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Raven Aug 2020
Mark my skin pricked with sin
Leave it bruised and scarred

******* lips ridden with secrets
Leave them red and hard

Touch my body marked by memory
Leave it red and carved

Take my hand ruled by demand
Leave it bleeding and broke

Take my heart
Take my soul
Leave them torn
Not whole
Raven Apr 2018
I'm sorry I pushed you too far
That last night

You were hurting
And so was I
But I hurt you more
And pushed you too far

You couldn't take it anymore
Everyone mad
Everyone leaving
Everyone disappointed
You just couldn't take it anymore

So on that last night
You told me you did it again
I thought you had stopped
But that night you relapsed
I got mad
I was sad

I yelled at you
Over text of course
For it was long distance
So I couldn't really be there for you in the way you needed

You told me you wanted to die

I was mad

I said go ahead

I ended the skype call

I cried myself to sleep

Then I woke up and said sorry
But all I got in reply was
'He's no longer here'

So now I sit here
Remembering you
Fighting away tears

I don't want people to ask why I'm crying
For I pushed you over the edge
I pushed you a little too far
And now every once in awhile
I wake up in tears

For I remember your fears
They were losing everyone you loved

One of them was losing me or me bring mad at you

That last night I ignored your fears
And pushed you too far

Now I sit here fighting away tears
Whispering silently in my thoughts
'I'm sorry'
April/ 23/ 2018/ 10:23PM/ 14 yrs old.
This is about one of my ex's who committed suicide when I was twelve.
Raven Apr 2018
Life is a dream

So if you try hard enough maybe you can change the outcome

For some the dream may be more like a nightmare though
And some don't have enough energy left to alter their reality
January/ 7/ 2018/ 14 yrs old
Raven Apr 2018
When I was three I thought there were monsters in my closet and under my bed
When I was three I had a dog and a dad, mom and brother who I loved and who loved me back

When I was six the monsters were no longer in my closet or under my bed
For now they were at the side of my bed in the crack between mattress and wall
When I was six my dog died and I cried for many many nights
My dad would yell and hit not only me but mostly my brother
My mom still loved him, my brother and me and I loved her and my brother

When I was eight we moved to a new town and now the monsters in the cracks had started talking to me and whispering sweet truth
When I was eight my dad no longer worked and now stayed at home
My mom worked two jobs and wasn’t there for me when I cried
If she was there when he hit us or yelled she would sit and watch in painful silence as warm tears cascaded our cheeks
My brother tried to do his best to be strong and nice but sometimes he would start fights
I wasn’t sure who my dad loved anymore if he loved anyone at all
My mom loved my dad, my brother and me
And I loved my brother and the cat we now had who adopted our family

When I was nine I started telling myself the demons were whispering lies
When I was nine my dad finally told me he loved me one night
But not in the way I thought he meant
So I thought everything would be alright
My mom now worked more hours and was barely home
My brother still tried his best but played with me less
My dad loved me, or so I thought
My mom loved my dad, my brother, me and our cat
I loved them all for that short little while

When I was ten the monsters were no longer just at the side of my bed, for now they were also in my head
When I was ten I realized what my dad did was wrong
School was now my favourite place even though I had no friends and the teachers weren’t fond of me
When I was ten I started to hurt myself in places no one would notice, for it was my only sweet relief in a life of horror and chaos
My dad now yelled and hit more but that was nothing compared to the showers and poisonous nights
My mom was barely home but if she got home soon enough, would bring us treats
I didn’t know how my brother was or how hard he was trying to be strong for I no longer cared very much
My cat or so I liked to call her was the only one who I thought loved me
My dad was heartless and a walking lie so I didn’t know if he was capable of love
My mom loved my dad, my brother, me and our cat
I loved the cat and all animals for I no longer knew how to love a person

When I was eleven I thought love was touch so I did things I shouldn’t

When I was twelve the demons were now only in my head
My dad still touched me and poisoned my mind
So much happened when I was twelve I can’t even begin to describe
My mom was now tired more often than not
I never showed anyone the real me for I was scared to let them see the broken girl I had come to be
I no longer accepted hugs and pushed everyone away eventually
My mom loved my dad, my brother, the cat, the dog we now owned and me
I loved nothing and no one for now I was too broke

