Yes,
I knew it was coming.
No,
I wasn't ready.

Dear friends,
Now I must ask a favor.
A poetry contest is under way,
$100 dollars worth of books at stake,
The entry?
A poem about that for which I am grateful.
This means a lot,
Oh, Nerd I am!
Please follow this link and vote:
https://woobox.com/cr2p7k/gallery/IDjHt_wy23E
My deepest gratitude you would have!

It seemed like the world would go on forever,
Stretching past the horizon
As his mouth formed the words
"You have Bipolar disorder."
In that moment,
The air froze,
And time stopped.
Suddenly the atoms were abuzz again.
I knew
He was right.

And then the brain chemist spilled
An entire bottle of hypomania
Into the *** of depression.
Hell has many names.

My greatest wish
Is that one day someone will love me,
Not for what I can give them,
But because I have intrinsic value myself.
My greatest wish is that one day
My story will not be too much
But just the right amount
Of ME.

The moment she says,
"Me too,"
The air evaporates from my chest.
My shoulders slump.
The weariness eases.
Sometimes connection
Is the best medicine.
I tell her she's found a friend in me.

Sometimes,
I see the image of you in your white night gown,
Back at rigid attention as you binge watched
The same TV show for the second time that week,
So little life in you despite your posture.
I'm reminded of that terrible nagging feeling
That I really should turn around and walk back in,
Say something new and better,
Hug you tighter,
But I am late to the airport,
So I don't.
A month and a half later,
You were gone.
How I really wish
I'd missed my plane that day.