I used to grow up believing everyone was a Christian
I've never heard of combat
Everyone was always happy
It was world peace on Earth
Everyone was a Republican
But I guess that's just because I'm Texan
I never knew pain existed
I never knew love and hate could be used in the same sentence
I never knew love followed bawling fists
I never knew love could be aborting your unborn baby for the sake of yourself
I never knew love was selfish
I never knew what it mean like to feel dead
Because each day made me feel more alive
I thought everyone would have a gateway into Heaven
I never knew one could ****** to no mercy
Whether it's oneself or another
It is still ******
I used to think it never got stormy
I would always wake up to the birds chirping
And the sun shining
The smell of coffee strong in the house
Breakfast ain't breakfast if you ain't got meat
I never knew bullying existed
I was just always a jolly 'ole girl
And I still try for the sake of humanity
But sometimes my foot falls into the hole on the sidewalk
Oh! My innocent kid thoughts.

Everyone has shoulders to fill
Tears that shed
A burden upon the soul
A gaping, flaming heart
Either from love or hate
Everyone carries burdens
Some just smile a little more
Some just don't think about the weight
They live a better life
There are times when you can't change what you bear
But you can change the way you carry it
Don't walk with your head down
Keep your head held high and back straight
Learn how to bear your weight
Because truth be told, we are all filled with burdens
We are all running to a finish line that doesn't exist.

She walks in the hallways nothing but couples holding hands and proclaiming their love to one another. She stares at awe, wishing for one day to be married and to never divorce, but the timing is just not right for her. She's a sucker for romance novels, she's loves getting lost in their magic. All her friends are dating now, but she is not ready for commitment. She is not ready for the heartache, or the pain of getting hurt. She pushes everybody away once they start to develop feelings for her. She's afraid of getting hurt, so she must hurt them before they can hurt her. She slowly pushes them away and she slowly creeps into the shadows afraid of being seen by the boys. Oh! But by midnight, she'll be up all night reading some romance novel, but she is not ready and she is content with not being ready. Relationships are normal, they say, relationships are natural, the say, but they will never look within her heart for she will never give herself up like that. She is afraid of men. She is afraid of boys. She is afraid of confiding her love in someone that can leave right before her very eyes. She is not ready for her romance novels to be fake, she still lives in her dreams and in her dreams, no one gets hurt, but this is the real world and she is bound to get hurt. She locks up her heart, only willing to give it to the man who stays to find the key gravely contained within Her soul, way beyond a human's ability. She does not want her imagination on love to be fake. She does not and will not let a boy ruin her expectations on love. She is too young for that. After High School, you'll forget me and I'll forget you. Nothing will work, everything is only temporary. She is not ready for commitment. We are too young to commit ourselves way beyond the next minute. I am not ready. I am afraid of boys. I am afraid of men. I am afraid of getting hurt. I am afraid of commitment. I am afraid of never being loved. I am afraid of being loved. They just don't get it! Men are stronger and more aggressive and just like that, they can make way with you. I am not ready for that. I am not ready for love. I am afraid of being loved. I am simply afraid.

They say everything good happens under the stars
Yet there is room for one more on the bed of my Chevy
I packed a picnic for us and brought an extra pillow
Even though I would usually use you chest
The brim of your cup bares no lip marks
The inside of my truck bares all the memories of us
It is a warm night and I am shivering
Where have you gone?
You have parted like the wind
And erased me from your memory
I close my eyes and whisper your name into the dark
A bottle of Whiskey in hand
All the memories are drowning me
I gasp and breathe for air
I guess forever was just a lie and our love wasn't as strong as I thought
I open my eyes and see you here
I take your hand and dance off to the moonlight
Who would've known I was dancing with an angel?
You pull me in for a kiss
And whisper, "I love you," against my lips
You pull my hair, I tug your shirt
We went skinny dipping in the lake
Then, I open my eyes
And realize it was just another dream transformed and written as a poem
Where have you gone?
You should be here with me
I dream you up next to me
Wrapped in your right embrace
Kissing me from head to toe promising the future
I loved you and you loved me
Wasn't that enough?
I lie under the stars
Dreaming of us being in love and having a future
Where everyday is a dance
My alarm goes off and my eyes flutter up
My heart is racing
My bed is drenched in tears
It was just another dream of us
In a life that will never happen
Why couldn't live just be like books?
Why can't you just notice me?
I hit snooze on my alarm and just close my eyes for a few seconds
I let the dreams envelop me
If only dreams could come true
But until then
This is the only form of us that I know
This is the only way I can keep us alive
If only, I could dream forever
If only, I was enchanted
I smile as the dreams come rushing in
My eyes fluttering
My heart racing
Why must I wake?
Why must the sun rise so soon?
My heart is not ready yet
It wants a few more minutes with you
We are in a meadow
A waterfall near us
We are surrounded by an assortment of beautiful flowers
Nature enveloping us
Is this how Adam and Eve felt?
3, 2, 1, SPLASH!
We jump into the water but you disappeared
I feel someone tickle my foot
I look underwater and smile
You grab me by the waist
I wrap my legs around you while my hands get lost in your hair
You start tracing little circles into the small of my back
You pull me in closer and kiss me with hunger
As the river flows, our love gets deeper
We come up for air
Whether it was from being underwater so long or you mouth against me
Who could truly know?
Everything is just so perfect
You are mine and I am yours
If only, I could dream upon a star
Then I could open my eyes and see you here
Rather than dream with my eyes closed wishing you were here
My pillow knows your name
The dark knows your face
My dreams, know your heart of gold
I should really get up now
I should really climb into my Chevy
There ain't no moonlight dancing here or butterfly kisses
But I know that when I see you at school
I can only imagine what your lips would taste like.