Let’s skip a few years and lots of tears until we end up here at fourteen where I am now
I no longer live at home but with a friend
I still cut but less often for I am trying to stop
I don’t eat very much because I don’t like my body
My dad is dead to me
My mom is still with him and so is my brother
My mom loves my dad, my brother, the dog and me
No longer the cat cause she left not too long after me
I love shiloh and jordyn but I don’t yet love me
For I have been too scared throughout my ages.
Raven Apr 2018
The only people I have now are Shiloh and my little bear

No one else seems to care
And no one else is there

Now I'm mostly alone with no official place to call home

No other friends
So no more need to pretend

I can pretend that I don't need anyone else
Even though I may

In the end it doesn't really matter anyway
Because I have never really had any real friends

Maybe it's because I always pretend
Jan/ 31/ 2018/ 9:08 PM/ 14 yrs old
Raven Aug 2021
At 3AM
Under a bridge
Contemplating what life
Means to me

At 3AM
Under a bridge
Wondering why
It always has to be

At 3AM
Laying on a swing
Wondering why
I cant just eat

At 3AM
Laying on a swing
Just thinking why
Did he have to touch

At 3AM
Under a bridge
Hoping that you
Can make me feel

At 3AM
Hoping one day
You say you love

In my thoughts
Getting dragged down
And drowned

Why cant I eat?
Why cant I imagine anyone wanting me?
Why cant I sleep?
Why cant I stop thinking about what they did to me?

I want to fade away
Dissappear at 3AM
Somewhere far away
Somewhere I dont have to be
Raven Aug 2018
I don't know what it is
But there's something different about you

When I'm with you I don't feel like
I have to pretend as much
As I do with everyone else

When you hold me I not only feel safe
I also feel calm

When you hold my hand
I feel free

There's something different about you
And I don't know what it is
But I love it
Raven Jun 2020
It's only been about a week
But I can already tell
That I'm falling for you

When you look me in the eye
My stomach fills with butterflies

When you hold my hand
I feel safe
And as if
I never wanna let go

When you pull me close
I feel warm
And as if
I want to hold your heart
Close to mine forever

When I hear your voice
My face flushes with excitement
And I feel as if
I want you to never stop talking

When you play the bass
I get lost in thought
And I feel as if
I could stay right there forever

When you comfort me
I feel understood
And I feel as if
I could tell you anything

I know it's only been
About a week

But my heart feels as it
It's falling for you
Raven Apr 2018
Every night I cry
And every night I try to be alright

But every night I fail because my demons shout all of my dreams away
Feb/ 13/ 2018/ 6:38 PM/ 14 yrs old
Raven Jul 2018
There is a boy
He reminds me of a sunset

He reminds me of the snow

He reminds me of a puppy

His personality is colourful
Yet peaceful

He's cuddly
And playful

He is
As his name
Raven Apr 2018
Away from here
Away from you

Away from that
Away from this

Every time I find someone I love
One of us leaves in one way or another and I'm left in need of repair
March/ 11/ 2018/ 11:29 PM / 14 yrs old
Raven Mar 2019
You broke me
Beyond repair
Beyond help

Because now my heart isn't just shattered
But also torn
And fractured
If its even there at all

You took my trust
Then threw it to the wolves

You took my love
Then through it into flames

You took my fear
And magnified it

You took my pain
And watered it whole

You broke me
Beyond repair
Raven Feb 2022
I watch it flow
Off of my arm
Onto the floor
Or onto me

I watch it flow
As it mesmorizes me
And drowns out
The memories

Its beautifully red
Sweetly warm
And bitterly tasting

It soothes me deep within
Like no other person or thing
Could possibly match

It may be bad for me physically
But mentally its soothing

It calms me
Soothes my mind
And soothes my soul


I want to drown in it

I want to make sure there's enough
To make a pool
A puddle
Or to drain me
From within

I wanna be stained crimson
As I fade away
From this house
Where safety
Never existed
Raven Nov 2018
You broke me

You broke me with your words
And you broke me with your gaze

You told me you loved me
Then became distant for days

You broke me with your habits
And addictions

You took my heart
And wrapped it in flames

Maybe you thought that
Would warm it back up
But all it did
Was burn it apart
And now it's in ashes
So I can't fix it


Raven Apr 2018
Your wrists burn with late night thoughts

Your lungs are toxic with words uttered from others

Your face is masked by the beauty of want

You define your wight with harsh criticism

You are beautifully broken
And peacefully harsh
Jan/ 10/ 2018/ 14 yrs old
Raven Apr 2018
Hey brother how are you?
What have you been up to?

