I fear the thought of failure
my name written in the dirt
spat upon
Standing in line
picked out
like a painting
framed,
ashamed of what..
of who I've become
The mistakes
the bad things
Horrible
Unkind
I look back down
at my name in the dirt
a gravelly scribble
I grab a stick,

*Strikethrough.

My name
Is
Allie

My story
Is
Lost

My past
Is
Absent

And
Me?

*I've vanished.

Closing my eyes
Accepting the darkness
Isolated from the crowd
And I'm a confined human
Bathing in laughter that isn't mine
Living a lie in the oak tree shade
Shivering in the hail that covers the land
Around me. The hail that makes everything ice.



Accept it. Please.
*PLEASE

Like the current
in the ocean,
soft spoken words
crash against
the bone tough
cliff.

Like a buried treasure
one turn from being released,
you're on the verge
of opening me.

I don't know why
I let myself get this way
in such futile games
I partake in
and love to play.

If I had
longer hair,
would you ask for
my number?

If I was
a little prettier
would you be
kinder?

If I was
a little thinner,
would you
stay the night?


Be careful.


Once that treasure
opens up,
the gold will float
to the top.

Shinning
and gleaming
from the rays beaming
out of your
godly halo,




from the depths
of my sunken
heart.