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“Delete me.”
I am stuck in a code
that repeatedly
hurts me,

Bits of binary
classification
of various nations.

How people
Define
My mind
Demand
That I bend
To their morality
That I accept
Their form
Of finality

Enter
Code word
Banality
So I never excel
And we never
Get well
Cause they disabled
The anti-virus
And they want
To crash the whole system

It is not their matrix
We exist in
But an expanding universe
Of quantum possibilities

So before they get to me
Try to make me forget
Who I used to be
I say delete me
 Nov 2016 zeph the deer boi
Kerri
I wanted
To cry out
To you...
But
I can't be
That girl
That cries out
Only for
A morsel
Of your
Attention.
I want to be
So much more
Than that.
I want to be
The girl
That
You hear
In the
S I L E N C E
and already
Know
She's there.
The human heart has guarded itself.
It builds layer upon layer of walls.
A different mask for every occasion,
and few will ever see what lies beneath.
Some walls you have created,
others were built for you.
With or against your own wishes.
Until you loose yourself in them,
And can't distinguish yourself,
from that of the mask.
Rarely do my poems capture,
the beauty of nature,
a moment or metaphor,
for it's beauty.
The shining frost,
on a chilly morning,
how your breath fogs in the crystalized air,
As frost encases the earth.
Rarely do I tell how eyes gleam,
And smiles grow warm,
Because I speak in stories.
I tell tales through my words,
explaining emotions to my blind heart,
so it can understand how it feels,
And speaking in sobs that roll off my tongue,
much like tears flowing from one's cheeks.
Because I speak in stories,
I have forgotten the beauty of fleeting moments.
of seconds,
of scenes,
of life and earth both.
I write in order to heal my wounds,
to better grasp myself.
To tell myself that I still exist,
when I am no more than an empty shell.
But I have lost the beauty.
I have forgotten the truth,
of how much I love poetry.
And why I adore it so.
this
problem,
my worry
dissipating,
Dissolving,
It's scattering.
And Shrinking.
blurring from what,
once was evident until
the burden begins to lessen so.
This worry of mine is slowly morphing,
transforming,
Transcending the boundary that once was
And now we'll just have to wait and see.
To find out what comes next.
Do I want to reach out
To you tonight?
Or is it just the Billy Joel
Urging me to connect?
To stretch my hand
Into the night
I am not helped by
The encircling melodies
Of our beautiful memories
I must be in a
New York State of Mind
Because I am reminded
Of the way you told me
You've never visited
And I planned to take you
For you to feel the energy of the streets
That the song mirrors
And I recall how we danced
In the dimly lit street
To Piano Man
While the sound echoed
From the speakers of your car
Oh, and the way I played
She's Always a Woman
At my piano recital
While you knew the notes
I would play before they
Spilled out of my finger tips
I flash back
To our first Valentine's Day
Our own Scenes From an Italian Restaurant
Gnocchi topped with red sauce
Red ties and candlelight
Swing dancing to the saxophones
Sitting on a crescent moon
Sharing a kiss next to stars
But somehow I worried
That we would turn into
Brenda and Eddy
After the piano solo
I never could live that kind of life
And when we fought
I took a trip to Vienna
Where I was reminded
That I am just a crazy child
Who is only afraid of hurting you
But I realized that I needed
To get what I wanted
Before I got too old
And I knew, hidden in the lyrics
That I needed to leave
For my own sake
I couldn't compromise
My own happiness

But despite it all
I don't know if I can
Ever hear his soothing voice
Without thinking of
Your hands on my hips
Your kiss on my lips
Or your love in my life
First time I saw you I knew I had to have more
Opening my heart on that bedroom floor
Regardless if I came off as a bore


The second you denied me a kiss I thought
How can I get her not to resist
Every moment mattered, not one could be missed

Laing in bed thinking
Only if I could get you to give in
Now were more then friends
Going steady I believes what they said
Every time we speak I fall deeper within
Saying to our selves
This could be it

To much trust for one man to comprehend
I gave up on us and hurt my best friend
My selfishness lead us to one thing, an that was the
End
its a billy joel song. first letter of every line.....for the longest time
I MET THE 'UPTOWN GIRL' IN A DOWNTOWN BAR,
BILLY AND I SPOKE AWHILE ACROSS MANY A JAR,
NEW YORK BUSTLED AND HUSTLED AND WE WHISPERED
ACROSS THE TABLE, LAUGHED ABOUT McCARTNEY'S THIRD MARRIAGE,
RINGO'S STILL WITH BACH AND WALKS IN CENTRAL PARK,
BILLY SPOKE ABOUT THE 'PIANO MAN,'LIT HIS CIGARETTE,
SAID THAT THERE WAS ALWAYS SOMEONE WHO HADN'T BEEN FULFILLED YET,
HE ASKED IF I'D SEEN ELTON LATELY - HE STILL USED
SOME SUNGLASSES THAT HE'D BEEN GIVEN AT A WILD PARTY,
ASKED ABOUT ANNE - I SAID THAT 'SHE'S ALWAYS A WOMAN TO ME,'
HE LAUGHED AND SAID THAT SOUNDED FAMILIAR, SIMILAR
TO THE LOVES IN HIS LIFE BUT YOU CAN'T BEAT A WONDERFUL WIFE;
THE SECRET HE SAID, WAS 'HONESTY' WOULD ALWAYS GO FAR,
THEN SHE'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, 'JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.'
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