Always simple never deep

You should listen to this song
Wanna hear a poem I wrote?

I attempt to share a piece of me but somehow you never seem to see

You ask me how I am
I say fine
I'm attempting to get you to ask me why
But you always seem to brush that question aside

When I ask
Hey brother, how are you?
I'm asking for the truth
Not a lie, for I wanna know before a final goodbye
March/ 11/ 2018/ 12:05 PM / 14 yrs old
Raven Aug 2021
I cant breath
When I imagine
How you used to
Look at me

I can't breath
When I remember
The last words
You said to me

I cant breath
When I remember
How you threw me away
Without a care in the world

I cant breath
When I remember
All the times
You didn't want me


Just set me free

I dont wanna live with
These memories anymore

I dont wanna suffer
Every night
When I remember
Exactly how your touch

I cant handed it

Just let me go
Set me free
From all the memories
Raven Oct 2020
It washes my emotions away
And make me feel free
Can you figure out what I'm talking about?

I hold it in my hands to numb them
And it makes me feel at peace
Can you figure out what I'm talking about?

It drips down my skin
And soothes me deep within
Can you figure out what I'm talking about?

It holds me close
And makes me feel less alone
Can you figure out what I'm talking about?

It heats me up all over
And sends my body into overload
Can you figure out what I'm talking about?

It makes all thoughts disappear
And leaves me breathless
Can you figure out what I'm talking about?

The thought of it sets me at ease
And fills me with a weird sense of peace
Can you figure out what I'm talking about?
Raven Aug 2021
Come with me at midnight
Traverse an obstacle course
Leading to my heart
And into my soul

Come with me at 1
Run through the park
With no care in the world
But your hand in mine

Come with me at 2
Dance with me
In the middle of a field
Like only we exist

Come with me at 3
Tell me all the secrets
Your heart carries
And I'll tell you mine

Come with me at 4
Let me pour out my soul
As you hold me close
And I hide in your warmth

Come with me at 5
Look at me with weary eyes
And kiss me in disguise
As I melt from the look in your eye

Come with me at 6
As we return to reality
With me in your arms
And you mine
Raven Aug 2020
There's you
and there's him

He makes my insides
feel as though
they are on fire
and a storm has set in

You make my insides
grow butterflies
and feel as though
a calm has set in

He makes my face flush
with embarrassment
and pleasure

You make my face flush
with shyness
and warm weather

He humiliates me
and it makes me want
his touch
to a new degree

You praise me
and it makes me want
to stay in your arms

He likes me
but he doesn't know yet
to what he's agreed

You love me
but you don't yet know
what that'll mean

I love him
and you

But my heart burns with a completely different passion
for him
then for you

For he's a gentle storm

And you're a chaotic summer
Raven Aug 2020
It counts as consent
Because I never said no
But my mind was screaming
Please stop
Just go

It counts as consent
Because I didn't push you away
But my eyes were pleading
And trying to say
Go away

It counts as consent
If I don't say a thing
But you ignore the pain
And the fear in my eyes

You don't care for me
You just want to look at my body

So please just go
Leave me alone
Raven May 2019
Consume me within you

As I walk through the dark
Through the gate of another world
Consume me within you

Wrap me in your pain
And consume me within your rage

You are my companion
And my worst fear

You whisper to me the lies people tell
Then turn around and whisper your own

You whisper to me the hate in peoples hearts
Then turn around and consume me within your own

Sometimes I wish for you to let me go
But without you
I feel as if I'm no one


Like the smallest whisper carried by the wind
Could wisp my will away

So no
Don't go

Wrap me in the dark
And pull me into the darkest corners of reality
As you consume me
Within you
Raven Aug 2020
I sit here on the floor
Just contemplating

Should I call
Or should I not?
Because I don't want to wake you up
And I've already called once

