Sitting at the eye of the storm
Where the weather has never seemed so beautiful and bright
While simultaneously threatening to return to something deadly

I’ve had my heartbroken many times before
By men, well boys really, that i thought I adored
Always so ******* myself wondering what i did for it to be over
But i got over those breakups faster than a drunk driver gets sober
When they get pulled over
Or so they think
And much like the very wrong criminal behind the wheel of car
With more ***** in their system to set fire to the stars
I was so very wrong
About heartbreak
It hurts so much more to lose a friend or someone you shared a blood line
Losing that love is a wound that not even the hands of time
Can heal
But you have to deal
Do what’s right for you
To keep your orbits aligning how you want it to
Then to stand for abuse
From someone that says they adore  you
But would choose everyone else before you

We always have sleepovers where we never sleep
But this time was different, made me turn off the tv
The lights were shut off, the music null and void
All signs of sound and sight the room was completely devoid
Of anything to see
And anything to feel
The lack of normalcy made it so much more real
As the river began to flow you could hear the waves lapping
Against the throne where I sat
Both panting and gasping
Temporary blindness to the eyes rolling
To the back of the alley of my mind
A new kind of bowling
Where the pins are knocked down
And theres more than just a few strikes
Yikes! I manage to say, as I beg and plead for a new game to play
Clothing and limbs thrown every which way
As we climb the mountain together
Higher and higher
Peaking and heightened
Stimulated, shaking
Happy, frightened
I try to keep quiet but out forces the sound
The echoes of silence replaced by whispers and growls
And with all the forces of nature
My body violently crashes down
From a roaring waterfall
Into a humble puddle
I catch my breath
And on come the lights
And the mess we made will stay, like me, the night

I have these imperfections
That I try to cover up
But recently I’ve ditched the concealers
For a more natural and tired look
And to my surprise
I have never been called beautiful
More times in my life
The warming of my heart
Stemming from the compliments
Adds a glow to my cheeks
That not even the most expensive of highlighters could provide
The wide smile across my lips
Creates a perfect shade of lipstick
That you wouldn’t find at the Mac store
The sincerity heard from strangers
Creates a sparkle in my eyes
Hence eyeshadow is no longer needed
People point out the allure
Where I myself see flaws
And instead of unattractive
I have never felt more beautiful

Sometimes it takes being hurt to realize your worth
It can take years of tears to remember how to smile
Pressure makes diamonds, the most beautiful gem
And the pain only lasts for a little while

The old folks say 'you gotta go through to get through'
And I've never heard anything more real
But you cant see the light at the end of the tunnel
If you don't allow yourself to feel

We have to accept the struggles
In order to obtain the prize
Before you decide to throw in the towel
Remember that the goal is to rise

In the midst of darkness and overwhelming pain
It is easy to accept defeat
But the storms won't last for a lifetime
And that ***** a mantra for me

We have to see the beauty in the pain that surrounds us
Even if you are hurt to the core
Because the reward and the feeling you'll have when you finally overcome
Will be even greater than you could have ever hoped for

She used to be the one with the flowery golden hair
Hanging from a tower in despair
She used to be in a love with a beast adorned in fur
Only seeing true beauty when the love was for sure
But she no longer needs a crown that lights up the night
She doesn't need to pretend to be a soldier to fight
She exudes confidence and pride like a diamond does gleam
She is not a princess, as she was born a queen

the most gentle creature in the world and the most savage
those same lips that whisper sweet nothings, an entire body they ravish
doesn’t pull of when he says goodbye, he sits and waits
watching to ensure she makes it in the door safe
we’re passed the years of pulling out chairs , but he would
and hours later barely find time to make it with her upstairs
excites her
invites her
and of course stimulates
both the intellectual and the ******
in any moment with the gentleman her beating heart palpitates
from lust and wonder
from trust and fear
the gentleman provides security while simultaneously being a teddy bear
a calm roughness he possesses
both jagged and serene
the most gentle savage in the world
neither peace or chaos
like the eye of a hurricane he falls somewhere between

Those piercing brown eyes look through me
With just one simple lingering stare
Both my knees and tongue malfunction

I don’t know how many times
I have typed and erased
A reply to a text
That upset me
It’s like
There’s so many emotions
So many words
So many ways to vex me
Emotions bottle up inside and I have endless things to say
But when that message box sits there blankly
All I can say is “K.”

Tired is no longer a feeling for me
It is a way of life
What once was energy and hard work
Is now anxiety and strife
I wish to sleep for decades
Awaken fresh and new
To find a new generation
Of people who are probably tired too

They say millenials don’t believe in monogamy
Well I guess yours truly is an anomaly
Because giving all of my heart and soul
To one person forever
At the end of it all is my goal