In sleepless nights I lie awake,
Thinking about dying and lying in a wake,
Fearing the cold void that might await.

In sleepless nights I lie awake,
What peace would be like, to finally rest,
Thinking of the eternal slumber that awaits.

In sleepless nights I lie awake,
Tired and weary, sad and in misery,
Wondering when the day would get better.

In sleepless nights I lie awake,
Haunted by the memories of loved one's who've passed.

In sleepless nights I lie awake,
Reminiscing of the past, of the sweet precious memories that keeps out the dark.

In sleepless nights I lie awake,
Thankful I made it through the day,
Without falling apart and breaking away.

In sleepless nights I would continue to lie awake,
And stare at the ceiling in the dark,
Until Morpheus comes to take me away.

Feeling down feeling sad?
Feeling hopeless and in despair?
Feeling overwhelmed from everyday life,
Well I have a solution to make it right.
Follow my advice and be at peace,
For all you have to do is take your life.
I know what you're thinking at first,"That's insane"
But i twist your mind and make you believe,
A way out through suicide.
All you have to do is listen to me and believe in these steps,
These steps to feeling fine.

One, Life is a drag a bottom less pit,with no pleasure or joy in it, I feed you these words day and night,until you believe it without a doubt.

Two, You try to tell yourself it will work out in the end but i whisper in your other ear the suffering won't end.

Three, I keep you distant from family and friends,from much needed help that could save you.
Four, Your concentration is gone focus is impossible and I’ve deprived you of your self esteem.
Five, Everything has become hopeless and there's no way to feel better and I say to myself what a great job i've done.
Six, You lose your appetite,you cannot sleep,all of life's activities have dulled you,things that bring you joy and cheer are gone as i have robbed you.

Seven, You then can see only one end,one way to end the pain,you take aim and fire away,while thinking you've escaped the pain.

But what you didn't know was that the pain did not go away,
It now lives in the people you have left.
Now its up to me to start again
It has been a pleasure
Sincerely Mr Depression.

I now understand how he feels,
why he acts as he does,
God its an awful feeling, like drowning in the ocean with waves crushing down on you, while you slowly sink, the light fading out, while you sink so helplessly
So you take to the bottle and pills,
to ever so slightly numb the pain,
to not feel for a while, to forget even for just a moment, to be blissful and carefree.
For the moment it wears off you remember the pain and heartache as it wraps around your heart,
You hold back tears fighting to stay in one piece
But everyday, every moment becomes your worst nightmare you step closer and closer to the void, towards self destruction,
While you scream internally for help, "Please someone save me", but alas its too late, and you whisper goodbye cruel world and accept your fate.

She was sad,
She was blue,
She was tired and in gloom,
She felt sick, so powerless.
To take a break was what she needed,
Rest was a longing she had,
But alas she couldn't last,
A day without her lips between the cigarettes,
For it wasn't just a habit she kept,
It was an escape from the tensions of life
And so it became a habit she just could not break,
To be better was what she wanted,
But better was something she did not understand,
She spent her better days, crying alone
Her muffled face beneath the pillow,
Wondering how it went so wrong,
How she had drowned in her own sorrow.

Downcast and under,
I am writing from 10 feet under,
Rotting away beneath the life above,
I wonder what others would make of me now that I'm under.
Of what stories would be said of what tales would be told of me,
Even though I'm dead the thought breathes life to me.
In what light would they cast me, good or bad,
Portray me a Saint or maybe a sinner or,
Perhaps maybe something in between, a flawed person like everyone else.
Or maybe they would just forget me and the place I rest
Now that would be sad, a sad though to have,
For family and friends to forget you after you're dead.
Having your grave strewn with leaves
A desolate place with not a soul to give care to clean.
Not a single soul to reminisce a memory of you
Nothing but a forgotten friend, a loved one left behind.

My bones creak as the maggots eat my flesh
What an unsightly thing it would be if I wasn't dead.
Such a small space to be confined in below dirt ground
I can hear my fellow dead neighbours moaning across from me below ground
Perhaps they too find their final resting place cramped and dark.
I can hear it, the world above,
People passing by, to visit their loved ones who've passed,
But alas for me, I remain alone
None to visit with flowers nor yo speak words of care.
I have been here alone since they laid me to rest
My family my friends, none have shown up so far
Perhaps I'm to slumber alone for eternity in darkness, ten feet under.

Have you ever fought back tears
Trying to stay strong,
Well I have

Have you ever gone to sleep
Hoping to die in your slumber,
Well I have.

Have you ever had pieces chipped off you everyday
That makes you feel less of a person,
Well I have.

Have you ever prayed to God
To take your life,just so the pain could stop,
Well I have.

Have you ever had a muffled cry
Holding yourself back,just so you don't break and fall apart,
Well I have.

Have you ever been disgusted by yourself
On your cowardice to fight back,
Well I have.