I sit here and I wait
Hovering over the button

Should I call
Or just suffer in my silence
Because if you don't pick up
That's how It'll be anyway

But the chance
That you might Just answer and talk
Makes me sit here and hover

Because the sound of your voice
Already makes me feel better
And you know just what to say
To make me feel less sad
To not feel as bad

So I'll sir here and hover
And just
Raven Aug 2021
I feel as though I'm empty
And as if my feelings will overflow

I feel as though I love you
And as if I cant feel at all

I feel as though I want to try
And as if I've given up on life

I feel as though I want to see you smile
And as if I want to erase it from my mind

I feel as though you made me happy
And as if you broke me apart

I feel as though I feel too much
And as if I don't feel at all

I feel as though I want to be alone
And as if I never want to let you go

I cantradict myself
And my feelings when it comes to you
But also when it comes to me

I wish to not feel this way
As you dont feel this way for me
Raven Aug 2018
Are seen as sweet
As something
For a child to enjoy
Or at least that's the stereotype

And normally
Is seen as bitter
And something
For grown ups to enjoy
Or at least that's the stereotype

Children are now drinking wine
Adults are eating cookies

Adults look the other way about the children
With wine

And children look the other way about parents
Eating cookies they can't have

Why have things turned around?

Why have things changed?

Maybe because the children saw adults
Using wine
To dull pain
And so they tried it
Even though the aftermath
Was also painful
It was less painful than the rest of the world

And maybe because parents realized that if they put *** in their cookies
The children would stop stealing
And sneaking them

But both have backfired

Because now the children have more problems than before
Raven Apr 2018
I love the way you make me feel
Just from being around you

I love your voice
And your looks
And most of all I love your personality

I get butterflies when we talk
And when we walk together
And my hands get sweaty when our eyes lock
And it seems like the clock stops

I remember that one time when me and you found a satellite recorder behind that counter
And when we were reading people's last names
And all those fun wyldlife games

It just seems like I can't tame this love for you
So I have one question
Do you like me too?
Raven Feb 2022
I smile the most
When I want to

I laugh the most
When I want to

I sit here
And I act playful
As we text

But deep down inside
My heart
And my hope
Have failed
And I lay here
Stuck in my head
Unable to leave this bed

I miss having more people
To hold me close
And cuddle
For now everyone
Makes it ******

I miss holding hands
With people
And going on adventures
But now everyone
Assumes that means
I want them

I do want love
And I do want someone to hold
But just because I cuddled you
Or held your hand
Or was goofy with you
It doesn't mean
You're the one I choose

A cuddle
Shouldn't turn
Into a ****

Holding a hand
Shouldn't turn
Into love

So why is that
What I always
Run into?
Raven Aug 2018
I am
In love

Not with just anybody

I am
In love
With someone amazing

But who also
Doesn't seem to see me
In the same way

They say to me
I need to figure things out

But what does that really mean?

Sometimes I overthink
And I ask myself
What if that really means I don't feel the same
Yet I don't want to hurt you?
What if that's what that means?

What would I do then?
Because I'm so completely committed
That if they turned me down
I wouldn't know where to run

What would I do then?
Because when I realized my love
My feeling for every other person
I used to like

I can't explain why
But I fell for you

I fell for a person who I get reminded of
Every turn I take
Yet I doubt it's the same for him
Raven Aug 2021
This is my introduction
Of me

My name is that of a flower
My name is Daffodil
A choice made by
My mother

I was born when all flowers bloom
Into the world
When all things warm up again

My past isn't bright
Like the month I was born
It's dark and cold
As if I was stuck in a never ending

Regardless of my past
I remain resiliant
And hopeful
Of all the things to come

My favorite colours are
And orange
But I walk the halls wearing mostly
Shades of yellow

I have many friends
And blend in among all types
Of crowds
Shining bright as can be
Spreading sheerful smiles
Among everybody

I tend to tuck myself away among friend groups
That have already been established
They appreciate my company
For they say I keep the pests away
With my cheerful display

I have unfortunately earned the nickname of daffy
But people say they like it
Because it dulls me down a bit
And apperently I need that

So hello
This is me
I hope one day we meet
Raven May 2018
The darkness is seeping in
Into my mind
Into my heart
And into my soul

