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Feb 2022 · 115
Untitled
i told the stars about you tonight
they glistened and dazzled as if they were dancing
they carried my words to the moon
she shined so bright not a cloud dared to dim her beauty
she whispered them to the sun when she rose
when she did rise it was with such fierceness and passion
the sky looked as if it was on fire
the sun then kissed the wind and carried your essence back to me
you swam around me like the rain of a hurricane
embracing me with every lasting moment
enveloping me with the sweet smell of home
Jan 2020 · 93
Nicotine High
I love how you smoke that cigarette
How you touch it to your silk lips
Breathe in deeply
Exhale slowly

I envy that cigarette
How it can taste your tongue
Let you breathe her in
Consume all she has to offer
Over and over

I wish I could give you a fraction of what she offers
Jan 2020 · 206
Hydrangeas at 3am
Perhaps we never truly met
until I heard your voice of flowers
spill hydrangeas across the carpet
of my bedroom at 3 am.

Those whispers of nothingness
that smell oh so sweetly in the night
begin to wither away as sunrise creeps in
through the window I forgot to close tight.
Jan 2020 · 51
Dying With Insomnia
These brittle bones make my knees shake
Arms heavy with the weight of exhaustion
My feet drag across the ground
Always too tired to pick them up
So they scrap the broken pieces of me
That lay across this grass

Tearing apart my aching feet
Wishing I could pick them up
And carry myself to you
But they are bruised and bleeding
Making me stay

These weeds grow around my limbs
Breaking my brittle bones with ease
I’ll lay here in agony
Playing with these leaves that have fallen from dying trees
Breaking apart in my hands

The weeds have consumed my organs
I tried to **** them with pesticides
But they are infectious
Sprouting up into my lungs
Flowering into abandonment and doubt
Flourishing and burying me beneath the earth

My mouth tastes of copper
And all I see is black
All I can think of is these weeds
That have grounded up my skin
And dragged me into the dirt
I fight to breathe but all I can smell is rotting bones and flesh
I try to claw my way out but deaths got a grip

I whisper my cries of agony as I sink deeper
A corpse bride is all I am
Married to this life of suffering which has no end
I’m tired
So I’ll let the weeds consume me
Fueling my insomnia
Breaking apart my will to escape this reality into a world of make believe
Aug 2018 · 313
Simon Says
Sleep.
Sleep child,
til' the light overpowers the darkness inside,
where I secretly cried.
I secretly tried,
but no one would guess,
and I never put my cards face up.
You'll just tell me to shut up.
The things I used to patch up,
the cut and scratch up,
caused by the dull
of my pencil,
and my soul.
I fell,
but I dragged myself up again,
back into my daily skin,
and I'm that burden.
That one whose not fully there,
told by everyone, "you just don't care",
with a random shudder scare.
The words I despise you all think,
even the shrink,
and it drowns me to the sink.
I'm that disaster,
everyone's after,
maniacal laughter.
"Am I losing my mind?"
"Is this mind really mine?"
"Would dying be fine?"
I'm not so refined
I can see the things in perfect imagery,
things I don't want to see,
always worried everyone hates me.
I can see,
I'm not me,
I'm not even a somebody.
Maybe inside is some other ghost,
I'm the host,
at my death let's just have a toast.
Til' death do we part,
take it as a new start,
buy the roses to my grave from walmart.
I didn't think I mattered anyways,
sleeping through these pass-me-by days,
my mind playing simon says.
I always secretly try,
but I am still I,
and now simon says ".....goodbye."
Aug 2018 · 254
Reminiscence
Trying to convince my shadow,
I'm worth following.
Aug 2018 · 363
Sunset
A distant look in her eyes,
Stretching beyond the horizon.
A battle long fought,
In her dreams so surreal.
A thousand miles did she walk,
Before pausing to rest.
But the lights began to fade,
For it was time for her sunset.
Feb 2018 · 288
Contents Or Is It My Shell?
i can never tell if i am more haunted by empty picture frames or the ashes of their contents
Feb 2018 · 554
Beauty and Not
though she  walks  a beautiful  road
    that  is  not  all  there  is.

bathed in brilliance
    flowing through her  being  as  if  it
      were  in her veins.

courage surges from  every orifice:
       a  warrior,  underestimated,   unappreciated

   head  among the clouds
      sun kissed eyes   blind
to  the  adverse

        lips graced  with  a  wisdom  beyond  the  years
  worn
       refined
radiant patience brushed  over  her skin

so though she walks  with  flowers  in  her  hair
     beauty   is  not  all  there  is.
As much as I miss you, dear,
I cannot keep watering dead flowers,
Not even an IV can save them now.
Why I'm still trying is unclear,
But I've been giving CPR for hours,
Trying to save this somehow.

