My being feels flat

How do I tell you?

In the void of you are feelings
screaming your name

How do I tell you?

I'd like to watch the stars
die and reborn again

How do I tell you

There is you and mountains
laying worlds apart

How do I tell you?

But I don't think you'd care

I have tasted madness
I have lost my mind

most of us are lonely

I long for warmth
Dream of a distant place
Where fire lights the room
Sweet tea eases my soul
And your company
A sure home
For my sweetest escape
Days and nights
Under endless blues
Turned dark that glitters
Through perpetual starlight
We’d laugh and talk
Of silly daydreams
And fearless thoughts
Your hand into mine  
Your arms my safest retreat
I’d lay there forever
Somewhere within hidden
In the warmth of you

So much I've wrote
So little I assume
I still try to learn
To love me in paper
So much I am inside
But out
Nothing is coming
I've lost me sounds
To language
I've lost me form
In trying to be
But I am only human
Too heavy
Too human
I make no sense
In my own self

I thought of you tonight
I think of you forever
I'll hold you dear in my head
and care for you in silence
For now you cannot see
And so much you refuse to be
Of so much you could become
And so much I see you in you
I know best that you are not
Anyone with special traits
Much more than less
A human out of its shape
What you learned you can leave
If only by rage you decide
Tonight is yet again
A reminiscence
Of what is past and gone
I'll keep you close in sleep
Reach your humanity in thoughts
  
Qu'un jour je t'atteigne
              Que par tendresse
           *Tu te trouves

So reach out to me before
I cut myself off of this world
I be-gone
I cut myself off of words
bring me out of the blue
It's all dark ahead now
and waves will guide me through
I sway I swing I will stay
I will lose myself away
And soon enough
I will eat myself whole
I will consume me flesh
And will feel anew