It's taking my thoughts
So now they are no longer whole

They are broken
Seeping into nothing

They are being consumed by the darkness
Along with me

One day I will no longer be able to pretend
And everyone will see
The me I have kept hidden away
May/24/2018/2:05PM/14 years old
Raven Apr 2018
When you feel darkness creeping up on you and demons settling in you should push them away with all your might

Because if you give in they will haunt you all day and night

They will try and scare you any chance they get

When the demon named depression starts whispering in your ear I advise you to ignore every word no matter how taunting

When the demon named anxiety starts telling you stories to doubt every turn you take, anything you say, remind yourself they are just stories

If a demon named DPD starts telling you you're worthless unless someone is with you don't listen and remind yourself that what makes you worth it is you and not others

So no matter what never listen to the demons that may sneak up on you and don't take any steps into darkness because it is hell to try and get out.
January/ 2018/ 14 yrs old
Raven Apr 2018
Maybe I deserve to go back

Maybe I don't deserve you

Maybe I deserve the bad
But not the good

Maybe I deserve to be yelled at and for everyone to leave

Maybe I deserve for no one to love me
And for no one to care

Maybe I deserve to be hurt
And have no on there to help me

Maybe I deserve to be left behind
And not even looked back upon

But no matter what I deserve I won't stop fighting and I won't stop trying to deserve something more
Jan/ 29/ 2018/ 10:30 PM/ 14 yrs old
Raven Sep 2018
I say

Two hours later
Or maybe even more
You reply
You say
I was busy
I say ok
We talk for maybe thirty mins
Then once again
You say you have to go

Where have you been going?
That's what I wanna ask
But I don't wanna be one of those clingy *** girlfriends
That no one wants

But that's who I am
So why don't I show it?
Because I mean I already have
But even so I still try to hide it

But please
Tell me why
And tell me where
You have been going
Cause you have been distant lately

Youre getting
And further
And further

We used to hang out almost every day
But it was two weeks before friday
So how long will the wait be
This time?

It's already been two days
Which isn't bad
But the longer I wait
The more I get sad
Because the longer I wait
The more I feel you will leave
And find someone better
And I'll never know where you met her

But why?

You told me yesterday
And since then all I wanna do is cry

Because it's my fault
And now I don't know how to fix it
So im sorry
But im breaking my promise
Cause the only thing that'll make me calm
Is the splitting of skin
And the smell of sin
As blood drips down along and around my wrist

Along with every forgotten wish

I say

I get no reply
Because you're busy

One day
I'll saygoodbye
But once again
I'll get no reply
And you'll be too late
Raven Aug 2018
My heart is yours
But yours is distant

Every day I fall for you a little more
And my heart flies a little further
Towards you

Yet every day you restrain your heart
Instead of letting it fly free

So your heart is as distant
The distance
Between us

I'll start building a bridge
That will one day reach you
And hopefully
You don't knock that bridge down
Raven Mar 2021
Do you ever just
Sit on the bathroom floor
Staring at the blades
Hoping someone will know
Maybe send a text that will save you
From bleeding tonight

Do you ever just
Lay in bed
Wondering where
Everything went so wrong
Wondering why you are so hard
To love

Do you ever just
Go for a walk
And wonder who else is
Walking around lonely
Wishing to run into another
So that maybe they can be the one
To save you from yourself

Do you ever just
Drown in music
Staring at the roof
The stars
Or the ground beneath your feet
And wonder how many others
Feel the way you do
Or if you're the only one
Whose at the limit tonight

Do you ever just
Wish to be on the moon
But with no air to breath
So that you can finally
Die in peace
Raven Jul 2018
There is a girl
Her name is

She's beautiful

Ocean eyes
Fair skin
Short hair
Dim smile

Her presence
Sends shivers

She's beautiful
But her heart
Is dressed in thorns

Anyone who tries to take care of her heart
Gets hurt
And she uses those thorns
To mark her skin
For her many sins

She's beautiful
Yet untouchable
Raven Jul 2018
Dressed up in smiles
Dressed up in frowns

Dressed up in pride
Dressed up to hide

Dressed up for success
Dressed up to fail

Dressed up in love
Dressed up in lust

Dressed up in confidence
Dressed up in fear

I am one
But also both
Raven Feb 2022
I'm just another broken soul
Drifting through life
On one last piece of hope