I cannot keep watering dead flowers.
I cannot keep tangling with powers
Way beyond my ken.
I cannot keep hoping for more.
I cannot keep fighting this war
And losing all over again.
Feb 2018 · 743
Can Pain Control Existence?
The deeper you sink
The darker it gets.
Sunlight fades into nothing,
Sound becomes a dream.
The pressure, the weight
Will rise beyond belief.
People will forget you
And you will forget them.

So all I can say is swim,
Don't let yourself drown
Because it doesn't matter
If you're swimming or sinking,
Pain will find you either way.
And if you don't believe me,
Believe this. I've been there.

I've been at rock bottom,
I've been at sky high.
But no matter where I'm at,
Pain has this way of finding me.
I hurt right now
For things out of reach,
But I know how to control
How much pain controls me.
Nov 2017 · 307
Perished Dreams
when I perish,
pray embers of burning fireflies
harvest me into organic soil,
plead for my soul to swim to clouds of wool,
dwell in the sky like dead stars.

when I perish,
hide far from that uncontrollable sickness of despair
that will strive to chase you.
waltz there, on the fragmented earth belonging to me,
waltz as if there's an unheard beat of elegant melodies,
soaring through you.

when I perish,
keep the fear at bay,
and the hope where you can reach it.
For I am not remote,
I am just away,
inhaling royal tides of bloodless seas.

when I perish,
think of me and try to dream.
Nov 2017 · 206
Morning Light
I want to wake up next to you
all wrapped up in your arms
with your heartbeat against mine,
your breath in my ear,
and warm sunshine on blankets
to keep us warm.
Nov 2017 · 178
Mirror Pictures
Skinned ghosts and spilled ink
In a sack of flesh
My very own.
Mar 2017 · 443
Fostering A Monster
I foster a monster,
Of my own creation.
"self-defeating" he slithers.
As his skin festers into smiling,
Unrelenting and repeating.
So I slit my throat,
With the cold knife of self-loathing.
Coating my skin,
With a red dress,
Of the life I've been wasting.
//What we were, and what we are. But who are we?//
Feb 2017 · 331
Mindless End
I can't seem to find the mind,
                                              That met it's bitter end.
Feb 2017 · 489
Empty Flower
We are the flowers,
Buried,                                  
In a garden,                                              
Of emptiness.
Feb 2017 · 317
Captivated Mind
Walls forever hold,
The breath that never escaped,
Their mouths.
Jan 2017 · 242
Terribly Bright
Smoke clears,
Dead fears,

Drowning helpless,
But no one hears.

