It's shiny.
Brand new out of the box,
It's perfect.
I take my clothes off.
Stand in front of my mirror in bra and *******.
with it in hand.
I look at my fat stomach,
Look at my dead ends,
Look at my pale skin,
look at my big feet.
And every single other imperfection.
I sit on the edge of my bed,
It's still resting in my hand.
I raise my hand,
onto my thick pale thigh I let it touch the skin,
The metal cool against my skin.
I push it in , run it along my skin,
At the sight of red I sigh aloud
"I can do one thing right"

I'm happy. Right?
I mean I must be,
I smile, I laugh.
So I'm happy?
Nope.
Miserable.
I'm slowly dying.
I fake a smile I fake so you won't ask "are you okay?"
Cause truth is,
I'm not okay.
I dying. I'm falling apart piece, by piece.

She walks with her head down,
staring at the ground,
Never locking eyes with those around.
She never goes out,
Never leaves the house.
She doesn't have a crowd,
No one she hangs around.
You call her odd, or flawed.
Maybe even an everyday reject.
Well I call her perfect,
In every aspect.

I lost you once
You were no good
but I loved you
I'll never loose you again
even though you may be poison
You're my kryptonite
And I'm the Superman

Why wasn't I enough
Why couldn't I stop you
Why didn't you believe me when I said it would get better
Why didn't you believe me when I said I love you
Why wasn't me needed you enough
Why did you have to go
I still try
I still text "I love you, It could have gotten better, I still need you"
But it doesn't matter what I say
It won't bring you back
It won't put you back at that desk in homeroom
It won't put you back at your mother's dinner table
It won't put you back in my room every Friday
It won't bring you back to me

If only you knew,
The happiness,
The contentment
The love
that your touch
Your glance
Your words
Can make me feel.
You make me feel wanted,
desired,
cared for, safe.
Just by your very glance i'd melt at your feet.
I guess the only word for this feeling is
Fake
you never really cared
you never really loved
you never really felt anything for me accept for desire
desire for my body
not my soul
and that
that made me feel so many more feelings
That, that can only be described as true heartbreak

My heart hurts.
From the damage that you've dealt it.
From the damage I've dealt it.
From the hurt the world has caused me.
You tell me I'm no good.
Okay, I guess i'm no good,
I'll try harder.
You tell me I'm a **** and attention *****.
That I try too hard.
Well then I won't try at all.
I'll hide myself.
Have I pleased you yet?
No?
What could I have done wrong?
Now you say I'm shy and lazy.
You tell me,
Why would somebody want you?
I don't know, I just wish somebody would want me.

We spend so much time behind a screen.
Behind a wheel...a window.
Why?
Why not break the glass?
Why not touch, and experience what you desire?
Why watch them go to that country?
Why not take yourself there?
Money?
If you didn't buy that tablet, phone, computer,or TV.
You could explore to your heart's content.
If you didn't pay that Internet bill.
Or that Phone plan.
You'd have enough money.
Enough to break the glass.
To touch and experience.
To go there.