You told me
That you didn't want to have to dissociate
From me,
From my irrationality,
From my emotions.
I think that would have hurt me,
A lot,
If i had let it.
As it so happens,
Out of spite,
Im going to do it to you.

Motivate me to become a diffusion of blood in the sky of your happiest nightmares.

I'm sitting here,
I've been sitting here,
For hours.
Clicking and tapping;
Messaging all these people,
In the hopes I'll feel connected.

**** this.


*I want to be held.

I am tired of being away
From the beauty of you.
Your little moans and sighs
In your sleep,
Or your rather big moans
And sighs as I touch you,
And ***** you.
Your giggles and snuggles
And the bickering.
Basically,
I am so in love with you.

First thought,
First hope,
Excitement; I see you today
Reluctance to view the hours before you
But you'd be upset if I lived for you,
So I live for me
Breakfast, bus ride, business as usual
But a crying friend at the other end.
Heartbreak will find us all, darling,
I just hope it isn't at the hands of one another.
More food, more art, more friends.
No more crying, emotions are back.
And then I see you, purple hair and polished
Grin I've seen a thousand times but
Gives me strength to stand.

And then everything is so loud and so quiet
All at once, and everything is as it should be.

I had never considered the difference
Between good bruises and bad bruises,
But there are good ones on my skin
And bad ones on my brain.

You don't make many noises,
But God, when you do,
I lose my mind just a little bit.

Late in the night
Or early morning,
I long for your hands on me;
To feel the flutter
Of your eyelashes
As you kiss and bite
Down the skin of my neck,
Then *******, then stomach.
It is a curse to lust
After you so much,
To feel the echo
Of your fingers inside me.
My body responds
To the thought of you now.
I am burning up,
Set alight by you,
Your breath turning me to cinder.

I don't want to die alone.

Now that you know
What goes on in my head
I feel like touching you
Is electric.
People don't usually
Care to notice
My mind
But you do,
And it's that good kind
Of terrifying.

Watch me scramble up the walls
Of the box I put my brain in.
I'll peep over the top
And wave
And call out about the things
I can see
And you wish you could see,
But if you saw the way you looked to me,
You'd think i was crazy
Because you look so **** radiant
And i feel so **** free.

I want to touch you.*

For such a tiny, silent action
The desire to do so is screaming
In my head.

May I have you back, now?
It's been too long
That I've not had you in my arms.

Lust and love and possession
Have all merged.

Now what I feel for you
Is the desire to have you close,
so close to me.

Whatever way that is,
Wherever, whenever.

Just be close to me
And set my nerves on fire.

Whispers of cloud
Glazed by the surrender of the sun
To the cruelty of darkness.
But my life
Is never cast in the bleakness of night
When your radiance consumes me.

With tracks down your arms,
You said to me as we sat by the rails
How much you wanted
To throw yourself under
And welcome the thundering roar
Of the next oncoming train.

I hate you.
I cannot look at a passing train,
Cannot sit calmly and stare out of the window
Because every time I hear the engines,
I think about what you said to me
And the girl you promised to love.

*I hate you.

How many years
Have I been dreaming
About sleepy kisses
With you?

I want to cut you out of me,
But you leave splinters in my skin.
Where do I begin?
In removing you, I must remove a part of me
Only then can I be free.
Can I be free of you?
For a single moment, maybe?
Or am I doomed to live my life being happy
For a second
Only to drown in the guilt
Of not making you happy, too.

And there is nothing on this planet, or the next
That will change that any time soon.
You are the light in my eyes ,
And the bounce in my step
And the teasing smile as I turn to kiss you.
Be mine, for as long as you wish
Because in my heart, darling boy,
You have made a home.

I am afraid to hurt you,
But I am willing to do it
If you hurt me first.

So be careful, my friend
Or I will disect you
With my own emotion.

I crave this;
I need this drug.
A chemical that makes me warm and calm.
Say pretty things, petty things
And overdose me on promises.

If I had a cut in my hand
For every time I wanted to help you,
I would be a never ending ribbon
Of torn flesh and rusted nails.
But it wouldn't come close to the agony
Of being unable to cease your pain.

It's a dangerous thing,
To want to be this close to someone.
But when you are skin to skin,
And mouth to mouth,
You just want to get *so much closer.

The idea of you wanting someone else,
Is almost as bad as the idea that
You're going to get very bored of me,
Someday.