Sannie

Sannie Jan 2016

I can still see the marks of your skates in the ice,
right now I'm standing in one of the round ones.
Where you turned faster and faster,
until you had to be catched from falling.

Until your glowing eyes where filled with tears,
tears from pain and tears from joy.
But mostly tears of the icy wind that blew you away
into the snow I go, you said.

I can still see the dapple of coffee on your favorite sofa
right now I'm sitting next to it.
still smelling the savor, still hearing the way you laughed so hard,
until you had to be safed from choking.

Until your glowing eyes where filled with tears,
tears from pain and tears from joy.
But mostly tears of laughter,
laughter that still echoes through the room.

Into the snow I go, you said.
And so you went, leaving me a true
winter paradise.

Sannie Oct 2015

Daddy

Daddy, why won't you talk to me?
Did I do something wrong?
Am I not worthy of your affection?
Is it because I still love my Mommy?
Or is it because I have said no to you for the first time, while you have said no to me a thousand times before?
Maybe I am not smart enough...
Or not pretty enough...

Daddy please, why am I not good enough?
What did I say to make you hate me like that?
Can I make it up to you?
Can I see you, can I hug you ?
I haven't seen you in a while
We haven't spoken for a while
You stopped loving me since a while

Daddy I am done now
I won't ask you these things ever again
Because daddy I don't want to feel this anymore.
I will keep crying and hurting.
And I will never stop loving or caring.
But from now on, I will stop asking.

Sannie Sep 2015

perfect

it may sound weird what I am about to say, but I have met someone who is perfect in every single way.
he plays piano and guitar and likes good music.
he doesn't care about brands and money.
he loves reading and writing.
he's the male version of me.
and yet I don't want him as much as I'd expect

Sannie Sep 2015

College

here I go, off to another journey .
off to one of the many pieces of the world, that I have yet to discover.

here I will make friends and enemies,
and i will wrestle myself trough yet another cocoon.
so that in 3 years,
I leave and my wings will have grown bigger.

I am ready

SO NERVOUS MONDAY WILL BE MY FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE QJAHSUHWHW

Aug 2015

Amanda In Scarlet

The Gardener and The Seed

When they buried me in the dark, I was frightened.
I didn’t like the taste of earth.
And I was so thirsty.
Some people are no good with plants,
Even the hardiest shrubs
Wither and wilt in their careless hands.
You aren’t one of them.
When no-one else could see,
You took such good care of me.
Water, warmth and love.
These are my needs, but I had no voice
With which to ask; without you
I would have remained inert
A lost life, in the dirt.
See now, how I blossom?
Just a shoot, but I will astound them all
With my beauty, in time.
Thank you for caring for me,
Thank you for helping me to grow.

For my Agent of Fortune, Paul M Chafer.

#love #life #friendship #help #growth #thanks #lovefest-contest

Sannie Aug 2015

Better

I almost kills me to say,
but I feel better now.
I'm not crying myself to sleep anymore,
I can talk about you without tearing up.

It almost feels like I am betraying you,
for being happy without you...
But I deserve to be happy,
and some day maybe you'll think so too.

Maybe some day you'll feel better too.

#love #pain #betrayal #lost #hurt