A spinning mind , lying in wait
like a remorseless assassin
Taking my wide expanse of natural -
pleasure , reducing it to one small -
ant exploring a stepping stone , a drop -
of rain squeezed from an otherwise benign cloud , poetic fervor into pathetic doubt
No song banter on depression mornings
Black and white stupor , life turned boring
Cumulative poisoned psychology , could anyone find the color in my -wretched dichotomy* ...

I know you have been hurt before
And every trust becomes the blood
We won't see moons when we close our eyes
We won't see stars in our scars
And we may breathe
Still the air wont taste so sweet
Like a house falling into the sea
Like the pain can't be relieved
I know you have been hurt before
And hands could never heal you
And life teaches that we should be numb
With only one way that I can feel
Only love

I never fell in love with you
Falling implies disillusion
As if i didnt know exactly
What i was in for
When i looked into your eyes
And found constellations
That i had searched for
My whole life

It implies a failed understanding
Like i had walked off a long pier
And suddenly found you there
In the water, holding me
Instead of rushing to the water
Knowing you would be there
To catch me when i dropped
And never drowned

I never fell in love with you
I grew love for you
A slow budding bloom
That became a vibrant blossom
Ever growing, ever changing
I swelled love for you
It rising and falling
Like an unsure tide
On a new-formed shore

I built love for you
A home of it
All bricks and mortar
In the sacred parts of myself
Where you are always welcome
To walk through the door
And never fall.

Your family home
has been sold
to the cultured,
the old vultures
feeding on the garden
thick with rabbits
and your father's dead
daughters, you sleep
in a pickup, tired
of work near the water,
fond of the instant,
you travel through
the country you know,
farm long forgotten,
the word free written
in red ******* your arm.

There's a typhoon a monsoon
Of catastrophic misery, agony, and doom
The pain keeps raining down
In my sorrow I will surely drown
An ocean of emotion and I can't swim
My soul's light is growing dim
The sky just keeps bleeding
My tolerance it's exceeding
In this inky blackness I am sinking
My soul keeps on shrinking
From this psychalgia there is no exception
There is no redemption
In this anguish
Is where I'll languish
In this tribulation I will suffer
There is no hope I will ever recover
In this desolation I will moan and wail
This despair is my last coffin nail

I used to gather
where the bridge crossed the bay
Pausing in the ebb of
the changing tide .
I tried to capture
the moment of the ebb's decay

She came to me
with soft words of call
Left messages saying
she's not sure about it at all

The sea follows the
ways we know not
our separation was complete
we left our ancient past behind
to tread upon this land
on our own two feet

Shake the dust from your call
dress the shadows
make the sun fall
words of deliverence
wet the tongue's
parchment and thirst

The tide remains constant
demanding , relevant
with unrelenting presence
It is married to the bay
In a never ending struggle
of give and take