zeph the deer boi: Poems

zeph the deer boi Nov 2016

Oh no
      They're all leaving
      My family, my friends
Don't go
      I can't do this
      I don't want it to end
I rely
      On my friends to be fine but
      They're leaving and I don't want to be alone forever
I've tried*
       But I can't go on
      When I feel like it's all over

rip
friendo is moving to different borough...we can still hangout but she'd be farther and we'd hangout less. other friend moved to Florida. fave aunt moved to new jersey. other friend doesn't wanna hangout anymore. bro moved to south Carolina. sis has been living in Buffalo for a while...mom wants us to move to but I don't want to.

#tired #rip

thread of life

zeph the deer boi Oct 2016

thread of life

hand sewing everything with thread tied in knots
putting patterns in places they don't belong
binding them together in desperation
but it seems the thread of life was unable
to keep my patchwork from tearing apart at the seams

in a club at school we have to creatively express ourselves by writing a poem, drawing, singing, or acting out an emotion. I wanted this to be for sadness but I'd need to add more and I felt it was good like this. maybe this could be stressed out cuz they're trying so hard to put their life back together but nothing seems to work...

#sadness #desperation #idk #thread #sewing

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zeph the deer boi Oct 2016

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you pretended to be a real musician
following the papers given to you
pressing keys you had learned back then
but once you were forced on stage you knew
that for this you weren't ready
the crowd stares at you
like you're something they need to study
you hear the once steady beat
turn into a nightmarish feat
the pounding of heart drums
echo in the air
soon the crowd turn to none
and you're left with an instrument that was never there

idk man

#anxiety #piano

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zeph the deer boi Mar 2015

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as lifes once beauty begins to rot
so will living, the less you'll want
and as the days pass
this ones slumber will forever last

what can i do?

zeph the deer boi Oct 2016

what can i do?

what can I do
to make you stop?
for you to not yell at me...
I'm trying all that I can
and I know I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed
but that doesn't mean you have to degrade me
you want me to treat you like a god
yet you're actually just a ****
if my existence is bothering you
would it be best if I was gone?
would that work?

bluh my bro is a ****

What is a click?

zeph the deer boi Feb 2017

What is a click?

Do you know the game where you can click?

ya fool

zeph the deer boi Feb 2017

ya fool

poor porcupine*
you never let people get too close
those who do
regret finding you
but youve let one in
got too close too quick
they got stuck on your quills
they want to stay but also leave
always talking to others
never you
yet theyre there
always reassuring you that theyll stay
that youre the best home
but you know better
than to trust a *rat

my best friend (imma call her porcupine) is dating this girl. she always takes forever to open up to people. it took me about two years for her to be comfortable with me and same for her other friends. she opened up to this girl in 3 months and they started dating. now her girlfriend prefers to talk to and play with other people rather than porcupine. her girlfriend makes porcupine feel bad for bringing that up and now shes even more depressed. like dude get to know the person first. her gf is poly meaning she wants to date multiple people and porcupine clearly has a problem with this. they wouldve broken up but her gf is the only thing making her happy yet is also hurting her

You Already Have A Best Friend

zeph the deer boi Nov 2016

You Already Have A Best Friend

We should stop talking
I can not keep doing this
This is hurting me

eeeeehhhhhh
not gonna talk to best friendly anymore
I just can't
she has someone she loves more
and doesn't even care about me as much as she used too

You're Not the Only One

zeph the deer boi Nov 2016

You're Not the Only One

...
      mother I've been wanting to die,
I've tried.
       i cant live with the fact that inside
my mind
       there's no brightness left to shine.
I'm fine?
       I lie because you've never seemed to care,
that's fair
       you've dealt with more than I've had.
you're sad
        I get it, but I still feel this way.
okay?

idk my mom likes to yell at me saying that she's had to deal with more than I've had and that I shouldn't be feeling stressed out or depressed when she has it worse. its not my fault that I feel this way and she should know since she's studying psychology

#depression #mother

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