I grasp onto that one last piece
As it pulls me along
And drags me forward
Even when I can't walk

It drags me along
And bruises and breaks
As it goes along
Dragging me across every bump
And every surface

I'm drifting away
From this place
Drifting away
From the space
That I occupy

I've got one last piece of hope
But its leaving me
Bleeding and broke
As I drift away from

Raven Apr 2018
Drowning in thought

Drowning in memories

Everyday I'm drowning
And no one seems to see
April/ 22/ 2018/ 14 yrs old
Raven Feb 2022
Drown me in the memory
Of your touch
On my body

Drown me in the memory
Of when it was a yes
Not a no

Drown me in the memory
Of being high
In your arms
With lovely kisses

Because I don't wanna drown
In the memories I have

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
Your arm around my neck
And your leg between mine
Forcing submission
Without permission

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
My nails digging into
The back of your hand
Doing anything I can
To remove it from behind

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
The emotionless expression
And lack of remorse
When you look at me as I lay
Hitting myself and screaming
Mentally in too much pain
As you never even said
"I'm sorry"

Drown me in the memory
Of when you were gone
And I was free to just
Be me

Drown me in the memory
Of all days I was away
At a friends place
Or camping peacefully

Drown me in the memory
Of when all you did was yell
And hit me
But never said you love me

Because I don't wanna drown
In the memories I have

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
All the nights I lay awake in wait
Waiting for you to come in
And use me as you please

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
All the times I'd avoid the shower
Because when I didn't
You had to come with

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
All the times you'd ask me
To come watch a movie
Because that wasn't all it was

Drown me in the thought
Of meeting you again
And being happy
That you know me

Drown me in the thought
Of the movie theater
And hoping no one sees
As you mess around with me

Drown me in the thought
Of sneaking glances
And passionate kisses
Full of love

Because I don't wanna drown
In the memories I have

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
My no's going unheard
And never noticed
As I push you back

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
The pain as you forced your way
Inside of me
Into places I never wanted you to be

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
When I told you what happened
And all you said was
I'm sorry but that was a long time ago
And I never even heard you

To everyone else
Who ever touched me
When I never said yes
And even said no

And please
Just let me
Live in peace
Raven Apr 2018
Emotions aren't just people

Emotions are in the rain

Emotion is in a storm

There is emotion in the way a tree droops

There is emotion in the way things grow

There's emotion in everything around, you just have to look a little deeper
January/ 9/ 4:03PM/ 14 yrs old
Raven Aug 2021
I drown as I gaze
Into the endless blue
Of the sky

I think of all the poeple
Possibly doing the same

Thinking about this
Thinking about that
Thinking about everything
And nothing

As you stare into the endless blue
Are you thinking of me
As I think of you

As you stare into the endless blue
Do you think or heartbreak
And what could have been?
Or do you think of love
And what is?

As you stare into the endless blue
Are you sad
And lonely?
Or happy
As you can confidently say
"I have someone to hold me"

Everyone who spirals
Into the endless blue
Will spiral into thoughts
About everything
And nothing

But the question is
Are you happy
Or depressed?
Raven Feb 2022
Can I please
Just eacape reality for a day
As I lay on the floor
Drowning in music
And every memory of before

Let me escape reality
As I bleed out
Behind a closed door
And fade away

Let me escape reality
As I burn myself
And stare at the flame
Mesmorized by how I made it
Through the day

Let me escape reality
As I bite myself
As I have no other way
To feel the pain

I want to fade away
From reality

I want to watch the blood
Drip down my arm
My thigh
Or any other place
Shy of view

I want to watch the flame
As it turns my skin white
And burns the thoughts away

I want to watch the bruise
Form on my skin
When I bite myself
And it splits apart from within

When I harm myself in many ways
I can escape reality

When I watch the blood
It mesmerizes me
With the way it flows

When I feel the burn
It soothes me deep within
As the only thing I can think of
Is now the pain
And not the painful

When I bite myself
My thoughts numb and dissappear
As I dissociate
From reality

Music isn't loud enough anymore
I can't write enough poems
Your cuddles make me insecure
And drawing is too much effort for me to cope
Raven Apr 2018
Every kiss is different

There's the sweet kind
It's tender and loving

There's the desperate kind that begs for more and is never satisfied

There's the longing kind
It longs for more and it's lingering

There's the kind that's full of love
It's tender and sweet and doesn't beg for more

Every kiss is different
But be careful
If you ever come across a desperate or forceful kiss
Flee the scene and never look back
January 2018/ 14 yrs old
Raven Nov 2018
The wait starts to fade

You may be asking
The wait for what?

