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I wish that i didn't have a heart love you

But i played a part in breaking you down
Gave you that permanent frown
Left you on a permanent down
Promised you a wedding gown

But i just left town
On my own i sit here
Thinking of you
Who i hurt ever so much
Clutching at what i have left

why are you still so kind
After all i left you behind
All i am good at is whining
And hiding in my mind

Crying in the dark
Listening to the nightlark
With you i feel a spark
As sure as dogs bark
She loves me

And i owe her
I need to show her
I care
So i sit here and stare
Into the darkness
Feeling heartless

Looking for inspiration
Devastation is all i feel
When i read my writings

fighting my depression
What is your impression of me
Me he who bleeds from his wrists
The Mascot of Pain
once again i ruined someones life but i am back to save you
I will be there hero you dont want but need
Without you i wouldn't even be writing this
MJU
To move on i go back
My thoughts are wack
My mind is full of black

Being kind to the one i say love
she is a pure white dove
Making light of the darkness of my mind
Helping me to find myself

In her arms
rest the scars i put there
From when i said i didn't care
My words are never fair

Marielle hurting her is hell
Fell into her heart
Tore her apart
**** why did i do it?
And now i am smiling
no more crying
but i am always lying
Thinking of dying
No longer trying to make it through
All the pain
What have i done wrong
I must stay strong
It won't be too long

What have i done wrong
I don't want to prolong the time i have left
all along i blamed myself
When it was you causing me all this pain

What have I done wrong
A simple smile or a laugh
A simple cut or a scratch
To make me feel alive again
To relieve some of my pain
No more gain from
A simple smile or a laugh
I am struggling today
Ripping my arms to shreds
thoughts of suicide in my head
i am filled with dread
no one listened to what i said
a pull of a trigger and i am
DEAD
Help me
it was my birthday 26/03 i should have been happy
But i was feeling ******
Being snappy
feeling like ****
It is natural
for me
Holding on so desperately to what i have left of my life
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