Il be happy
My days are ******
I’m always sobbing , whining
Il be happy
Hoping bright
For a future where I belong and treated lovely
As for now il keep my self open
Loving my family
Knowing someday il have a second that Arnt disrespectful
Where I am welcomed
Adored and all adventure
Il be happy
Waiting patiently
As for now

I Don’t Care no more
**** the soul, who
Only causes more.
Forever wonder, forever cold
Alone I stay , lifes matterless
Gave up so much
For nothing in return
Besides a broken heart &
Aching bones

Can you please
Allow me to enjoy 1 Day.
Happy & inlove
With the man I love most
Let me experience happiness
No problems or worries
Just lost With his love
To feel romance & just feel him
Enjoy eachother at peace
Please just 1 magical day
Where I don’t struggle with drugs
Or know the truth of his betrayal

I feel so sad.
I Want Sobriety,
My minds fighting badly
It hurts so bad knowing I Don’t Want this but I’m here wanting.
I’m not feeling anything To say
I want to numb this .
It’s just an urge at the moment
To feel it in me .
A crave my mind & body
Are feining ..
I hurt when I’m on it.
Though my heart tears apart
I can’t get it through my head
At the end il be depressed In regret
I’m so saddened.
I’m sorry I’m sorry
God help me get through this

Let’s Be True.
You’ve never been fine with the way I move .
There’s always a problem
With The way I am
There is always an issue you point out you can’t stand.
Let’s be True
You don’t like who I am.
You Absolutely hate
the way I think & things i do.
You make it clear every day.
There has never been a day where I can feel like I did good.
Let’s be true
My appearance was the 1st
Thing bothering you .
I won’t repeat every perfection you wished on a female
I won’t repeat the desirable women that you’d only make your girl.
Let’s be true .
All you do is tell me my mistakes
What you think isn’t ok , how it should be changed.
Let’s be true
It hurts to say that all I hear is
so much “ I don’t likes” from my
So Called dear.
I’m called Stupid, lazy & Dumb.
This is my truth
All Years with you all I’ve done Was make you Made . Over the way I am
All years with you I’ve been scolded
All years you put me down
I get on your nerves & get you frustrated.
You can’t stand who I am
Everything I Say or do bothers you
It’s So sad
6Years together
You’ve NEVER Told me things
I do that are great.
You’ve never put me up
Always motivated me down
That’s the truth
You hate every aspect
So much it affects your days entirely.
How saddened
That even your negative actions
You put on me to.

Let’s me True .
Only I have been put through the toughest times
Only I have felt sadder that I’ve felt like dying
Only I have felt true betrayal
It’s the truth
Only I’ve gone through hell being with you.
Only my reasons are worth feeling a tear .
Everything Hurting I’ve said or done towards you.
Have only been Times you broken my heart over & over

I’m so saddened dear.
I feel it’s not love you have for me.
Maybe it’s the control & power you had on me.
It’s the truth, my love for you has always been Real.
Yes I’ve left you , I dissed you
But what did you do ?
Is it fair for me to keep
Loving you after all pain you’ve caused.
Would you leave me if I were you?
You immediately would.
No question or doubts
With the smallest concern
You’d walk out.

I write to express
To vent
To get things out my head
I write to relive myself
To feel a pinch of ok.
What I write is not Always heart meaning .
Not every word is 100% meaningful.
I write in the moment.
What I felt last week
Out boredom
I Put random thoughts.
Past thoughts That I just want to let out .
Not everything is current
Not all poems are Official Feelings
I’m used to misery .
So Sad **** it what
il mostly wrote out .
I’m rarely happy, have no motivation
So il rarely write about joy.
My ways are prayed to change
I’m awaiting for hope to someday pass my way.
Untill then
******* and nonsense is what il be talking

I’m struggling life.
I remind That High I can escape
Im saying alright, Just 1 **** 1 line.
Getting anxious to buy
Desperate to make the pain fly
I’m ready to forget
Expecting to feel amazing.
I’m now high on methx
It did nothing but self center itself
I’m wanting more , Stay Stuck ingesting/inhaling more.
I’m stressing trying to get good.
While my High is wasting on attempting to feel it more .
Paranoia comes around the door.
Now I try to feel lit but not get burnt
At the end of it all
I never reached what I wanted
So I crave it again & tell myself this time I can go as planning .
Then I come down & feel regret.
I feel so ashamed , So Drained.
Only then is when I see the reality of what it does to me.
I see the truth and how much more I’m struggling .
Only then is when I want to quit.
I feel the pain of this ****.
I hug myself tightly wanting to sleep. Stop the hallucinating & feelings of being seen.
I cry and hurt for change.
This drug does nothing but damage my brain.
But only then is when I become desperate for help ..
After Awhile of Keeping Away
My Need For a life jacket fades away...
I’m struggling life.
My Addiction To Drugs is Getting annoying.
I hate that I can’t just get right.
I hate that I can Change so easy how people view it in there eyes ..
I truly don’t want this life Nomore
But I end up finding myself urging to getting that fix I desire to quit.
Im Tired & Sick . Yet I can’t let it go
I can’t quit even though I See all it’s ruining . Idk why.
I’m an addict
I hopeless drug addict
who can’t let go.
Who can’t move on
Who cry’s to stop , who promises to Drop all things involved.
But at the end , I go back.
Knowing it’s only giving me pain