I lost it last night
I cried and I kicked

I hit my mirror
I screamed in my pillow

I threw everything off my bed
I knocked things off my stand

And soon enough there it was
Sitting in my hand

And what did I do with it?
I made the wrong choice.

I pace back and forth down the hall past his classroom,
I peer in and hesitantly take a step inside
The moment our eyes meet I look away and stop myself

My finger tips linger near the keyboard on the screen,
I type up a paragraph, as my hands shake slightly
Only to delete the whole thing with one touch

I see him at the end of the day and he asks what's wrong
I open my mouth to speak, and then shut it
My struggle remains internalized

I don't have the heart to say what's wrong,
I don't have the heart to ask for help,

To think I spend so many hours wondering if you're alright
How many hours I've put into making sure you know
That you are loved, you are cared for, you are good, you are valuable
And after all of the **** I have seen and been through,
You think it's annoying I complain?
Even though I rarely do.
Even though I hold everything in until it hurts my insides
You think it's annoying I complain?
Why else didn't you answer my question?
No wonder I stopped telling you what's wrong with me.
I guess I sensed your dissatisfaction with my venting.
And now
*Now I have no one