A fair-weather friend
No care clever
Comes back again

Life goes black — guillotine
If happiness lacks — fear indeed

Digs up the seed
You cry and plead
A non-religious creed
Claims you impede

But all connection is artificial
Not a thing is crystal
Clear that true connection may be sincere

“STAY AWAY!”

Maybe It’s fear
A frightening reflection of sobbing tension in your mirror
Lightening conviction and they’re nowhere near

Making amends — forever against
Never friends — ongoingly tense

Dread soothing blood red
Be careful where you tread

And be wary of a fair-weather friend

Sick beyond repair
Quick to find despair
Unprepared and perpetually scared

                                              Nobody cares…

Of free will and intent?
Impossible—Creed’s quill inquires to how sadness is sent
Minds invent what we seek to prevent

Immensely powerful
Silent yet loud as hell
Indistinguishable to the outside world

Preventable pain?

                                         Worthless piece of—

“SHUT UP!”

Only voices of malicious disdain
Vivid out and inside your brain

Then other people start to complain
Barely aware friends flee and place the blame
Deemed insane for an uncontrollable pain
Fight to get better but it’s all in vain

Why fight it? Jump in front of that train, splat-crack and your blood
                                                    can drain.

And it’s scary

                                  No, it’s not, you're just a *****.

“Woah!” I exclaim. “Don’t be so derogatory.”

                                                I’m not sorry.

Always take care of yourself
Just don’t put words in my mouth

There are already enough scheming to get out

Crying eyes
Never dries
Forever masked by my devilish disguise

Time and repeat again

Closing distance
Beyond the blur
Intrusive screams and seething slurs
Makes no difference

Time and repeat again

Fleeting retreat
I’m in too deep
Tear tattered sheets
Just following trends

Time and repeat again

Hoping for miracles
Choking on eerie tolls
All in my head
Tearing full — unaware (and repeat) I tread

Time and repeat again

Subsiding pain but repeat I’m drained
Infinite circle —  REPEAT! I’m drained
And again and time and repeat

Crying eyes

Am I sorry for my pain?

Insisting it breeds
Persisting I flee
My brain barred within festering inquiries

Please…

I fumble with an uncontrollable external internal
I crumble as darkness outweighs ever impending nothingness
And I chase after bliss

Am I sorry for my pain?

Looking for light
Bottling fireflies by night
I gaze above—Moon. Stars. Satellite?  

Fazed by love
Yet blazing blood
Causing craze in floods

Maintaining glance
Chained in trance
Craving chance

Am I sorry for my pain?

It takes time to change
Look after yourself while I’m deranged
Fostering pessimism is less than vain
Guessing system—now who’s insane?
Just watch where you place the blame

I’ll never be sorry for my pain