The wait for happiness
The wait for a real smile

The wait for these things
Is starting to fade

Soon I will no longer have to wait
And that's
Because of you

You have started gathering
The broken pieces of my heart
And so far
You have about half

And right now
I'm hoping
One day
You'll have them all

Then piece me back together
Raven Oct 2020
I say I'm alright
I say i'm okay
But you don't see the smile
When it falters form my face

You see the happiness
And the laughs you hear
But you're not there when I start to fear

You're not there when I question
All that life
Is to me

You're not there when I question
What it means
To be

I say I'm alright
I say I'm okay
But really deep down
I'm starting to decay
Raven Jun 2020
I feel as though I'm falling
With no real destination

I feel as though I'm falling
With no plan on where to land

I feel as though I'm falling
In mind
And it heart

I'm falling for you
And I'm falling out of this
But into that

I'm falling with no real destination
But away
And forward

I'm falling away
From the things
You say

I'm falling away
From the things
You do

I'm falling away
From the I love yous

I'm falling away
Because you tell me you love me
Even though your faith fell away

I'm falling away
Because even though you tell me you care
You're efforts have gone astray

I'm falling away
Because I feel as though
You're falling away
From me

On the other hand

I'm falling for him
For the things he says

I'm falling for him
For the things he does

I'm falling toward
A possible I love you

I'm Falling for him
Because even though there's no love
The faith seems to be there
and hopefully will stay

I'm falling for him
Because he shows me he cares
Even without the words

I'm falling for him
Because when he holds me tight
My heart feels warm

I'm falling for him
Because when he looks in my eyes
I feel seen

I'm falling for him
Because I feel as though
He's falling towards me

I'm falling
With no real destination
But up and away
Down and forward
Around and around

Until eventually my thoughts
Have me drowned
Raven Feb 2019
Your name to me is dad
Or father
But thats not how it feels in reality

I dont want to call you that
And it physically hurts me to
Because of all you've put me though

My pain stems from you
My tears stem from you
My heartbreaks stem from you

Every broken part of me is because of you

You touched me one night
And stole my innocence

You hit me one time
And stole my confidence

You shame me for the friends i make
Just because of race
Or maybe because they arent strong
Arent smart
They aren't good enough to you

And by doing that you make me afraid to hang out with them
Because if i do
Im afraid

Im afriad you'll hate on them
Or maybe ryu will

Im afraid you'll call me stupid
Or *******
Or any other thing
Just because they dont fit your standards

You make me afriad
Not of others
But of you
And i have a good reason to be

So no
You are no longer father
You are no longer my dad

You are no longer my family
You're just a name in the wind
Raven Aug 2018
"Father, why do you yell at me?"
"Because sometimes you're too much"

"Father,why do you hurt me?"
"So what you understand pain"

"Father, why won't you hug me?"
"Because I won't always be here"

"Father, when will you find help and get better?"
"When the time comes"

"Maria, why do you yell at yourself?"
"Because my own mind is too much"

"Maria, why do you hurt yourself?"
"So that I understand pain"

"Maria, why do you avoid me?"
"Because it'll hurt less when I'm gone"

"Maria, why won't you find help and get better?"
"Because you made me this way, father"
Raven Apr 2018
Love and fear

People use them in the same sentence
In the same story
In the same instance a lot

They could almost be referred to as synonyms

Why are they used so often the same?
This is a question many may ask

This is my answer

It's because you have to go through the fear of loss
You have to go through the fear of abandonment
You have to be rejected then found

You have to get over the fear of being forgotten to experience the freedom
To experience the passion
That comes with true love

All I have to say is don't give into the fear
Give it up
April/ 6/ 2018/ 2:27PM/ 14 years old
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