital,
of old, worn
words
familiar
well worn
ungloved
fists of firsts

a deep drink
of 11.5 ounces
of a cold spring
water shocking
in~vigor~ates

rebalancing a
sleep induced
deficit

a gloried yawn,
an exhalation
of the overnight
staleness, an
expulsion of
stale residue
residuals,
leftovers
of a prior
life, dismissed,
yet clinging
to your body

in vain
desirous
to be
remained
part of
the landscape
of your
plain

as part of
your
grandfatherly
accumulations

but there’s
only so much
room
in your
container,
and all
your liquidities
must be replaced

that takes space
for the
fresh withholdings

so.
drink deep,
replace the
fluids unique
that operate
your systems

and all the
rest
will flow,
stream easy

the wordplay is **** serious,
fools curse us, attacking empathy
for its sensuous to their BS pretensions,
their hypertension sophistry compounds their

selling them selves  as a holy sphere,
begging for attention and the approval
appetizers of meaningless internet
bacchanal celebrating

I invite you in,
where depths surface
asking you to scratch deeper
than the shallows of egoism shoals

long labored to persaude with caution,
careful disclaimers, when you enter
our first encounter, that first most
dangerous embrace, asking you
to tag along inside insights
my intent plain, secrets
displayed with increasing
the leveling tween twice
an armful of hugs

this criticism disturbs my calm,
and so I repeat twice:

grant us the write to share, in our humanity

**grant us the write to share, in our humanity