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Ng Shang-I Feb 9
I don't know what to feel anymore,
Socialising with people became more of a chore,
I don't want to feel this anymore.

Happy for the day but when the night comes?
Everything that I'm scared of, jumps.
At me, I don't want to be.
Unhappy anymore, what am I doing this for?
All I want is someone who understands,
What a monster that I am.
And someone who can understand.

All I need is a little guidance,
These emotions I am blinded,
All I want is happiness.
All I want is that I'm happy,
and be a little kinder.
These emotions I am blinded.
Hopefully one day I will be happy and be a little kinder.
Ng Shang-I Feb 9
I've became so hopeful today,
I've started to love on this day,
The world is beautiful when I'm this way.

I've became so hopeful,
I see so many people who are helpful,
When I'm this way the world is so beautiful.

Tonight, I feel so helpless.
I don't want to think why I feel like this.
Tonight, I lose my touch with how I felt first.
Ng Shang-I Jan 21
Today, the love of my life left me.
Am I sad? I don't know.
I tried to hide myself and not let it affect me.
Am I okay? I don't know.

Today, I decided that it's time to grow up.
Do I really want to? I don't know.
Time doesn't stop, the older I get the more I want to give up.
Will I really give in? I don't know.

Today, my heart ached as I think about the mistakes that I made.
Why do I do this? I don't know.
I felt tears in my eyes but I forgot how to cry.
What is this feeling? I don't know.
Ng Shang-I Oct 2018
If it weren't for you, where would I be?
Taking care of me always even when I sleep.
Tough luck for me but fate brought you to me.
Always being there for me, thought that you would flee.
I'm cursed but I'm blessed, with a friend like you.
What would I do without you, taking away my blues.
Don't for a second think that you're being used, you're the reason for this; you're my muse.
Thank you for being there at my lowest, if I was a song you'll be the chorus.
You're always doing things not for yourself, but for us.
People come and go but I want you to stay.
You're the only one who can help me through this maze.
True friend
Ng Shang-I Oct 2018
Hello old friend, its been a while.
I know you never left, felt your presence though it was mild.
I honestly can't do this anymore but I can't stand you leaving me.
This contradiction is killing me, this darkness inside of me.
You always contribute to my self hate, but you're hardly the one to be blamed.
I know alcohol helps with keeping you at bay, throw all my problems away.
Once I'm sober, you'll return and the cycle continues. I'm trying to leave you, I'm really trying to.
Depression oh depression my old friend, who am I kidding?
You'll always be there for me, this is only the beginning.

— The End —