Silent scream,
Distant gleam,

Wishing this blood,
Was just a dream.
Jan 2017 · 229
Life
Coming into the world,
      Like a disease,
                                  Captured,
By reality.
Apr 2016 · 327
Take
Cut my wrists,
And slit my hips,
Cut my legs,
And steal my lips.
So you can take my heart,
And take my eyes.
You can take your love,
And take your lies.
Apr 2016 · 365
Heart Vs. Mind
His smile is wide,
               But his scars are deep,
                 His eyes are bright,
               But his pulse is weak,
                 His heart says fight,
               But his mind says die.
                 His hand is steady,
                 As he ends his life.
Apr 2016 · 299
Disquise
Cuts on my hips,
Bloodon my lips.
Can't you see?
I'm begging down on my knees.
I just want to be free.
Don't you see?
Blade against my wrist,
I'm sure I won't be missed.
Don't be surprised,
When you see my disguise.
Feb 2016 · 346
Shit Happens
You said you'd cry,
Well that was all a lie.
You said you cared,
That you meant the feelings we shared.
Well where are you?
I wish I knew.
I wish you were here,
Because I'm Living my biggest fear.
Your words mean nothing now,
I just don't understand how.
How you could lie to me,
How I though I could have thought that your love was free.
But I guess,
**** happens.
Feb 2016 · 307
With Those Words
Red seeps out from my arms,
Tears leak down to my cheeks.
What have I done?
Is this...
Really who I've beome?
Staring at the red pooling at my feet,
I'm already in so deep.
I can't escape this horrid scene.
Why did I have to be so mean?
Why can't I be nice for a change?
Instead, I'm over here acting like a firing range.
Please forgive me,
And with those final words, I was finally free.
Jan 2015 · 417
It's Not Enough
It's not enough
The price we pay
Of getting our hearts broken
It's not enough
the price we pay
Of bruised feelings
It's not enough
The price we pay
Of getting our backs stabbed
It's not enough
The price we pay
Of these small acts of kindness
Aren't enough to quench my thirst
The price we
Just isn't enough
Dec 2014 · 383
Just Don't Even Try
You can't save what's already gone.
You can try with all your might.
But you can't bring back what's already dead.
Just like the love we had.
I tried to save it.
You'd pick up the pieces.
And rebuild.
But you would just knocking it down.
Like ******* legos.
This isn't a **** game.
This isn't about who can disengage the other the fastest.
So don't try and save what's already gone.
You'll just end up trying to save a lost cause.
I am obsessed,
This is true.
The heart that pumps, that keeps you alive is all I want.
Seems kinda selfish,
But that's what I want.
But I know that I can't have it,
Because I'd break it.
And that beautiful person you were,
Will turn cold and lifeless.
Just like me.
I don't want you to be me.
I've had my heart broken and torn,
Not I'm just an empty girl with no heart.
So go live your life,
Be beautiful and be happy.
I'll always be around,
So don't you worry about that.
But I'll keep my distance.
Far, far away from your heart.
Oct 2014 · 498
The Clock Is Ticking
Don't even bother
You can't save me
You can't even save yourself
Where are you?
I need your help
They are grabbing ahold of me
And they won't let go

You can't hear my screams
My cries for help
Where are you?
I need you
They are dragging me down

I fear what's going on in my mind
What terrible thinks I conjure up
The demons must be proud
For I have fallen
Right Into their hands

Where were you?
I really needed you
But now it's too late
I've already fallen
So save yourself
Before it's too late
Don't let the demons get ahold of you like they did to me. It's too late to help me now, save yourself... Before it's too late.
Death waits for me like the rain staining my windows
My days start to feel shorter and pointless

Twisted inside
Demented in my dreams
I fear my demons
That make me scream

The nightmare
The pain
All the tears
All my fears

There's no escapeing this hell
Pounding amd crashing
Please
I beg you
Stop ringing the bell

It signals my fate
I know where I'm headed
I tried to warn you
Tried to stop you
But i knew it was too late
Sep 2014 · 398
Truth Is
The truth is I don't want to fly
The sky isn't as beautiful as I remember it...
Once so blue
Now so grey
Truth is I want to go my own way
Use my feet and not my broken wings
Truth is im still fighting my demons
They battle me head first
They give me no time to react
Truth is I don't fit in
But that's ok
Truth is I needed help but got tired of asking
Truth is I'm trying to be ok
Trying to fix my ****** up life that I live
So hold my hand and show me that the world is really ok and that it's just the demons talking
Until I get caught up in my own again
But untill then
I don't want to fly
Sep 2014 · 682
Don't Go Changing Things
I am me
And nothing can change me
Except me
You are you
Only you can change you
So don't got and pluck everyone's feathers
Just so you can paint them how you want them to be
Sep 2014 · 639
In Her Dreams
She calls to me
In her sleep
Full of happiness and love
We dance and sing through the night
In her dreams
But alas
Its short loved
For when she opens her eyes
All is lost
All is forgotten
Just a figment of her imagination
Will I be
She won't remember me
Just stray bits and pieces
Of what we had
But when she closes her eyes once more
Ill be there to greet her
In the world un known
Sep 2014 · 397
Her
Her
It's like I can finally breath
Like all the weight
Has lifted off my shoulders
All my problems
Are just gone
All I see is her
All I notice is her
She's reeled me in so close
Im like putty in her hands
She makes me want to fly
To chase my dreams and soar
When she smiles,
I know its just for me
Sep 2014 · 535
Found You
She found me
I found her
Now ill never let her go
She makes me smile when I used to frown
She makes me laugh when i used to growl
She hugs me when im cold
Cuddles me when im sad
She's definitely the one for me
The only one for me
Sep 2014 · 294
See Me For Me
Like a lighting bolt
I strike quick
And I strike fast
And I hit deadly.
I'm not all bad, you see.
I have a heart.
Well I did before it was broken and beaten.
I have a soul.
For it is a bottomless pit of darkness.
A war wages in my mind.
Good Vs. Evil
But we already know which sides winning,
For I am already in your closet.
Waiting for you to come home.
I'll sneek into your kids room of you have any.
Trail my finger along there cheek,
Then snap thier pretty necks.
I'll drink their blood of course,
don't want it to go to waist.
Then I'll creep back into your room,
Quiet as can be.
I'll turn on your light,
You'll finally see me for me.
Sep 2014 · 372
Crazy? Nah.
I can feel the last few beats of your heart.
I listened to the slow dying thumps it made...
Thump...
Thump........
Thump.............
Then it goes still.
I hold it in my hand.
The blood running down my wrists.
I took your heart and threw it in a trash can.
Just like you did with mine.
Sep 2014 · 378
Just one more...
My hands are stained red
What have I done?
I look down at the mangled body
By class mate lays still
It all comes back to me
I lost control
I stumble and fall
I killed her
But...
What's this feeling Inside of me?
Satisfaction?
And...
Glee?
I lick my finger tips
Her blood still warm and soft
I could still taste her sweet screams on my tongue
I shuddered
Maybe just one more...
Should I continue this "story?"
If you think so, comment below! Ideas are welcomed
Sep 2014 · 378
Shits and Giggles
People call me the
Monster
the Demon
The Devils Daughter
You know what?
All be all that
And much
MUCH
More
Sep 2014 · 532
Fire Breathing Psycho
Here
Let me correct you my good man
Im a demon
From the lowest depths of hell
Sep 2014 · 333
Myself and Me
I play the demon myself

