Don't tell me about Long Distance.
I have known Long Distance
since the day I saw you waving out of the back window of that silver Prius.
The snow banks insulating my car
because i spent the last 47 hours with you
and held you while you cried
because you weren't ready to leave for the marines yet.
But your body said other wise,
your muscles sharp and deadly.
It's been a while since you've written,
and it's been 8 months since my blankets have stopped smelling like you.
I couldn't help but notice
the way my body drowns in these sheets
because you were my life vest
but you were not there when i jumped in.
I looked back at the dock before my head went under
and i saw you just sitting there,
watching me struggle.
I tore you apart in my head
every single strand of thread and love was separated
until every bit of silence that was woven in has been exposed.
But these strands don't hold any value when you're drowning,
what I have done is destroyed the only thing that could give me buoyancy.
Now I am left with extra weight on these shackles
i bear and water filling up my lungs
like a measuring cup to a recipe from Hell's kitchen.
In your last letter you asked
"Are we okay?"
but you don't just tell someone you love them then let them drown.
I have known Long Distance since you came back home today.
You are so close to me
but I still feel like you are not present.
There is something to be said
about missing someone who is right next to you.
Usually it is the person at home
who gives up on the one in the military,
but you found your home inside of those bunks and those guns.
You have only taught me to never make homes out of human beings.
I have to keep reminding myself
that you are a woman to never be slowed down
because you will leave everyone else behind
and I never wanted to come last to you
but i never wanted to beat you either.
I have known Long Distance
when I reach my hand out
and you've always been just slightly out of my grasp.
You were a goal to work towards,
a beautiful woman sitting on a pedestal waiting to be won
and I've always been too inadequate to be the one to have you.
You are the Epitome of Long Distance,
and I have known you for much longer than I would have liked.

Many things change
But I'm still the same
Here I remain
Compounding the pain
Maybe someday
It will go away
If I would refrain
From calling your name.

I've got an old tale just for you
Not that hairy *** hanging thing
Something brand spanking new
I am a little bit crazy
But once you know me
You will see how I fly with one wing

Now to the tail we shall go
Waving left and right, to and fro
Sometimes fast and sometimes slow
A lot says a tail, oh they bellow
But not with a voice oh no no
With the to and fro shows the flow

Now isn't this interesting
A tale of a tail, should I say more
What was I thinking
It gets thrown around and rubbed on the floor
Of what domain am I now sinking

You can't tell me? you don't know?
You've followed this entire show
Oh, it's ok I'm just cooky
Here just forget it all and have a cookie

The empty space on my bed where you should be is occupied only by the thought of you

The empty curve of my waist where your arm should be resting is filled only by the desire for it to be there

The empty space between my fingers where yours should be entwined with mine is occupied only by the thought of it happening

The empty feeling of my lips without the company of yours is filled with the impossible wish

Go ahead, make the cut
just make sure its deep enough
Go ahead, tie the noose
just make sure to tighten the loop
Go ahead, throw the switch
just make sure to finish this
Send the bullet through and through
just aim true before you shoot
Complete what you once began
and maybe I can live again
I've died too many times before
and tire of this repertoire

613

They shut me up in Prose—
As when a little Girl
They put me in the Closet—
Because they liked me “still”—

Still! Could themself have peeped—
And seen my Brain—go round—
They might as wise have lodged a Bird
For Treason—in the Pound—

Himself has but to will
And easy as a Star
Abolish his Captivity—
And laugh—No more have I—