The two skipped through the world
Her paint was red
His was black
They ran through life complimenting each other perfectly
Her red streaked jagged lines across people's vision
His black smoothed over the rest of the space
People would be blinded by black and red and find themselves stunned by who these two people were
Wearing their hearts on their sleeves
Displaying their paints so precariously
Loving life and living life
The Red Rose
The Black Thorn

Our little forest still stands.*

That day...You told me that the best way to make a decision was to flip a coin....because in mid air you know exactly what you want.
So I took that ten cent and I said that if it was heads then I'd kiss you...and that tails would leave us sitting there awkwardly

I flipped it and as the coin spun recklessly the racing airborne revolutions synchronised with my insistent heartbeat....and I kissed you, I swear I saw bright explosions as I experienced the softness of your lips on mine
You took the 10 cent coin and we Both kissed it then despite my disbelieving protests you threw it into the slithering undergrowth....never to be seen again
From that day on....we called it 10 cent Forest
And if I could go back I wouldn't change a thing...except maybe.......use a 5 Rand coin....Maybe if i did that then it would have been worth more than a single ******* kiss

Maybe then it would have meant more than a pitiful...******* kiss

Maybe then you wouldn't have ******* discarded what it meant, like a failed artwork, for a luckier-than-he-knows 'Player'

You just don't care about me anymore.  Or do you?

I'm sorry
That
I haven't
Made you feel
Special

Lately

All these emotions

But
No
Way
To express
Them



****!!!!

I am

        A coward

Beyond a shadow
of
a doubt

I am

        A coward

Beyond a shadow
of
a doubt

What part
Of perfection
Dont you get?

I am imperfect

What
Is writer's block
If not pure
Inecurity
Of oneself

It's 23:45 and I'm sitting outside in the rain
It's chilly and this weather makes me want to cuddle
The lightning strikes while the thunder rumbles across my vision
Vivid flashes blind me and in the darkness followed by the bright flash I see you
I see your dark wet hair from after you showered
An auburn red that soaks into my memory
I see the navy blue boobtube dress you wore that day and I remember how amazing your neck and shoulders looked
I see your spine as I remember massaging your back in the softest most pleasurable way just so that you could be comfortable
I see your gorgeous legs draped over my lap as I remember tickling them and flirtatiously pushing your dress up a bit more each time
I see your giggly smile as I presented my hands to you and I remember how you put my hand on your hip And explored the other as if you could unlock all the secrets that lay within
I remember imagining kissing you

I remember each detail of that day just like I remember every single ******* book on my therapist's shelf because it doesn't matter how many time I call myself brave I still can't look him in the face as he helps me to dissect my morbid disgusting insecurities......

I remember how I told my friend that I fell harder for you than standards do at a new years party

I remember telling you my secret.....the one that you alone know on this earth...
What happened to that?
What happened to 'never letting me feel that way'
And I can't help but think that at the end of the day I was just a stupid ******* kid who fell for an amazingly ****** up woman....
And yes I said ****** up
And yes I said kid

I remember the stupid note I hid in your sketch book
And I ******* hope you don't find it
And at the same time I pray you do so that maybe you could fathom the pain you put me through

I remember how the abyss threatened to drag me down as I regretted not trying to kiss you

I remember thinking that I'm willing to dive into the abyss for you.....

At the end of the day I never did jump
I never needed to
Why would somebody jump if they had someone willing to push them

it was one of those days
you know?
where nothing is REALLY wrong
there is no urgent emotional issue that needs your attention or that is creating that familiar vortex of emotions within your mind and heart
it is just as an whole a bad day and you wish a million times over that you could just go and lie down on your bed and sleep for the rest of it
it is one of those days where you have this phenomenal high within your soul and then you just hit this incredible low that hits you so hard that even the combination of othello friends and history does not cheer you up
i am angry
and sad
and tired
and over it
and i want to give up
but tomorrow morning my friends will see me because i cannot give up
because if i give up then i am even more of the shittty hypocrite than i already am

i will be alive tomorrow
so that i can smile and suffer and pretend that at the moment i like myself and that nothing is wrong except that
I'm tired

I will never live you down
It's not as if anyone can
you are just this mountain of strength
a pillar of steadfastness
a picture of beauty
you made ugliness itself beautiful
you are someone i will always love and if you read this never forget it

Tim loved playing games. He always pretended that he was a hero and that he killed all the evil monsters. He would stroll through an entire army of them with a sword and **** them. They could never hurt him! He was invincible!

