Nobody

Nobody Apr 2016

I do not write poetry
to please and delight
forever the purpose shall be
to tame my bleeding aching heart.

#haiku #purpose

Nobody Oct 2015

I can't stand this world.

It's a place filled with lies, a world filled with sorrows
A place of violent madness and pitiful tomorrows.

Truth is ineffable, saddening, and out of grasp
and some days I just can't take it,
because the sum of all we are is something that just can't last.

And I promise all these tomorrows will be sunnier day's,
Yet the sun is sinking, sulking and withering away.

My mind just won't stay quiet, it's running and spinning'
and dizzying in shades of grey.

If I could find a point, a purpose, or a meaningful way
I'd trade all my treasure, my pleasure and call it a day.

#depressing #sad #existential #angry

Nobody Sep 2014

What comes in the midnight hour?

What comes in the midnight hour calling me across the lake?
An ethereal siren song of a maiden from another shore.
A song that makes my heart quiver with the thought that im very far from home.

The fire in my mind spreads like a disease to every sense,
light is darkened, sound is muted, taste is rotten, smell is of gasoline and rotting corpses.

What aches is not only that my own heart is empty, but rather
That all the hearts mine call out to are equally broken, and empty.

I've nothing left to offer this world, for this world has already broken me,
beaten me, and left me without a soul, or even a sense of home.

I feel I no longer belong on this shore. Like a man out of time.
All that's left is my silhouette. A burnt out husk.

In a perfect world, we would live in unity. There would be perfect sanity
enough that our minds could fully receive each other
and share our ourselves, share our love, share our knowledge, wisdom and our pains,
without ever harming another, nor ourselves.

We would no longer need words, because our hearts would be one.
We would be united, no longer in selfishness, and greed, but in joy and love and kindness.

I don't belong here anymore, because I'm incapable of living in such a world.
Yet it's all I want, and the furthest from what I am.

I am a monster.

#suicide #depression #madness

Nobody Aug 2014

Monsters

One day it will all end,
be it in a sea of fire, a radioactive wasteland
a barren place with no tree's or signs of life
and we'll still be fighting over what's left.

We are disgusting.
Once nothing is left, We'll still be fighting.
Fighting over our ideas and ideologies.

We are disgusting.
Just maybe we don't deserve to survive.
We can't even face how terrible we really are.
We are monsters, and we hide it from even ourselves.

Don't look in the mirror unless you really want to know
just what you are.

Once you see it, you just might think.
Maybe we don't deserve to survive.

Nobody Jul 2014

My Gift; My Curse

Why do I even have to ask such questions?
When the answers float in front of me,

What makes life a gift, or a curse? Is it circumstance?
Is there a choice in the matter at all? Or has this moment simply
been waiting to be since the beginning.

As haphazard as I am, even I find good days,
Even on the days I'm withering away inside.

I ponder my circumstances with the vigilance of a soldier
waiting for a stray bullet to pass by his head.

What a way to live, what a way to write poetry.
Let me tell you, poetry is about as good as ash
tossed in the sea.

It serves as a fossil, a reminder of the past, but through
the binoculars of a different person.

It doesn't explain a thing either, it's just text, an empty shell
Once the shell falls away, what remains is what we sough after, but never wanted.

Let me tell you, When pleasure is followed by pain
there's nothing but destruction
but when pain is followed by understanding,
well, maybe, just maybe.

Nobody May 2014

Ashes

Life is absurd

Most of it beyond belief, and it's really just a figment
a solidified dream, one that leaves me feeling empty
because I can dream so much more, and all those dreams;
don't mean a thing, and my journey has grown tired,
and stale, and It will never shine again, because
at every turn, I'm reminded of how foolish I am.
There is no magic anymore, my worlds grown hollow
and every belief, is like a song that ends too soon.
If you take a hammer, and smash the world to pieces
it's beautiful, but as the ashes of the world settle
and solidify, you never know how your mind will end up
I like the world in ashes, thrown into the air
because that's the only place where everything is beautiful.

#beauty #reality #creativity

Nobody May 2014

Hate

This is

The end of a phase
The beginning of an era

Where hope is the villain
and everything bright with dreams
of happy endings

Is perused with intent to ****
I'm not your friend
I'm not your savior

I am the gun
buried in the hate
of everyone who's ever felt
the sting of betrayal, the whip
of hate searing it's name
into the bowels of your heart

I am the beginning, the ending
of everything to come
I am your friend burying the knife
in the back of everything you believe

I am a creature of your makings
Feed me, Keep me
Hate me HATE ME

And just before you forget me,

Remember all that's been done
before its too late and everything you love
becomes forsaken, destroyed
and is left in the wake of everything,
everything you've had me become..