please
give me the time
a humble request
but always denied
a chosen deity whose face replaced
the one from before who has since been disgraced
mangled and broken wings clipped due to fear
an angel once mighty now bound to us here
blessed with the gift of a terrible curse
whatever made me follow was never rehearsed
and I'm forever still searching for nothing I know
golden opportunities I was forced to let go
but more so over I just wish that I knew
why I was abandoned by Truth
fix me if you can for I've come unglued
not broken anymore but pieced together without clues

I have asked a question for so long I forget what it was
I think it started differently than where it is now
it haunts my tongue and stays on my mind
I can't quite put it into words just yet
I want to push more than I am
I cant gain traction here
in my frozen mind
unknown hour
golden war
never
oh

I cast a wary gaze on dreary days
Wishing she could hear me
With lifted eyes on the cloudy skies
That float forever near me
Holding broken lines of broken time
Hoping to catch a glimpse
In a ***** mirror something superior
But cant even if I squint

The rain beats down
My clothes grow heavy
My head is hard to lift
Broken glass
Lay in my chest
My mind wet red brick
I forget my name
And who I was
Before I felt the shift

Everyone has a flight or fight reaction but I just tend to freeze
I hope they hear my jagged breath when I try to breathe
The fight inside has torn my mind more than they can
and the more I fly from the fight the less I understand
so freeze me in this immortal struggle and take me as I come
I'm afraid I cannot change and if I do I may come undone

Please let me lose
Lose the ability to breathe
Or the ability to see
The will to keep fighting
This overbearing sea
I want a reason to exist
Or quite the opposite
I want to ******* die
But i dont want to quit
I want to finally be done
with all of this ****
Like theres still a reason for any of it
Please give me a simple way out
A train to derail and hit me in the mouth
Why cant i head north
when everything goes south
I'm lost in space while sitting on the couch
And its not my ******* fault
but i cant catch myself when i fall
I'm climbing up walls
I'm afraid are to tall
I built inside my head when i lost it all

All work and no play
seems to make up my days
as I slave away
to a concaved system of change
I wanted to grow up until I didn't
and there's a demon on my shoulder just sitting
making my outlook is bleak which is fitting
but don't mind me he claims I'm just sipping
a drink to help me think
as I blink
the world fades
into a stage
a masquerade
where we all stay
in the void
it's a ploy
that we convince ourselves is fine
if I had a dime
for every time
that I claimed I could fly
I would lift my wings and do so

I've never ridden one
but I am familiar with Camels

I've never been there
but I see Hell when I close my eyes

you don't see me
but I wish you would move out of my mind

please just go
the closer you get the further away you feel

I still talk to myself
the more I do the more I understand

you don't know me now
but I don't think you ever tried