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  Jul 2021 Surkhab
Benzene
ART
Creating art
is like letting your soul breathe
that once choked by doubt
that came to life after one verse .
"Art is just the image of your  soul"

Maybe that's why when I looked at you
your eyes looked like meteors showers
and your iris like moon ,
body barely holds
millions of shattered galaxies
beauty is in the shattered soul
which balancing its sanity .

Sometimes you looked  like a saddest yet beautiful piece of art
which lie at the corner of museum
having a thousand  of tales to tell
yet no soul to listen
maybe they know they won't able to bear it
perhaps it's meant to be that
not everyone is an artist
who can feel your soul .
.
.
" Not everyone can understand you because not everyone is an Artist "
find a soul and fall in love with it . which is ageless and Shapeless.
Surkhab Jun 2021
Walking all scared alone at night
Getting harassed on internet
Increasing no. of rapes and assaults
And the never ending sagas
This gender - men
has made life hell! for many of us...  
But...how can I say all of them?
I cannot insult my father...and thousand other men
Whom I have seen giving regard to the women
I still remember that night...
when my father saved that lady from a creep...
I feel so proud to be such man's daughter
And there are...yes there are...thousands of proud daughters and sons like me...
Men who are raising men...
to make this society better...safer for everyone...yes they are there.
It's us women...being preyed by patriarchy...
What about men? who have been crushed by this system...
Why was his tear not that valuable?
They laughed at him as if a clown
And now I know...why clowns are portrayed deadly
His emotions are considered trash
I wonder when was this equation made
that emotions = 10 x weakness
Just hold on like that...with a straight numb face
or you won't be 'man' enough
All sizes are not beautiful...when it comes to him
As his short height is not acceptable!
He will be the 'man' of the house...with every one's happiness on his shoulders
Even if...he is tired or broken inside
He couldn't talk about his depression...why?
Suicides eating these beautiful men...
because this society can't see them opening up!
See...how far we have come...forgetting about him
He is not metal...he is human too...
with a little heart beating...that aches the same when broken
He needs to be loved and pampered
He won't be less man...when asks for help
Society says," we are losing gentlemen..."
But who is to be blamed then?
It's not about man...not about woman
or any other gender
It's about  human...it's about humanity.
The ways boys are being brought up...I guess needs to change. Let's for once appreciate the amazing men in our society. If my father would have been a creep...and did not respect any gender...I wouldn't have the confidence on writing this poem...thanks to his parents...as he was brought up properly.
Surkhab Jun 2021
Sometimes I just wish to vanish...
There are so many of us sitting at our homes
But still looking for one
I don't understand...is it just me?
When a sudden urge rises to run
Run away on a dark starry night...
to the woods...where fireflies are like stars on earth
And I make my way to that forgotten bar
a place vintage enough...to find peace
Where songs are sung...and happiness is everywhere
like beer in mugs!...It's a fiesta!
I don't ask their names...and they don't know mine...
We just play guitar and share secrets...
as strangers...filling colors in the bright night!
And just return with some memories and a photograph
A photograph filled with unknown 3a.m smiles
I think...or may be...I believe...
I would be happy to let it go that day.
It's just my imagination....a vintage bar *laughs*
But some days I do feel like running away to a place where no one knows me.
Surkhab Jun 2021
Black is all I can see
Vacuum is all I can feel
This place feels like the universe
And I am...just floating around
Hiding away from the truths of the world
Going deaf...by increasing the volume of the music
So that I can't hear them
Going blind...by pretending to sleep
So that I can't see them...
Just trying to survive in this world of science and logic
Where I can see artists losing their worth
where poetry or painting should be taken just as a hobby
                                         O really!?
How will you survive with that empty bucket of emotions...
that lays inside your heart?
I am just tired!!
This world is nothing more...but a race
Where is the peace?
They ask you to feel...
'Peace!' (smirks)
Ask the kids who survived the war...
who still see missiles in their dreams...
the family who lost their son...why?
the dumb police officer couldn't stand his color...HIS LIFE MATTERED!!!
That depressed kid in the corner of the classroom...
Ask them about the peace...
and it would be a bird they heard centuries ago
Where is the love?
They write about....
Look at the ****! we are calling love these days
Teary eyes, broken hearts but smiling lips...
This is my generation...nothing more but just
SAD HEARTS WITH HAPPY PICTURES.
Where is the freedom?
when they say...follow your heart!
As they have got problems...serious problems
with your faith, color, body, sexuality and what not!
That they do not even hesitate once...while crossing limits!

