Sometimes pain can be really funny,
Especially when you saw it coming,
You had the chance to dodge the gun, but stood like a deer, shot dead
But what's the funniest is that you never really die,
Stuck on an endless repeat of the same journey,
But it becomes less than surprising,
And you wonder if you can ever really beat it,
But that's why it's so funny,
You have the knowledge, but that's the theme of fate,
No matter how much you know, you'll never really win,
All you can do is accept that you're out of control,
And then maybe, maybe it'll end.

We had something that never happened
Lost, uncertain, no control
Kids on a playground, ring-o-round,
Livid souls, trying to run but are trapped in

Suited like a shadow with multiple resting faces
Soul sunken into my shoes in my rainbow shoelaces

Apple in my throat, choking on my emotions
Anxious, paranoid, the same typical symptoms
I feel a little crazy, but at least it's kind of fun
It's a scary day when the depression comes

Captivate my flickering,
This hearts a costume, playing daydream
I'm tired of running the same old mazes
Time to tie up my rainbow shoelaces

I'm trying to capture these feelings and set them free
one
by
one
Sending them away with notes of mind
Opening my relic of emotions to unwind
But I come to realize that I'm SOOOO
e m o t i o n a l
And I'm overwhelmed with not enough room to let them fly
It's getting hard to breathe
Typing this, I feel trapped, clogged
Something swelling my soul with too much
I'm disappointed, but not surprised
I'm happy and thankful, but I also want to cry
When did we start to casually want to die
Why do I ponder why do I try
Yet I also feel content
I could spend time at home or stay here with my friends
I like a boy who's too far ahead to see me
And when I could have set him free
...

i'm emotional
unstable is an understatement
i feel like the embodiment of chaos
yet i also feel like order
somehow i am like a painting that is a beautiful catastrophe
i don't know how to express myself
i feel like i'm in a game where the point is to simply accept that you can only lose
but i don't only lose, not all the time
i lose and win and lose at acknowledge my winning
i'm never satisfied because the one win i want i continue to lose at
i just want that and it's like a carrot dangled in my face
i-
i-
i-


how do i feel so constrained in such a spacious room
why do i feel so enclosed in a world so big
enslaved behind a glass peering into a room labeled free


why am i so emotional