I fear that I will always
belong to him,
even though he doesn't
belong to me.
I fear for the day I hear
his name and think
of all the galaxies
and stars in the sky,
while my heart beats fast
and my chest turns red,
but I have to wonder where
he might be in the world.
And I know that when he
hears my name,
he'll only think of
his list he had
in college
and which number
he called first.
I don't know
what point I fell in love
with him,
but I do know that
I swear for a second
when I was driving him home,
and he were drunk,
he asked me if we
were anything, and I wanted
so badly to say "I wish",
but I looked at him
and laughed
while saying no,
thinking maybe in
his head he wished
I would have said
yes, but
he didn't argue it.
I know years
from now
I'll always
want another
to be
him.