Tonight.
Where the hell am I?
what's going on?
I can't tell anymore. I feel like I'm in the middle of a spiraling atmosphere. I sink into the couch like a black hole and stick there, smiling at passersby as they look at me and smile in confusion and disconnect of my thoughts
Smile no more, I'm uninterested in petty conversation, don't feel like cutely arguing with the brunette by the grandfather clock, spilling whatever's in her cup on her bra, forcing looks from perverse passersby. I'd rather be chilling on the computer typing a poem in the middle of the dark in a room with no furniture and listening to music that I can't relate to.
Smiling at the crowd as my spirit warms enough to politely leave, I stand up and blink. Immediately, the vision of the crowd disperses, I see nothing but the light emitting from the laptop on the floor. I look around, blinking more.
Where did they go?
Where am I?
I'm back to the start, back in my unfurnished room, alone in the dark as the street lights shine in through the cracked blinds. I shake my head in realization. It was a mirage, nothing happened, all of my insistence on leaving was for an event that never happened.
I shrink to the floor and lie down,hand on my head in frustration. I want the scene, I want to want to leave from somewhere rather than not be anywhere. So I pick up the laptop and tap a few keys, sending me to lover's land as I effortlessly type more and more of stories long forgotten. I wish It would stop, wish I could stop loathing in self-withdrawal and become more than I feel.
**** these visions, **** these thoughts, let me slip past them and get comfortable, let go of my mind and allow me to become less concerned, let me be lonely in mind again.
Leave.

I fell in love with a profile and a personal text, does that make me weak? I fell in love with a personality rather than a person, does that make me a statistic?
I’ve never been able to form a real physical bond, yet I’m intimate with intimacy, I’m contained by caresses and blessed and blissed within a warm kiss.
I’ve wanted love from you for a while, kiss the forehead, munch the lips, tasting the love spawned physically between us. What would you think of me if you knew?
What would you say if I kissed you right now, locking lips with my love and making a show of stroking your long black hair? What would you say if I told you I loved you and wanted what was best for you? Would you listen to me, love, would you?
I long to be heard by you. Apple cinnamon, sugar sweet, so sweet to bring a pain to the heart of a double-crosser, so sweet as to bring any man to his knees in submission to you: a ghostly figure, luminous dark eyes, yellowish pearls as teeth, body fit for who it was meant, and a love as strong as the chemistry that keeps our hearts pumping and our minds alive and well.
I want you, I desire  you, I am in a state of infatuation so deep under myself it gets hard to breathe, but the only one who can help me out of this hole is you.
Let me be your poet, I’ll lust you in words oh sweet as to instantly cause cavities.
Let me be your infatuation, I light a spark in your heart and tend it until it roars into a flame, then into a fire, a fire as hot as to melt the shackles around you, around your soul.
Let me be your love. This I beg of you. I want to be your everything, your anything. I want my name to be synonymous with “heart”, I want to cause jamborees and jubilees in your mind by simply saying the phrase I’ve meant for so long to say.
I love you.
I do love you, so let me. Let me be the light in the dark tunnel. I don’t mean to open this to interpretation, I only mean to pray to be around and help you through.
Let me love you, let me love you, let me love you. Sitting as I am, with my mind in disarray, this phrase is all I can repeat.
I am bare, love, and you clothe me.
I am pained, love, and you heal me.
But I am lonely, and as of this moment, I anticipate your cure once more.

An association of two souls that makes them feel less vulnerable to the outside world. It's a different type of commitment to musiq soulchild, but some take it further.
Will you ever marry a buddy? Depends on who she is, what her motives are, and what yours are.
think hard, who is your real buddy? What do they want? Are they worthy to be yours? Are you worthy to be theirs?