One particular day after killing 6 amies he came across a differnet type of monster. This one was not like the others. It was bigger! It’s claws were sharper! It’s eyes were beyond evil! Despite himself Tim gave a shudder of fear. Then he charged and with one swipe of his sword scarlet blood splashed and the monster lay dead! For some reason Tim was tired, very tired! He looked across the land and saw an army of monsters. With the arrogance of a tyrant he charged!

they were all dead! He looked behind him. 7 armies of monsters, slaughtered like lambs , lay dead behind him. He didn’t know why he killed them and he felt empty and cold. His worst fears were at the front of his mind. Something about those eyes made him shiver! In a sudden urge of anger he screamed! It was then that he realized that he didn’t like this anymore. He wanted to stop, stop everything . he wanted to leave! Yet he merely killed another 3 armies!

He was so tired now! He had killed over 10 million monsters . he cried out to the sky because he was lonely and scared, but only his mind responded because nobody else was there. And he didn’t like it. His mind scared him!it told him things, things he didn’t want to hear or do. He became something he didn’t like. A body and a mind. They wee separate yet bonded. He retained control over a small part of his mind , but the rest was something else! He called it : GOD

“**** THEM!” screamed God
Although he didn’t want to, he did. God was strong and Tim was weak. So he layed about him with death, ruin, and destruction. He did it without thinking. He could barely think anyway. He didn’t really have a mind anymore .
“**** THEM” screamed God
With every new bunch of monsters god’s mental voice ripped through his body. Yet again he obeyed God. Against his will he obeyed him.

He sat. he could not do anything anymore.
“**** THEM, **** THEM ALL” shrieked God
Yet he just sat. he would **** no more. He wanted to leave. The monsters closed in, and he smiled. He found it funny. After killing 34 million monsters he only die at the hands of 3.
“PLEASE **** THEM” begged God
With a big smile on his face and happiness in his heart he said the one word he was never able of saying before.
NO!!

“GOD DIED JUST AS TIM LAUGHED AND CRIEDAT HIS OWN PAIN AND DEATH” said God

The knife slices into my arm
Its like ice
Thin cold ice
So cold it burns
The heat starts straight after the cold
The red hot heat
That flows over my black and white life
The red hot heat
That helps me
It keeps me from  the rope just a while longer

The comment slices into my soul
Cold
And hard
Just like the voice that uttered it
The pain starts hours later
After school
After sport
After supper
It starts in bed
In darkness
Whwn im alone and it returns
And it pushes me
It hurts but ill not fall
And I started this poem with beauty in mind but im ending it with

******* BITCHCUNT

I WILL NOT ******* LOOSE

I've been reading over my old writing
And I see something in my art
It's scary and I don't know why
I'm scared of what my most visceral art is
That raw ******* emotion will rip me apart if I drew it
Or painted it
Or bleached it
Or whatever
I created a prison of words for my most painful emotions
It ******* hurts so ******* much
And I'm so ******* scared of who I am

I think about what it would be like
I imagine that it would taste fresh and minty
Cold and shockingly hot
I imagine my eyes glazing over in a total reverence for her soft lips
And hers igniting in a flame of....
Something
That makes this kiss better
And easier as if it were always meant to be
I imagine that after the kiss she would rest her head on my shoulder
And she would smile and feel safe while I held her
And I would finally feel what I suspect only she can make me feel
I would feel adequate

She's calling me again
That heartless *****
She took my grandad
My dad
She has my family in her clutches
Are sweet claws
Her venomously tangy bite
Her sting
Her fire
Her ice
Her heat
Her coldness
Her beauty
Her horrors
And now that heartless ***** is calling to me
A 15 year old boy

"She is like a lily crafted from rubies. Gentle in the nature of the flower yet passionate and powerful in the nature of the gem. She is an anomaly. A contradiction in society boldly living: a woman...who is strong and bears God in her heart yet has not gone cold. Nay...she is not a lily of ruby alone...she is a lily made of ruby and burning with the fire of God."

