i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body.  i like what it does,
i like its hows.  i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones,and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the,shocking fuzz
of your electric furr,and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh….And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new

I stand above my bed
And examine the damage.
Blankets this way and that
Pillows all over
Sheets tangled up around themselves.
Proof of something that
Only hours ago
Left this place empty.
I take in the rubble
And breathe deeply.
I lower myself down to those
Tangled sheets
And backwards bedspreads
And fill my lungs with you.
I pull them up around me
And close my eyes
And wish for this place to be
The same kind of battleground
Again tomorrow.

San Francisco, CA

There isn’t anything I don’t love about winter
The cold air
The frozen ground
The painted sky
And you, next to me
Wearing layers, making us look three times our normal size
And the snow, that is, if you’re lucky enough to get snow
The lingering presence of happiness in the air
And the sound the ice on the ground makes when you step on it
Pale faces and rosy cheeks
And the burning of your hands when you go inside
And the idea that every single snowflake that falls
Is not like the other
And yet, they’re all beautiful
And those mornings when the sky looks like the shiny ombré pattern
On some dumb t-shirt of a 12-year-old girl
Who isn’t quite ready to grow up just yet
Who enjoys the cold air and the frozen ground
And who loves the snow oh so much
And sees the beauty in its flakes
And is devastated when winter ends
Because everything must come to an end
Much like this poem

Please don't leave me alone with these thoughts in my head
The monsters are coming and they're telling me I should be dead
They force down the blade, they slice up my skin
They tell me I belong in hell, and I should pay for my sins
Humming sweet tunes of death, I can always hear them
No matter how hard I try to ignore their sounds of torment
These monsters in my head they're tearing me to shreds
I want them to stop, with every drop of red, the voices become softer
I can barely hear them now, but they'll be back full volume all too soon
As long as they're still here, my mind will only get darker
I just want the voices to stop, I don't want to hear what they have to say
I want to tear out my heart and cut off my ears, I want the pain to end
These voices in my head make me ashamed of who I am everyday
I'm thinking of ways I could silence them, maybe I'm better off dead
My soul and body are becoming  vacant and empty
The only thing still inhabiting me are those voices in my mind
The quick stinging pain of a cut is dulling the screams, but just barely
I'm already empty inside so all that's left is finding a way to die
I bought a new razor, I have my pills and a tub of hot water
When suddenly I'm hit with a memory, a memory of you
That single thought saved me from the slaughter
You called me perfect, you made me feel beautiful
I remembered your smile, your eyes, how you looked at me
I know you're hurting too, I'm sorry, just know you're irreplaceable
I'm fighting my demons, I'm locking them up and you are the key