Words left unspoken
Memories blown away
Because we didn't last
Your words frozen in time
Your body 6 feet underground
I should have said more
Asked more about you
But you seemed busy with friends
Who cared for you
I faded away
Because our friendship didn't last
But the memories we had
Did last
How we laughed together
And you called me a little gay
On the inside
I should have said hello
Because I never got to say goodbye.

I'm a self destructive mess.
Putting myself down
Starving myself
Because when I see myself
I feel I am not good enough
You shouldn't love me
You shouldn't care.
You shouldn't be near me
Because I am self destructive
And I will hurt you
In the process
Of hurting myself
I know I scare you
With all the things
I think badly about myself
But I didn't tell you to love me
But maybe
You can help me fix myself
Because I am a self destructive mess
And so are you
I guess that is why we work together
So perfectly

I colored myself red
For every lie you told
Out your sweet warm lips
I colored myself red
For every time you ignored me for another girl
For every sweet bliss you whispered to me.
As your hand found it's way under my shirt
I know I should forget
But you stole my heart
And the only way for me to feel again
Is to color myself red
With my own blood
That you tainted with your fake love.

A stroke across a page
Coloring the once white page
Colors of how I feel inside
Paint splattered tired hands
Only doing it to feel again
Emotions hidden in colors
On a beautiful sky
A stoke across a page
Coloring the Gray world, blue
Adding sunshine in when it is needed
Changing the world
But only by a stoke
On a white piece of paper
That doesn't matter.
~PAF ~

You won't look at me.
It is as if a glance of me will curse you.
My hand you once held now lays by my side.
Cold and empty.
Did I do something?
Did I say something?
What did I do that made your smile.
Go weak.
Made your eyes stone cold.
And made me feel worthless.
What did I do?
Why won't you just look me in the eyes?
Why won't you crack a joke.
Why does it feel
Like it is all my fault