This melodious clamour
Stumbles around inside my head
Drunk on thoughts of you
Intoxicated on the memories of your hugs
A clang of the sparkle in your eyes
A ba-dumm of the freckles that were scattered across your face like the stars scattered across the skies
And if I could I'd nail my soul to those very same stars if only it would give me the tongue that could explain to the blind world how precious you are...
How much I love your smile
How I want to reach up to your face and gentle gather up your star freckles and count them
Just to know how many freckles there are on your body
And I would....but only if I could because our meetings will be farther apart and fewer than the very freckle-stars upon your face
And at the very least the memory of your hugs will be the supernovas scattered across the fractured galaxy comprised of the precious memories of your presence
And when I remember your smile
My galaxy will tremble
It will shake as the light of transcendental beauty graces it
And when I remember your blush the galaxy will collapse....my galaxy will fall into itself and my memories turn on me...
A black hole will form and **** in all the emotions that aren't you
And In the end I'll have lost my heart
Taken over by the memory of you....
And my chest will ache
My stomach will knot and fight it's master
My longing and desperation to see you will manifest in the form of physical pain
And as I sit in my room
Writhing in pain
I will look up and close my eyes
And an image of you will form in my mind's eye
I will remember seeing you sitting in Tribeca....eating Red Velvet Cheescake....the cake a deep blood red
A red of passion
And I will remember how when you pulled out your cake fork
How two or three lines of that very same passionate red would form on your lips.....
And as I remember this I'll sit up
Smile
Stand
And stride into the future
Because I will miss you
I will want to see you
I will want to hold you
But I will walk on because all that lies between us is ....time.....right?
And that isn't so bad.....right?

I don't always write masterpieces
But if you sift through all the junk
You'll find a gem or two

He sat on his chair
In his desk
In a place he called heel

She walked
In a place she hated
She bnamed hell

He sighed
Decided to take a break
And walked through hell towards heaven

She sighed
She was stressing
So she went for a walk to heaven

He sat on a chair
And loathed himself
He loved heaven but was still in hell

She walked into a room
With a man on a chair
She frowned for hell made it all worse

He silently wept
With no tears
He needed respite from hell

she teared
With no tears
She needed respite from hell

He looked into memory
But found nothing
His life was a series of hells

She looked into her mind
But found nothing
Her life was a series of hells

Where
He thought
in despair

Where
She thought
In despair

He looked up
About to scream
And saw her

She looked around
About to cry
And saw him

She was amazing
Beautiful
Captivating

He was amazing
Handsome
Captivating

She smiled
And he cried
Inwardly

He smiled
And she hoped
Inwardly

He looked upon his life
And finally
Took a chance

She looked upon her life
Almost cried
And took a chance

He stood up
Went to her
And said one syllable

She stared
As he walked up
And said one syllable

He despaired
For she didn't say anything
And turned

She grasped
His shoulder with desperation
And begged with her eyes

He turned
And smiled
A true smile

She smiled
A true smile
He caused it

He started a conversation
A conversation
Of a lifetime

She chatted
Without thinking
She just let her toung work

He hoped
Something he never did
Something he liked

She hoped
Not a false hope
A true hope

He left
With her number
And hope in his heart

She left
With hope and fear
Would he call her

He lay down
But didn't sleep
He thought

She lay down
But didn't sleep
She thought

He smiled
A true smile
A Happy smile

She smiled
A true smile
A Happy smile

He slept
Like never before
For he had never truly slept

She slept
Like never before
For she always dreamed

He woke up
And smiled
He had slept

She woke up
And smiled
She hadn't dreamed

He called her
And made something
Love

She answered
And felt something
Love

                             TRUE LOVE
                        SUCH AS NEVER FELT
                 YET IT WAS REAL FOR THEY FELT IT
          AND FEELINGS ARE TO BE TRUSTED? ????

They laughed
They were not he cand she
They were they

Dear reader

This is strange but if you are a  photographer (professional)((with finances))  please contact me so I can talk to you

Yours sincerely
Me

"it was a mistake"
thats what she said
how could it be a mistake
right afterwards i asked her
if she felt it
"felt what" she responded
the undeniable fact that we belong together
"yes " she said in a voice coated with hidden lies

whats wrong i asked
"i think it was a mistake" responded the *****

YES IT WAS

And she painted
It was ugly
Scenes of  dismemberment
Blood drops raining down on her soul
Heavier when they accumulate
And she painted
Until the weight
Crushed her belief
In goodness
And  she painted
Because men are all the same
And the drugs never helped
And her daddy wanted a boy
And she painted
Because slapping her incredible pain onto a piece of ******* cloth
Was better than actually getting ****** on it
She painted
And it was ugly

"Angels can fly" she whispered and jumped*

and she soared.
o how she soared
her white wings
stained by the blood that leaked from her wrists
charred from the Burns she gave herself
yet still white
white because there is still innocence in her heart
despite all the taunts
the blood
the tears
the pain
yes there is still innocence
so she ***** her great white wings
diving
swerving
doing flips in mid air
the wind snatching at her hair
and she laughs......

