My heart feels like
it's about to shut down
from all the truths
that only I know

People view me
as kind
selfless
heartfelt
with empathy

Yet once they witness
my darker side
this inner demon
that is always
a few steps behind me

Once they see
the ashes and smeared blood
tainted within my mind and heart

I am once again alone
alone to pick up the pieces 
of a love that never was

I will write you
The real you
In a different light

I will write you
Until you root for yourself
Until you find yourself
Until you realise you deserve the things you dreamt of
Until you realise you can dream more

I love you
But I don't know if I'm in love with you

It breaks my heart
Knowing I could break yours.

Count your blessings,
Say a prayer,
Spit out one and all,
Your one of the survivors where so many others fall.

faith
the
flicker of light
in
the
pitch dark night
where
faith
touch your heart
then
faith
brings you sight