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A#1. things I ll probably go to hell for:

I went to the movie theater
sat in the balcony

I had a huge rubber spider
on 40 feet of clear fishing line

I tossed it out
and slowly dragged the spider
across and over the rows of seats...

it was a wave of people rising
jumping up
row after row
men pretended bravery,
the women screamed.. every one ran
out the exit doors.

soon I was the only one in the theater
smoked a joint
(great movie, too)

( ****, I still enjoy the hell out of it!**)

PART 2.

what are you
probably going to...for
the river has no voice.
blue sky no heart.
the swan trumpeting
in the black of night. my soul

longs to be far out
lost in the vastness of ocean.
nothing but rolling waves, grey dark sea.

(no mercy
from the swan's sad song.)

I want to vanish in a cabin in the woods
away from people

and caught on the dock at the lake
in the pouring rain,
i beg the rain,

she's crying
to me
to come to her.

heart of rain,
black phantom born of sorrow, wings whirr,
vanishing into the hush of night,
wings grow distant in flight.

the black swan a ghost light flickering.
she is the echo of every sad goodbye.
theres no wrong answer
to what poetry is.

"poetry is rhyming"

wrong.
there is actually a
wrong
answer.

poems are little windows,
a view inside
someones head.

it doesn't have to rhyme,
it doesn't always have to provoke
feelings.

its just words,
that are there
to help
*someone
date wrote: 18/8
dislike this one but idk
when someone asks me my talents
am i allowed to say them, even though i don't excel?
i sing good, but im not amazing
i play guitar, but i can't play certain chords
i play tennis well, but i still double fault a lot
im ok at writing, but im no poet
im a good person
but apparently not a great one
I want to excel
my friends come to me for advice,
come to me to vent, help with their problems.
but sometimes I feel like I'm the one who needs my advice most.

it's a teachers job to make sure their students are okay,
but the students never check on the teacher.
im the happy friend.
Why do I fall for so many people,
But no one falls for me?
Is it just me not being able to express it,
Or when you see me you want to take the express way?
Is it me talking a lot,
Or you talking to others about me?
And not positively.
I may get portrayed as the crazy one,
But all I want to get portrayed as is someone's love.
Why am I so different? Am I undeserving?
Its not specifics anymore.
Is it just me completely?
Because you all have just completely ignored me.
you know.
...
sometimes a few words
can make a real
difference
in someones
life.
date wrote: 18/8
beep
Running from what?
     The what ifs,
The what’s not?

  The past wrapped up your heart,
In heavy wet cloth,
         Memories in shackles shape.  

A fist of madness shakes you lifeless.
Lays you dead
      On the breath of a brand new dawn.

Each new thought-
    ready
boundless,
   Free!

But Less sure,
        Less sure than the last.

Why can’t we just live **
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