Because she is falling

"Angels can fly" she whispered and jumped

she fell
hit the ground
**and died

I'm stuck between an angry vent and a sad one
I'm sad
And I hide my true emotions behind anger
So I'm really angry about the fact that I feel empty
I'm angry about crying myself to sleep
I'm angry at her (like seriously this time I'm angry for real)
I'm angry that she doesn't really care much
I'm angry that I miss my family
I'm angry because of what I've done
I'm angry because I can't figure myself out...
I'm angry because one second I'm happy and I like who I've become
I'm angry because the next in fighting off the pit that's been growing in my stomach

A pit that I started filling too late
Because now I'm sitting at the bottom of this pit looking up at the better me throwing dirt onto me

it is a screen
maybe some beautiful words
and the concept of someone being there for you is so comforting
the w2ant and need for us to fill that hole of lonloiness inside of us is what drives it in the beggining
but when we realize that it does not really fill that gap in our heart
well that is when we look for something else to try and fill that gap
for a while it is the fact that we truly think that someone loves us
and they usually do
but when that does not fill the gap
it becomes the willingness to put in all of our effort when someone else needs it
we do that but in the end you realize that it is not enough
we might do all that we can but over a screen what we do is never enough and never will be
so yes in the end all we truly are to each other is a screen
we may say all those beautiful words but deep down in the deepest darkest hole inside of our hole of lonliness
that is where the reality lies
the truth
the truth that we push down as far as we possibly

Bi-curious seems like such a horrible term don't you think
I can't really put my finger on it
That's probably because I'm not allowed to touch what's not mine
But nobody said anythng about looking
And that's what I'm doing
I'm looking
Or searching
Or you could even say that I'm enquiring
Yes I am curious
But I'm not Bi-curiousi don't know if that distinction is as important as I make it out to be
I could say it in simple terms
I like boys and girls
Or I could say it in a label
I am bisexual
I have however come to one final conclusion
And that's that I'm not bi-curious
Or bisexual
I just see the beauty in all humans
And I want to indulge in said beauty
( Even though indulge might be the wrong word.............

A cross is what I remember
Because her shirt formed a cross across her ***** perfectly framing her enticingly beautiful neck
I built up the courage and using a phenomenally cheesy one liner I started talking to a total beauty
I remember thinking that for once I cared more about the sparkle in her dazzlingly enchanting eyes
Than her curvaceously elegant body
Her perfect curves
I let my mind wander
And I think that maybe I'll get to see her and we'll get to know each other
I let my mind wander to that so called ffirst kiss and I can barely breath at that thought
I imagine all these things
As if it were possible
As if we weren't seperated by 8 hours of driving

Tell me what beauty is

last time I answered they told me I couldn't use her as an example. So instead this time I say :

I don't understand the question

just to buy myself some time

It was not a question. You shall answer.
Tell me what beauty is

but I don't understand the question. If you could just exp-

*the man's fist cracks across my face. The power of the force throwing me off of the chair. I start chuckling. Laughing manically like in all those movies you see. And with fire in my eyes and defiance in my heart..... I say Her name. It rebounds off of the walls hitting the ugliness in the dark room. Hitting the pain. And knocking it all over.  It comes back to me and envelopes me in a cushion of tranquility. As if I am underwater and all sound has stopped.  Light is softened and my heart soars. The pain disappears.  The agony evaporates. The anger expunged. All of it replaced by the glory that is your name. The elegance enraptured within that disyllabic word. The sheer and unadulterated beauty that is just your name. And with a smirk I think: and that's only her name.

You will pay

I see the promise of pain in his eyes but I know nothing will be strong enough to overwhelm her name.