Have you ever known what it is like to be broken and shattered
Only to repeat it the next day,
Well I have.

Have you ever sat in the darkness black
Having dark thoughts, contemplating on ending the pain.
Well I have.

Have you ever found hope
Only for it to be snatched away and snuffed out in the dark,
Well I have.

Have you looked to each day with a renewd resolve to face obstacles,
Well.......... Im not so sure,not anymore.

If I am to wake up one day
In the same body but different mind,
Do not weep as I won't understand why.

If I am to wake up one day
With part of me gone,
Hold me close and hold me dear
For who I was before is gone.

If I am to wake up one day
Without any recollection of past memories so sweet and dear,
Judge me not so harshly,for I am not here.

If I am to wake up one day
Only for you to brave this alone,
Forgive me,for i can't be there to hold you close.

If you were to wake up to this one day
Know this and keep it in your heart,
That I love you,even if I can't remember.

For this will be a moment,
That will test patience and love against all odds.

For if this comes to pass one day
Then sadly it would be goodbye,
For I won't wake up on that day.

I'm not okay.
Life so far, has been hard and complicated
But that's okay
I've been tossed and turned, battered and bruised
But that's ok
Like a worn out rag I've been torn to pieces and shredded  to bits
But that's ok
My life is filled with regrets
Choices I've made and the ones I didn't
But that's okay
I feel helpless and hopeless at times
Scared and unsure of what the future holds
But that's okay
Life has never been kind to me and probably never will be
But that's okay
My life is filled with scars, painful memories and tears
Because after all these things
At the end, you learn to lie and paint a smile
And say I'm okay

I try my hardest my very best,
To try to think and write
To convey my happiness in words
But I can't seem to do it.
All that I see is but a blank space
Have i forgotten what it's like,
Have I forgotten what happiness is
If that's who I am now
What a contemptible life I live
I wonder would I ever be able to remember.

If time was a place,
I'd meet you there..
To see you one last time,
And say I'm sorry

What is love?

I guess it's like the feeling of soft grass and earth on your feet
With the buzzing of bees and the songs of birds,
The flowers in bloom, painting places in colorful tones.
The time when the world awakens from death, It breaths life back to things, in the midst of the breeze of spring.


I reckon it is to feel the warmth of the sun on the tip of your skin, shining a great hue of yellow.
It symbolising the adventurous and daring nature of youth
The time of waking up into infinite potential,
I dare say tends to bring out in people the summer fun.


Maybe it's like the changing of leaves,
When they brown and fall of trees,
Painting the whole place orange
And it, marking the transformation into something new,
The fall marks life anew.


Or perhaps,
The time when all things sit still,
When all lies dormant
Winter to people seems harsh, frigid and cold
But people seem to forget,
For all things if to start over, must first end
And In winter lies the beginning of things, in it lies the promise of spring

Let me dance my fingers on the black and white ivory
Glancing once in while to see
You sitting close to me
With you staring out, watching the blue sky
Singing along to the movement of my fingers
With a voice as clear as winter
But sweet like the spring
You smile as my fingers glide across
Your smile brings the summer warmth
This moment this piano this song
Your voice your smile your eyes
Makes me feel lucky to be alive
Makes me feel like I'm in paradise.

I no longer want to be here
But I'm too scared to die
I can't come to terms with life
Yet I can't do what is necessary to end it outright

I pushed the people I loved afar
I shoved people who cared away
I backed myself into a corner
Where my only company is despair
Maybe I thought it would hurt less for them
If they became strangers, instead of family and friends

Tell me lass
And speak true
Tell me how one falls out of love with their other
Because to fall in is one thing but to fall out is another
To wake up to a numb heart
To unlove someone suddenly
Tell me, what you were feeling
Tell me was it easy, was it hard
Tell me what you felt, when you broke their heart
How did love escape from you
Did it gradually fade like a dimming light
Or was it lost quick and rapid like the tides
That the someone in your life became a complete stranger
How hard was it for you to sever
What you had between the two of you
Did past memories together make it harder
Or was it just easy all the same and smooth like butter
Forgive me for asking all this
Because the thought of it is perplexing, vexing
For many more would fall in love
Only to hit the ground and shatter

I'm sorry, i meant well
I never intended to hurt you, but I did
I thought I was only helping, I guess I was wrong.
I only meant to guide and help,
Not burn down what you had going on
If only i could go back
I would stop myself
From entering your life,
I'd steer my gaze off, and walk out of your life
It would have saved you from much hurt
And me from the guilt that chains me down
I thought I'd be the person to help others with their burden
But I was just a monster hiding in the dark
Everything I touch burns down and crumbles
I guess it's true what they say
The path to hell is paved with good intentions
I'll be going there now, this is goodbye
And even though late, if its worth any,
I'm sorry.