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This notebook and I share a secret,
which I will never reveal.

This notebook, on the other hand,
has at times sleighted me slightly.

This notebook is not to be trusted,
for if I trust it, I may be betrayed.

This notebook and I share a secret;
it will never be told lest I talk.
Thanks to all the readers!
Pain was the only way she knew how to be

Pain was the only thing she knew
The only constant in her life
The only company she had
So she embraced it
Till one day it was too much
for her to bear

The moon got used to the sounds
Every night,
the weeping
Tears were all she had

Another night came
but this time
the sounds are gone
and so is she
Sometimes the pain is too much, and you are left with just one choice that is giving up.
 Aug 2014 AJ Mayfield
Sjr1000
We've become a
civilization of diseases
we build
monuments
statues
institutions
thinking death won't ever find
us here.

Our minds are scrambled
our bodies are damaged
our food is poisoned
our skies are toxic
our vices
are forces of processes
beyond our
control.

When we are not humbled
by nature's power
we inflict our wounds
upon ourselves in
the names of greed
and self protection
and no one knows
what it really means.

Fearful of the silence
we fill our skies with
endless noise
babbling on in endless
monotones, droning
while traffic stalls
at a hot stand still
idling engines
idling souls
depletion of every last glimpse
of the past.
Jam packed
in the stench
I am lost today
in
this vitriol
as anxiety, death and desperation
from every corner
screams my name.

That's why I came
to these woods
where the illusion of
peace remains
as
wild fires burn
just down the lane
as you know
as you say
its always been this way
when bodies hung
at every cross-roads
hunger, power, ignorance
and strength
all ran
the show.

I'm sick with
every disease I
know.

I float upon these tranquil
blue waters
and
we are reminded of the peace we all
really can know.
The trees shaded from the sun, the acts that could not be undone
Heaven turned its head, while all the Angels were playing dead
What sin has come upon us, what truths can we not bare
What foot prints erased their own steps, which put me here while you are there
You see I believe that love is stupid, at least that's what I used to say
Till he put his arms around me, that fateful October day
Love and marriage and foolish games, not for a girl like me
I am the dreamer from the darkest corners, the Poet from the defying sea
So what now has come upon me, had taken me by surprise
You see I left his heart in ruins, burning in the ashes of our lies
His love had taken me by force, but of the most gentle of all winds
Each and every time he claimed my body, I begged to be claimed again
Until the day Heaven turned its head, while the clouds made way for this hateful storm
While the eulogy was read, not a soul on earth didn't mourn
All except the Angels, buts that's because they still believed
That though time itself had broken, he'd find his way back to me
His words came to me in whispers, telling me tales of Come What May
He held tighter as I released, saying there was something he'd forgotten to say
Winds have shifted in my soul, called in to question my every belief
Though I've traveled many miles, he still holds every piece of me
My laughter was left behind, my sleep still sleeps in his bed
I forgot my dreams upon our door step, my heart along the path we once tread
My smile in the night, the night we counted stars
And inside him I left my soul, my every pain, and all our scars
The moon seems to be telling secrets, while Jupiter is telling lies
Venus is seeking revenge, attempting to realign our skies
I have sought the whole thing out, merely a victim in his dangerous game
I am the homicide no one noticed, the dead body that no one will claim
Though I declared I thought love foolish! Yet in this tragedy I play the main part
Its my soul come unraveled, it is my existence being taken apart
Alas, the dam has broken, and the tides have come rushing in
Seeking out their vengeance, proclaiming redemption for your sin
The sin Heaven refused to watch, while the Angels they all played dead
One by one they rose again with every word he now has said
If love is indeed so foolish, then I have become his fool
My body becomes his landscape, my heart still his to rule
Rule wisely though I warn! Don't make light of these directions
I will not die twice, or drown yet again in the raging flood of misconceptions
Love is a fools game. Not meant for the witty and wise
Why then is the only place I call home found when I look in his eyes
I hate the Faery tales we tell, I hate every song that we all always sing
I detest of the veils, and the flowers and such, I despise the feel of a ring
And yet and yet...and thus and thus...my truth sits idly by
While he still is my every raindrop, his love still every star in my sky
And yet and yet...and thus and thus... I think this may be bigger than I can perceive
God cast me in the role of his Poet, and he cast him in the role of my sea
Only by God do seas ever part, what He's joined can not be undone
The moon has no claim in his place in the night, the light determines not the rise of the sun
I had soaked my heart in bleach, taken toxin to erase memories
I pulled the shades to the light of the moon, I threw oil into your seas
Just leave me with my broken heart! Alas these words I screamed
They echoed back my own sound from the depths of his heart, my refusal to his ring
I cursed the day in October, removed its place from within my year
I pretended to never think once of him, I denied myself every tear
Until.... There was something he'd forgotten to say
Words I must hear Come What May
All at once I'd forgotten my story, all at once I went back to that day
A day within October, not as erased as I may have once thought
The Angels had all awoken, the planets they all had fought
You can not take away the light of the moon, thus morning would come too soon
Should the kingdom of hearts fall to the ground, we would all come to our ruin
I'm foolishly his fool, as his pain seeks only for me
We are in fact the undoing of time... I the Poet and he my Sea

— The End —