Love left me
It is forsaken by me
I do not trust it
For it destroys

Hatred cries out to me
And despite common sense I embrace it
Why
Is it so much nicer

Compassion
A pointless feeling
It is a curse
And it drags me to hell

Resentment
I resent it all
The sheer irony
Amuses me

ignorance
The sheer beauty of it all
And yes
It is indeed bliss

hello
Said a broken voice
She wanted love
She wanted someone

hello is somoene there?
Said a scarred soul
Why did it happen
Why is she scarred

please help me
Whispered a tormented voice
To a hidden saviour
That would never help her

please
Said a broken soul
A soul broken
By broken promises

just leave me alone
Said a condemned voice
To the monsters in her head
Her broken head

..........
She said nothing
For nothing was left to say
Except

GOODBYE

I swim in a sea of bullets
My curse allows me to be in a place like this
Each bullet has a name on them
Zoë
Zerilda
Clara
Suné
Matthew
Siya
Tim
Tania
Hanli
And each bullet is lethal
Each bullet represents the certain words that can **** the person
I find these bullets and carry them around with me
As they burn holes in my pocket my mind is filled with what I could do
One bullet could destroy each of them

And they better be happy that I will never shoot them

I'm sitting alone
The half dead fire struggling to breath again a half empty bottle of water; not enough to **** it...
It's flames start once again...but small
Like tiny faeries dancing across the face of the embers hoping to let their passion ignite the memories of past
The faeries grow and as their brilliant vibrant life comes to an abrupt but equally gorgeous end they are consumed by young saplings of fire
Their children consume them as roots of coal give rise to stems of life.....
Fire-like life
Vicious...short...abrupt...extreme
Each flame- when slowed to accommodate our laborious minds- lives a life more vibrant than ours
A sizzle from the evaporating water heralds the arrival of a beautiful spire of intense heat
It burns....brighter than the sun but only for a millisecond...
Then...It dies...
And so does its comrades...
Until now... one solitary veteran remains...
He will not die
He will not wink out of eternal existence
He ensures that his memory is maintained by the life he leaves behind for new flame to arise
Like a phoenix incarnate the fire Roars! but only in a whisper
For this fire has seen it's end
Now Only the sad memories of orange-red embers remain hidden amongst the ashes
Soon the ashes will smother the remnanats of a once brilliant life
The fire: destroyed by its own product
It is no more
It's brilliance....eradicated...



I remember.
I rember your Brilliance.

I never said I choose to be happy I said I choose to carry on

I will fail a hundred times.  I will still continue. I have no other choice.

You have to be sure
You have to make a decision
Then you have to drag that decision outside and beat it with a stick
Then drag it back inside and put it in a chair and torture it
Until you have squeezed out every last drop out of that ****** and you know deep in your heart that you have made the best decision you could possibly have made

Have you ever met a girl that can make burning ****
And cutting beautifhul
Caring ugly and pain vivacious
She is so amazing
Then her beauty drags you in
And you know that neither of you are ready
And that only pain will be the result
But you go coz the razor flame and the pain calls to you like a song that haunts your soul
A song that never leaves you
A song that floats in your vision like smoke
Palpable but you cannot grasp it
You can never feel it

Ten: im scared
Nine: your scared
Eight: I miss you
Seven: do you miss me
Six: give me a blade
Five: let me cut your heart in half
Four: let me kiss you
Three: I'm lost
Two: find me
One: kiss me





Zero: the end

Ten thousand tears I never cried for you
Nine thousand smiles I never showed you
Eight thousand frowns you never caused
Seven thousand kisses I want you to have
Six thousand longing glances you've never seen
Five thousand drops of blood not spilt for you
Four thousand walls punched in frustration
Three thousand doctor trips for broken fingers
Two thousand pies (just to make you smile)
One thousand tears actually cried for you
Five hundred screams of frustration
One hundred tears of happiness cried for you
Ten flowers of hatred not grown in my heart
Five minutes of rapture given to me by you
One constant thought:you

I do not know why I did it
Because I'm scared
Im a ******* coward
I cant take a leap
I never have been able to and probably never will
But I want you to know that infatuation passes
And either im the most ****** up person in the world or somehow despite it all I do love you
And the fault in our stars
Puta it very nicely or whatever
And everyone says that im too youngto understand livlove
Maybe they are right and I was scared
Thats why I asked
Because deapite everything I say which is true
I dont want to destroy myself
Even though I want to die
There is something inside of me that is still seeking to preserve me
And yes I have to be drunk on alcohol and tired for it to come out
I know its selfish
But its real
And I hate it
But iv learnt that sometimes if you decide to be a coward then you will live to see another day

