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I wish i could explain myself
Fully explain myself...
Stop delivering pain to myself
Be deliberate, and save myself
Instead of filling out the page by myself
Speak in full sentence to you by myself
I'm tired of being lame by myself
Not interested in fame by myself
So the emotions on the page are for myself
I wish i could give them to you myself
Explain why i need all of you to myself
I sorta need saving from myself
And you know what else...
I'm getting used to it being me and myself.
I hate loud noises.
I really appreciate when it’s quiet.

Ever since the asylum,
I can’t stand loud noises,
especially if they’re sudden.

Gets me scared,
sad,
and then mad.

When it’s quiet,
I can think clearly.
I can do things better.
I can be more relaxed.

It’s ironic.
I feel like most people would say
I’m a loud person,
and I’ll give them that.
I can be loud sometimes,
when I’m excited.

But I still love the quiet.
I like being able to think.
When it’s too loud,
I feel like I’m losing it.

I’ve been listening to some quieter music.
Mitski is really good.

They say I have a rock voice,
but I’d rather whisper-sing instead.
Maybe that’s what I’ll do.

I love the quiet.
It’s never the perfect amount, though.
I am the meek one, soft as milk,
The lamb in the dew’s first breath,
Trailing petals in a path to slaughter,
Eyes wide, heart blooming with trust.
The air whispers its secrets:
"Be still, be still,
Your blood will nourish the roots."

But beneath the quiet mask,
The dormant beast waits, claws coiled.
Her breath rattles in the dark of my lungs,
Her eyes gleam in mirrors I dare not meet.
She sharpens her teeth on the bones of silence,
A warrior clothed in shadow,
Bound to the pulse of her restless blade.

I walk the tightrope stretched between us,
Each step a hymn to fragile peace.
But the scales groan, the weight shifts—
Balance is a fickle mistress.
The lamb whispers, "Mercy,"
The beast roars, "War."
Their voices weave through my veins,
Twin rivers threatening to flood.

The line beckons, a seam stitched with fire,
Daring me to cross, daring me to break.
The lamb trembles at the precipice,
The warrior takes her hand.
It is not choice but inevitability—
A tide surging through the marrow of my bones.

I am both the hunter and the hunted,
The blade and the throat it kisses.
Change is a storm I cannot deny;
War is a dance I must learn to master.
The lamb bleeds, the beast awakens.
There is no balance, only fusion,
Only the becoming of something whole.
In the depths of thought, I wander lost,  
Seeking to measure thy beauty’s cost—  
Shall I weigh thy radiant grace in silver’s gleam,  
Or count thy tresses in golden beams?  

Yet within thy eyes, the universe resides,  
A realm unknown where truth abides.  
Shall I peer into that endless depth,  
Or hear the whispers from thy cheeks, where secrets slept?  

Before me, the cosmos unfurls its face,  
But in thy form, I find the same grace.  
Shall I witness the heavens in their endless flow,  
Or gaze upon thee, where divinity doth glow?  

In thee, such secrets are revealed so free,  
As roses dance in harmony with the sea.  
Thy beauty, a mirror of the divine,  
A pose so perfect, it transcends time.
In the Eyes of the Cosmos 12/12/2024 © All Rights Reserved by Jamil Hussain
I felt the sting of nightshade bubble up inside me,
Once more, I cough up the bloodied Solanaceae.

Purged into my lap, budding with flesh,
Pallid petals ripe with Persian plum mottle, gored and fresh.

Racking my body in waves of herbaceous excruciation,
Crawling up my throat, clawing in botanical mutilation.

Lain out on the creased stone,
My macabre of a garden is blotted with the watercolour of my own.

Weary from retching, I stare at my withering ***** with distain,
I shrivel internally at the burden of mopping each and every stewed stain.

But I know I must clean the mess I've forged,
Because its nobody apart from me, who impulsively gorged.
This poem I have written is an allegory for impulsive anger. The act of vomiting nightshade is a metaphor for lashing out, the flowers used as a substitute for harmful words and the dread of cleaning is the regret for the harm the intentionally caused by the outburst. Feel free to interpret as you please and comment on the poem if you enjoyed reading <3
Jupiter's lantern
mindful of infinity
across time's darkness

-cec
M’Aidez M’aidez became
May Day             May Day
Shah Mat became Check Mate.

Yet, there are people consume
Main Street Media’s daily diet
Without ever questioning it.

Chess was invented in Persia
An Islamic Muslim state, not
Arab, but there are no bishops.

Yet, there on the board either
Side of the monarch, are two
.
Now why is that ask yourself ?

The papal crusades removed
The ships ( which tack ) if you
Are familiar with wind and sails,

So, why would a bishop move
Diagonally across the board?
It makes no sense, not to me!

If you don’t play chess and you
Have never sailed, then there is
An excuse for not knowing this.

Ditto if one takes MSM to be an
Accurate assessment of world
Affairs, even in an en passant.

Did they get you to use teabags
Instead of tea leaves, slice pan
Rather than a loaf of bread?

Is it cost or convenience or is
Careless consumer syndrome?
Ask yourself am I a dumbed down

                        (‘>
                         ?
And then,
like a tempest, emotions surged through my mind –
ah, I believe it could only be the work of a UFO,

And there she stood,
a tall figure, her fingers surprisingly short –
they nicknamed her Finn; a name laced with irony,
for she relishes the Adventure time in the depths
of my heart, soul, body, and mind.

And truly she’s a catch;
swimming so effortlessly, and gliding so gracefully
through the currents of my every thought…

                                                       ­     Finn the girl.
i want to forget
the awful things that you did
but they keep repeating
repeating
repeating
in my head
so every night
i lay awake
letting your words repeat
repeat
repeat
in my head
forever
until the day i die

haha
i really hope that's gonna come soon
Once silent, lost in thoughts he could not share,
An introvert, whose heart he could not show,
A handsome boy with many hearts to spare,
Yet hidden feelings only he would know.

But now, a tempest wild within my mind,
His playful ways, a nuisance, yet so kind,
He teases, makes my patience wear so thin,
Yet in his eyes, i find my heart's sweetest sin.

Unwittingly, he melts my frozen heart,
His every smile a work of loving art,
How can I not, with all my heart, embrace,
This baby RV, who lights up my space?

I'll hold him close, to never part,
For now, he is the keeper of my heart.
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