Your fingers make their way in my mouth, wrapped in my tongue like a gift, digging my waist and softly ripping appart my psyche.
I am unwell for you, too ripe and too ready,
The sweet ache of my teeth holding down my pleas makes itself known
What is love if not ruin

I wish I could yell instead of crying.
I wish I stood my ground as you do
sharp words and cold tone
unbreakable, unmovable, unchangeable.
I wish I could hurt as you do,
I wish I could cry and apologize,
late at night, the "I'm sorry"s come,
but nothing ever changes.
I wish I were like you,
I wish I had put a limit, drawn a line, defended it with my life,
I wish I had pushed you, yelled, I wish I had ran,
Anything but this smile,
I wish I didn't forgive you,
My forgiveness is too easy,
I wish I could blame you,
God knows it could be easy,
I wish I could hate you.
But here I am.

I didn't think it would hurt this badly.
I thought I'd make it easily,
I thought I could do this without shedding a tear,
I had a glimmer of hope,
maybe just maybe I'd make it through,
it hit me all at once.

Every time I look in the mirror
I see burns
all over my body
I see them on my stomach,
neck
in the crease of my thighs
everyone is blind to these scars
for they have sunk into my psych
There's no proof
of how bad you destroyed me
and here I am
burning someone else

to cope

let me sleep
let me rest
Let me melt
to fit the curve
of you stomach
let me fall
let me choose
Let me crash
let me sleep
let me dream
once, just once
let me