Dear.....(Someone)
I want you to know the distinction between the phrase :
"Dear (Someone)" and the meaning behind it.
See the phrase could be seen as the idle 'I Love you' dropped at your loving mother's desperate ear as she hugs you goodbye.....see:
"Dear (Someone)",
The meaning, is when you hold her shivering figure and as her sobs break her, you gently whisper:"I love you" into her ear

"Dear (Someone)"
It is a phrase used all to often and
Dear (Someone)
The meaning can change, resurrect and empower you,
Dear (Someone)
I want you to understand that when I talk about you
Dear (Someone)
And I say
Dear (You)
I do not use the phrase....I mean it
See
Dear (You)
You have taught me the significance of using that prefix and
Dear (You)
I want you to know that when I say Dear Mikyla....It is a phrase
But when I say Dear Elize....It is the meaning

An emptiness
Defined by isolationism...
A lonliness
Defined by desire...
A lack
Defined by me...

A desire
To fill the emotions
With substantial satiation
Enough to satisfy
The animal within
'Beast mode' never ends for me
A horror
Committed by me
Condemned by most
Cursed by all.....
Is this me?
Is this path mine?  
Am I destined...
To be a sojourner all my days
Is it predetermined?  
Or is this a path yet to be defined
By Him
And me....
Is it past that time?
The time or redefining reality?

....

I will redefine myself

It's not completely true
you know
Thry say that you have a process you follow
Get born
Go to school
Graduate
Get a job
Meet a nice girl
Marry her
Have kids
Grow old

Die

But it's changed  
You know
Get born
Have a sweet little childhood till highschool
Start thinking
Become sad
Have the emotions
Cut
Drink
Smoke
Become numb
Cut
Drink
Smoke
Get the rope
Cry
Kick the chair out

Die

I wish he knew

I wish she knew

He is so cute so handsome
The perfect guy

She is amazing utterly pure abd beautiful

His lips as soft as velvet
His hands so gentle
His eyes so thoughtful

Her lips like pure silk
Her hands so small and tendrr
Her eyes the epitome of intent

He kissed me once
We were drunk

She kissed me once
I was drunk

The deathly smell of intoxication on his lips meeting with mine

The sweet numbness of intoxication mixing into her breath

My poison flowing into him numbing the effects of his drunkenness

Her vivacious poison numbing the numbness. Like alcohol but better and sweeter

There was no lust in me for him only him to be mine

I did not wish for her body I wished for her to be mine and mine alone

I would **** any ***** who so much as dares look at him

I would break the teeth of any guy who does anything to her

Ugh

****

I wish I could show him

I wish she could just see

I would never let him down

I would kiss her, tell her she is beautiful

I would smothrt my pains in his sweet tender arms

I would call her just to say 'I love you'

I would save my tears for him in two differnt jars. One big. One small.

I would cry rivers for her

The big one for happiness
The small one for pain
Both because of him

I woildt break my arm over and over for every tear spilt from her precious eyes

I wish he knew

I wish she knew

I wish she knew

 

I wish he knew

 

I cried last night

 

I thought about him all night last night

 

She steals my sleep like she steals my heart and tears

 

He is my 4am thoughts

 

I wonder if she can cry

 

Do boys cry over girls?

 

‘Cause I know that if I collected my tears, I could drown myself in them

 

There is nothing left of me, his presence haunts inside of me


I want to be part of everything that is her

 

Tomorrow I will tell him

 

Why don’t I just leave tonight, she wouldn’t even notice

 

I can’t wait to see him

 

Maybe I’ll stay to see her. Just once more

 

What am I thinking? I’m just a weird girl.

 

I love the way she is so weird and different

 

I have tied the noose

 

She looks sad. I want to be sad with her

 

Time for me to kick the chair

 

I could call her

 

I will always love him

 

No, stupid idea… Why not

 

(she dies)

 

Why isn’t she picking up 
I knew this was a bad idea

I don’t have a chance

I heard the news at school today

 

I hate myself

 

I hate her

 

(stumbles into janitors closet in tears)

(lays there for hours)

(he grabs a bottle of bleach and drinks it.

 

The end.