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SummerAtNight Sep 2019
My skin is windy- the world is grey-
Now and forever- there I'll stay
SummerAtNight Jul 2019
You sang to me at 12:22 am
nothing has ever felt as altered or surreal
Suddenly I'm happy
SummerAtNight Jul 2019
Hey! I know I didn't text you goodnight last night. I'm sorry. Just been feeling off.
SummerAtNight Jul 2019
I shared my body with you. It didn't mean enough.

There's no way I can kiss you or give you my love and it mean enough.

You want to keep looking at her, or anyone
else who allows you to look.

When I press my lips hard against yours i am begging you to look at me. Notice my body because I'm sharing it with you. Can't you see that? No one else has touched me. I saved it for you.

Look at me. I promise I won't let you down.
Please don't look at her. It's like watching you tear the heart that I put into your hands into more and more pieces.

Please I'm begging you look at me.
This is all for you. Look at my heart, I'll  surround you with all my love.
Everything I have to offer, and you'll be warm.

Look at my mind. I'll make you laugh.
It'll take your ideas and make them her dreams because she loves you. And you'll be safe.

Please look at my body. Look anywhere but at hers. Look at me please. Don't look away. This is all I have. Let me be enough for Just a while. For just a few minutes look at me. Notice me.
SummerAtNight Jul 2019
I woke up alone in the sun.
I felt for his hand in the grass.
Nothing was there.

I closed my eyes and felt the heat sink into my skin.
I know if it had been his warmth instead of the sun's it wouldn't have felt like burning.

It would have heated my body up from the inside out. Starting from my stomach as fields of silk spread through my essence.

In the way that I burned, I noticed his absence.
SummerAtNight Jul 2019
We are in a tall long carpeted room. With blue shadows casted in the dim light. I know he's here because I can hear the sound of his deep soothing voice. But I can't see him. I keep walking towards it. It's saying my name and telling me stories and he doesn't seem to notice that we are locked somewhere within what looks like the bottom of the ocean. Or that I can't see him.
           There's a floor to ceiling glass barrier that when you look up looks like it goes on for miles. As I walk slowly, cautiously, to the music of his laugh I run my fingers along the glass leaving cloudy stripes. And then I see him. On the other side of the crystal wall. He's still speaking to me. His whole face lights up when he notices I'm there. I'm so relieved I could cry. I beg him to tell me what's going on. To hold me close. To find someway out of this.
           He shakes his head no and sits down with his legs crossed and his hands on his knees. It creates the effect of a meditative state and I cannot for the life of me fathom how he's so calm. He gestures for me to do the same. I can't do much else but follow. Wait he tells me. I must have patience and everything will turn out so beautiful. But I'm impatient. I'm impatient and unfortunately believe there's a way out of everything. I stare up at the ceiling. Only, I can't see where it ends. I'm starting to realize the only way passed this glass is to break it.
          So I stand to my feet and bang my hands against it till I have nothing left. Until I'm in tears. When I turn my back and slide to the floor I can feel how this hurts him. It makes me afraid. Makes me afraid that he thinks I want him to bad. He simply has to walk away into whatever lies beyond the other side of the barrier and I'll be in this purgatory for the rest of my life. I'm almost sure he's done just that. So
I have to check. I brace myself for the worst. I turn towards where he was last. But he's still there. He raises his hand to the glass and tells me he's sorry, and that he loves me. That it's him and I against the world. That he's never loved anyone like he's loved me.
             That gives me the strength I need. He's what I want. What I've always wanted. He's my future. The father to my children. The man I want to wake up to In the morning. But he's behind a veil. So he just tells me to wait.
           So I do. I sit across from him and we talk. His voice echoes in the dark aquarium. But I hear him clearly. I fall in love with his stories and the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles at me. Only at me I've noticed. Nothing else makes his eyes smile like that.
       I sit and we talk for what seems like years. And finally I go silent. I stare at the beautiful black curls stroking his forehead and the constellation of freckles on his cheeks that had become my night sky. As I let my eyes go unfocused I saw the slight reflection of my face in the now fading foggy glass. It was filled with panic and worry, and a great sadness. But as the water came and washed away the remnants of breathe on glass I saw his face. And I understood. He knew we were underground. It hurts him that he is so close to touching my fingertips. But he has something I don't, he points behind me. I turn around and there it was, the reason for the constant smile on his face. A timer was counting down on the wall in glowing red light. He knows that when it reaches zero he can save me from myself. I won't ever have to beg him to love me on dark nights listening to his voice. I'll simply turn over and show him I love him much more than he could ever imagine.
SummerAtNight Jul 2019
She'll open her legs
But soon she
It needs more
The creature
Straight for her heart
But it's in his hands.
Glass edges make art
It crumbles to sand
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