I don't want to be content with what I know
I don't want to wake up to that regular normal life
The predicatable pattern
The usual circle

I want to to challenge my reality
My ever constant changing perception
Expound on my imagination

I don't want to settle for that regular normal life
I don't want to live and not taste the waters
I don't want to be limited by "this is how it's always been"

I want to deeply and empathetically  analyze
Transform the meaning of reason
Offer a vacuum of doubt instead of acceptance
Be critical in our dawning reality

I want to listen, truly listen and observe
I want to know why you believe what you belive
I want to think

i fear i am too much for you.

too many feelings,
both good and bad.

too many opinions,
too much anxiety,
too much noise.

i'm afraid you don't want me anymore,
now that you've gotten to know me.

now that you've realized how clingy i am,
how i thrive off of attention,
how much trauma i've been through and how badly it has affected me.
now that you know how honest i am,
how much i overshare with some people,
and never share with others.
now that you are aware how the smallest thing can put me in the worst mood,
how i need constant validation or i shut down.

i am so ******* terrified,
that i've scared you away.

just by showing you who i am

you'll always be the one.
although we never touched hands or met eyes,
i can still feel you even though you're not here anymore.
you're my stars,
my moon.
the reason why the earth spins.
but i still feel empty sometimes.
i can't feel you sometimes.
proving to the sky that this is for you gets tiring sometimes but that will never stop me.
you're my best friend.
there's letters in my closet written to your name.
notebooks filled with bundles of words that have captured your existence,
as if it could.
sketches and paintings hung up that are you,
they're trees in the morning,
the sky hugging the world,
flowers in hands,
they're all you.
you'll always be the one.
and until we meet again friend,
i love you.

Theres a girl I know
That walks the shore
her hair, stranded gold.
Her eyes are emeralds
drenched in sunlight.
Her nose of noble mould

She's clumsy but she's grace
She doesn't like her heels
She can take her bra off with shirt in place
She gives me magical feels

Her smile is pure adrenaline
Her legs are silken cloth
The junction drives my mind insane
Her, blazing fire. Me, awestruck moth

I thought I'd loved, in my past
In fact, I knew I had
I've cradled my blood soaked heart
In hands of molten sand

But looking at my fruity girl
Drives all that bunk away
She makes me smile and dance and twirl
She makes me happy, Everyday.