No puppets involved
Sep 2014 · 296
Maybe It's True
This could have been a much peaceful world had my mother aborted my demon soul
My teeth are red
My chest is empty
My soul is black
I wasn't born this way
But what do you expect from a demon?
A fairy Princess?
Jokes on you
Your next
Sep 2014 · 332
Ask Yourself
Ask yourself one question
Is she really different?
She may not look EXACTLY like you but,
She's human just like you.
She has hair just like you.
She has a nose just like you.
She has a heart just like you.
She has feelings like you do.
So ask yourself again
Is she really different?
Sep 2014 · 453
Look At Me Now
A wicked laugh escapes my throat
I've got you in my sights
Your not getting away this time
I'll get you back for the times you made a fool of me
All the times you laughed at me
All the times you made me cry
But look who's crying now
Sep 2014 · 1.5k
Psychotic Demon
I scream
Bu no ones hears me
I fall
No one catches me
I send out my heart
No one takes it
Well...
Now I'm just a soulless monster
A Psychotic Demon at best
Now you fear me
Now you notice me
But it's too late to save yourself
I already ate your heart
Sep 2014 · 332
Once More
They say she's broken
Can never be the same
They say that no one will lover her
Not even a rat
Well that's just cold
Cause I know how she feels
To be lost and lone
Who am I to disagree?
Me and her
We go way back
We are the best of friends
Like two peas in a ***
They called us weird
Freaks even
But we ignored them
Didn't hear the words
But when we went home
We would cry
The names hurt
but we found something to help with the pain
We hid the razors well
They wait atop the mirror
Waiting to be stained in red once more
Sep 2014 · 398
I'm Not
I'm not the prettiest girl
I don't wear the best clothes
I don't havr perfect teeth
Or perfect vision
I don't have a big ****
Or the perfect waist for you to hold
Or the perfect lips for you to kiss
But I do have a heart to love
Sep 2014 · 2.7k
Worthless
Why do I care so much?
Your not staying
Your leaving soon
You don't even like me
But I can't seem to let you go
I've tried to block my feelings
Tried to cry them away
Nothing seems to work
Nothing will ever be enough
Why can't you see that I'm here for you?
Why can't you look at me like you look at her?
It's because I'm worthless...
Isn't it?
Because I'm not worth the while
Not worth the time
Not worth the effort
Well
*******
Forget you
But
The thing is
I won't be able to forget about you...
Sep 2014 · 396
You Said
You'll forget about me
You'll move on
Won't be back
You said you'd call...
My phone's been silent
You said you'd write...
My mailbox is empty
You said you cared
You never did
Was it all a lie?
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