Carrying love and letting it go.
Another day, another sellout angel.
Blame the town, watch the light decay.
We turn our cheeks and look away.
Now that I've turned my back,
Go ahead. Fire away.
You tear the truth apart, left it with the pieces of my heart.
I just wanted to hold you,
To feel you with me.
Instead, I was left choking on irony.
Maybe..
Maybe it was better off this way.
I could see the empty gaze,
Your silence told me everything.
How long will you know my name?
Sometimes,
When you cross my mind,
I still tend to cry.
My unspoken love to the best friend I lost.

I love you. I want to give you every part of me that I can. My body, my mind, my heart..
I fall more and more in love with you every day.
They say that true love exists when you want only the best for that person. When you would do anything to make sure they are happy, even if that means they are with someone else. When you can sit down and imagine your life 10, 20, 50years down the road and that person is still by your side.
I ask myself all the time if those are things in capable of, especially with the curve ball life decided to throw into the mix. And I keep coming back to yes, I am capable of those things.
If going to Texas is the best, and only, option, then I want you to go there. In my perfect dream world I would go with you. Pack our things, drive away, and start a new life there. But who knows what is going to happen.
I do want you to be happy, and down the line if that means you find yourself giving your heart to someone else, I will accept that. I can be a cat lady if that day comes. Haha. But until that day comes, if it does, I will be by your side, through thick and thin.
Everytime I picture my life years from now, you are the only person I see myself with. You're the only man I want to give myself to again.
You don't need to feel like I am too good for you, or that you don't deserve me.
I am yours, don't ever forget that.
I love you Luke.
Forever and Always.
-Amber

What if when they tell us
"And God said let there be light",
that it meant,
Us, as spiritual beings are God,
And to open our eyes to the idea that love is the light,
Loving for the sake of love.

The head and the heart seem to be at battle inside me.
My heart is full of the love that emanates from him. There is a light that had been ignited, growing brighter and warmer as each day passes. His love slowly picking up the fragile remains of my past, patching up the holes that have been left behind. I finally feel the love and appreciation I have always longed for.
My mind knows that the love is real and yet I am full of such...apprehension.  Something stops me from letting my guard down. I am still filled with unease when I hear his phone ring. I'm still scared of getting my heart broken again. I don't distrust him. I know its my arms he wants wrapped around him at night.
This battle makes me feel crazy. I don't want to be the reason for the hurt behind his eyes. I don't want to be the one that causes pain instead of healing a broken heart.
With all the love I feel surrounding me, why does it still feel like there is something inside cracking? Like ice.
Is the ice inside me unthawing and cracking because of the warmth that grows from my soul or is the ice slowly creeping up my walls, another precautious barrier subconsciously forming to guard potential heartbreak.
I just want to finally live in peace, imaging our possible future. I don't want to be in any other arms, I don't want to be a part of any other mans life.
How do I stop this unnecessary battle inside from tearing this apart?

the sound of a family breaking
it's that of thunder
and waves crashing
hiding everything
gets to be too difficult
and soon you call it quits
8 unplanned births,
2 marriages
and a suicide later
something's gotta give
they say a child wants nothing more
than to feel accepted by their parents
if dad isn't around, that only leaves her
head in the clouds
refusing to look down
weak-willed and beautiful
good intentions with even better connections
like the plague
one, two, three, four
crying and whimpering by the door
he'll stop
once she's back
or when the dope
drops him
to the floor
needles, spoons, cotton, dealers
play a bigger role
more to give than
children wanting attention
it isn't anything new
not anymore
memorized phone numbers
sickness and disease
excuses and lies
long nights and strange men
money and ***
sweating and shivering
multiple cell phones
mustn't ever die
who am I
to judge another
coming from a broken background
with a tattered mother
never had a stable house
let alone a place to call home
older siblings
calling you out
as an "inspiration?"
the only thing inspiring
is their next fix
tears
few and far
between these days
sympathy and empathy
they become foreign words
over-attachment turns to detachment
ultimatums given too often
hugging with shaky arms
tears welling to pleading eyes
she squeezes once more
with a kiss to the forehead
and they spill over
with a throat of fire
maybe that's where the name comes from
afterall, needing is second nature to them

I tasted me from your lips,
sipping moonshine from a mason jar.
You were always wild that way,
playful like an alley cat,
fat in all the right places.
I loved it when you were swollen,
you'd sit next to me in the shadows
& we both make a pact with the devil
when we did **** like that.
Matter of fact,
you had bigger ***** than most guys.
That was a major attraction for me,
a **** crazy babe
who could kick a man's ***
is a rarity these days.

How do you do this? How is it that you make me feel so at home? I let my guard slip so easily when I'm with you.
What do you do that draws me in such way? Makes me want to let you in, explore the world inside my head. I want to let you wander where my darkest secrets reside.
Ill give you the key, allow you to dance with my demons. Just as long as I may do the same. I think our monsters would play well, eventually they could even be friends.
Its like you have awakened this fire deep inside me. Illuminating the corners that I've been too afraid to explore.
All of my fears seem to disappear.  Its almost like you are building this new realm, a world meant for just us