No...no...no...it won't happen!
The doors to peace, love and freedom are locked
in this world...
But...today...I heard it...I saw it...
And may be...you did too.
So...let's just find the lost keys...to open these doors...
I will begin first.
I am sorry...but I am kinda frustrated. I respect the fact...that science has made our lives 100 times better...but how will it save the vanishing humanity?
Surkhab Jun 2021
I realised....
Our heart is just like a strong wall of bricks
protecting our infant like soul...
protecting it from all the wars outside...
But was anything ever safe?
People hit you with their stone like actions...rock like thoughts
Sometimes they become brutal...

Cracks begin to appear in that wall
But...that's where the light enters and feeds the soul to grow...
'cause the infant has to grow....to protect itself...
to stand strong for that one day...when everything would be broken!

The D-day comes...when the dams break...
eyes are flooded with tears...and the wall breaks.
The light just like a mother...nourishes the soul to grow...
Because now it has to protect itself...

It's tough for everyone...and till the time you're broken
You hide it really well...behind the thick curtains of your smile
Nobody knows...what's behind that smile
The soul works hard...to put everythings back together
Trying to get back those millions of broken pieces...
But we forget that if the creator of stars...
sends someone to break...there is someone to put it back together....

Finally...the time comes...when you meet that one person...
the one who changes your reality...
the one makes you question things...
the one who makes you a better person...
the one they call 'a soulmate'.
Hey...how are you all? I hope you find someone to help you build your broken wall.
Surkhab Jun 2021
Hey...hope you are doing great
Because the last we met...it was the eighth
I remember...that august starry night
when we had a fight!
You said...I had a smile on my lips...but sadness in my eyes
You knew all about my secrets and lies
My anxiety was all over my head
There were voices living...I wanted dead
It was easy to say for you
But...it was me who was all blue
I said," You won't get it!"
You said," Being fake...is not worth it!"
I ran inside with tears in my eyes
Leaving you alone...for the coming starry nights
But these days, poets are writing about you
How mesmerizing you are, but sometimes sad too...
I got kinda jealous... as I thought it was only between us
But...then I realized...you were outside everyone's window on dark nights
It was just me...who had closed mine...right?
I came across you last night
You looked so beautiful...dressed all white
Your glow...spread all across the sky
That I had to stop to say a hi!
I remembered my childhood...how you followed me everywhere
whether it was the ice cream store or granny's home..
we went together here and there
It feels kinda sad to share you with million
As you had and have many secrets to listen
The nights feel complete with your curves
whether it's Sun, me or the ocean
Dear moon, you are everyone's first love♥
I met moon that day....after long.
Surkhab May 2021
It felt like a nightmare...
I laid in a dark room...with no door
Just a ray of light falling on me through the window
Making me feel like...the only star in the universe
And the other day....the window was smaller than before
But I did nothing...as I laid on the bed the whole time
The days flew by...as if they had got wings
But...made the window smaller...as they went by
A hole was all left...in the name of the window
so weak...I couldn't even reach
out for the last ray of hope with my hand
The window was gone...the hope was gone...
Not even a quark of strength was inside me...
to collect some light for myself
I laid there...paralyzed...on the bed
It felt like...a never ending tunnel with no lights
As I began to forget the colors of the sky and the flowers
I had lost myself...infinitely lost
It was getting hard to breathe in there
Until one day...when I got chained to the bed
the radio was broken...just silence...biting me hard
the air filled with sadness
laid there...hugging me all the time
My heart drank poison everyday
As the pain was unbearable to take
My voice got trapped in my throat
My own words choked my neck
Couldn't even shout...or ask for help
I just laid there...all the time...like a living dead.
I apologize for this kind of poem as it has no hope or positivity...but I just felt like sharing the condition of mind during depression.

This is my imagination...how it is inside the mind...when a person is depressed.
The dark room with no door is the mind, The window which gets smaller with passing time through which the light enters...are some of the left positive thoughts that vanish as the person gets more depressed.
And the chains are the negative thoughts...that just don't leave.

Depression to me feels like getting trapped in our own mind...but it's okay...i guess if someone is trapped...just please ask for help...because nobody deserves to live in pain...as we all have a motive to live...it's hidden...let's find it!
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